Everything in a trash bag

And when she left the world, the only one standing beside her grave was her unfulfilled dream.

We want to do so many things in our life, but sometimes we don’t feel ready for it now. We think and think about it, we know deep inside that we really want that, we just can’t do it now. We don’t dare. We might think about all the consequences. That it could be a mistake. We don’t trust ourselves and therefore we never try.

I was not only once in the situation that I said to myself I wanna do this and that. And when I don’t wanna do it now, I just said: I’ll do it later. But when is later? Some minutes, some hours, or maybe weeks, even years? Who knows if this ‘later’ will always come?

Someone once told be about all this optimistic guys. She likes that, but she also told me that so much stuff happens every day, she sees it when she reads the newspaper or switches on the TV. “They say they clean the house later, they write the letter to their friends later, they visit someone they haven’t seen for a long time later or call him later. They have so many plans for later, but no plans for now. How can they be sure that this later will come? That they have later so much time for all these things?”

I had honestly no words. I mean are we really such optimistics? We talk about the cruelty in this world, we are good in complaining, seeing all the negative aspects, but anyway: we live for the future. Why don’t we do things now? Why later? Is later always better?

When this later will come, and you say later again, there will come a time when later won’t be possible anymore. This one woman also told me about her visit in a retirement home. People who passed away were just packed in a trash bag, lying on the floor in the basement. People of whom no relatives were found. She doesn’t want to end like that. She doesn’t want to be alone and her whole life is wrapped in a black bag. She likes being optimistic, but she is realistic, and therefore she cleans now, she writes now, she visits her friends now, she calls them now.

“We live now, that’s what we know for sure, we hope to live later, too, but who can certainly know that?”