Is life a child's play? A girl's talk

Two 15 year old girls sitting at one table. Binah is from Africa and Lucy from America. They meet each other the very first time and have a conversation.

Binah: You have such a good life. You can go to school and learn. And after school you can work, you can earn your own money.
Lucy: Yes, but we have to get up early in the morning. And believe me, school isn’t a walk in the park. You have to learn a lot, people expect too much knowledge these days.
Binah: But it’s great to know so many things.
Lucy: When you need it in your life, sure it’s a good thing. But most things we learn at school is not useful. I mean why do I have to know what happened hundreds of years ago?
Binah: You know something about your ancestors, what they did is part of why your country is what it is, acts like it does in some situations, and have its laws to protect its people. I’d be happy if I would have the chance to know something about my past, that of my family or country. Why haven’t we developed like you Americans? Why are we still so poor?
Lucy: We aren’t rich either. I mean, when I switch on the TV I see these glamorous high school girls, wearing Gucci or Prada or whatever. I can’t afford these things. And I guess I won’t get a car for my 16th birthday.
Binah: Why do you need a car, or these Gucci or Prada, whatever this is? You have food. You can go and buy something to eat and drink, as much and whenever you like. And you have a safe home, you have your own bed.
Lucy: Yes, but that’s normal. Rich are people who live in villas, having a pool, a big park, lots of cars. What you see when you watch TV. Everyone wants to go to Hollywood and have that beautiful life.
Binah: I’ve never heard of Hollywood. And I don’t even have a TV.
Lucy: So you sit on your computer? Or chat with your friends using your smartphone?
Binah: My what? I have none of these things. I wish I’d have a computer to chat with people all over the world, but I can’t.
Lucy: Seriously? But what do you do the whole day?
Binah: I take care of my younger brothers and sisters, I help my mom to clean the house, to cook. I help farming fruits and vegetables. I am working the whole day. I can only eat what we harvest. We try to sell some of them, but it’s not very much.

I’ll stop here and let you think about how the conversation could go on. What do you think, when is a person rich? What makes a person rich? I think we mostly don’t recognize what we have because we think it’s normal. I don’t think that we have to go to Africa to meet someone who have less than we have. When I first watched the sitcom ‘2 Broke Girls’ it lets me realize how fast we can be broke. In one city, like New York, do not only live people like Carrie Bradshaw. There are also people like Max Black. When she was the first time in Caroline’s former room, even the bath tub was something special, not to mention the turning shoe cabinet. But for Caroline it wasn’t special at all, as she grew up with things like that.

So when is a person actually rich? Does it only depend on money, or can a person with lots of good friends also be rich? I guess sometimes we should more appreciate the things we have instead of complaining about others who have more. No matter if they have more money or more friends. Things could be worse.

What makes a good parent?

Last Saturday I celebrated my 24th birthday. And it was the first time I spent it with Ella, the cute little daughter of my best friend. Of course I have already seen her before, but on my last birthday, my friend Krissy was still pregnant. I was shopping with her not just once, to buy all the baby stuff. It's simply amazing that the little girl will already turn 1 year next month. Time is really rushing by. I never felt like that when I was a child - back then a year seemed to be endless.

kids need to be loved....

Ella was wished, but later. My friend wanted to go to college first and after that she wanted to have a baby. She felt too young and not really ready, but after she figured out she was pregnant, she knew that she wanted the child. I read so many discussions about when a life actually starts and for me an unborn baby is already alive, because he or she lives. And when you feel your baby moving in you, it is already a part of you that you don't wanna miss anymore. I think it doesn't depend on someone's age to get the fear doing something wrong. I think when you feel too young or say you first need to earn enough money to allow your child the best possible childhood, you are already caring, and that makes a good parent.

I heard so many people who said that they could never raise an adopted kid or have a foster child. Because they wouldn't feel connected to them. One friend of my mom also said, that she doesn't know about the parents and so doesn't know what the child will once be like. But seriously, do you know that about your own child? And isn't it the education, the way you raise your child, the way he or she becomes? I think DNA is just a base. It's like the stage in a theater and the education is the play.

...and wanna show their love

My aunt has three foster children and she loves them all like they would be her own kids. The parents of two of the kids, who are actual brother and sister, don't care about their kids. They haven't given them much food, so they were totally scraggy and are still much smaller than they are supposed to be. My aunt gave this kids a new chance to live. When they were asked if they wanna go back to their parents they said no. These days they don't even wanna have contact like telephone calls or writing  letters. I guess that is really sad, and why shouldn't there be a person who help these innocent kids? Don't they have a right to live?

I have often asked myself what actually makes a good parent? A good parent takes care of his or her child, gives him or her a place to live and share his or her love. Love is what keeps us alive. If a mom doesn't feel ready and think she couldn't raise the baby and give it a good childhood - whatever the reason for that would be - and so she gives away her baby, I think that makes a good mom. Better than keeping the baby and let him or her suffer by not giving them anything to eat and drink. Someone who has the chance to raise a baby, and give this given-away baby a new chance to live and a new home, isn't that a good mom, too?

I also think that gay people can be good parents. It might be a little bit strange for most people, because it's simply not that common yet, but as long as they are caring. Why not? After I have seen Neil Patrick Harris on Kelly Ripa last month I believe that he and David are good fathers. They really love their twins and spending time with them. They can't have their own children, and I know that there are lots of couples, not only gay couples, who can't have own kids either, so an adoption is the only possible way for them to raise a baby.

DNA is not the only connection. The biggest connection is love. Everyone has love to give. And wouldn't it be a good feeling if you would know you helped a person? This little girl or boy wouldn't be able to live without you, or not that well? Wouldn't it be as you would have given this person a life? What makes a good parent for you?

Good behavior exclusive

So often that I heard, mostly older people, say that the young guys aren’t that kind and friendly anymore. I hear many of them say that we don’t say yes and please and thank you. That we aren’t polite, don't open doors or let the older sit on our seat on the train or bus.
But do we have changed so much? Were the ones who are now complaining about us so much differently? I can’t imagine that. Things were different back then. I think their parents said to them that they should give them more respect, that they have to know how to behave. Maybe some decades ago the parents were more focused on their children’s good behavior than they are now – not all of them, of course.

source: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I know some parents who place their kids in front of the TV, giving them some sweets and then leave the room or even the house. They don’t do anything, so they think that they can’t be blamed for their kids’ bad education in behavior because they haven’t done anything (wrong). My aunt has two foster children and the parents of them acted that way. I would never allege all parents are like that. But in my mind blaming the teachers and what’s on TV for the bad education on their kids isn’t the right way.

We also have some classes in college about how to behave. Some of you might know that I study Media Management, and as a future manager I should know some rules like how to eat correctly, how to greet someone in the correct way and stuff like that. Most of the things I already know and at the beginning I thought this would be senseless. My parents taught me a lot about how to speak to people who are older than me, that I should not talk when someone else does and that I always look into the eyes of the one I am talking to. But I also learned in that class in which order to use the cutlery on a multicourse dinner, what topics you should talk about during a dinner meeting and what to do in various situations like when you need to go to the restrooms.

It helped me a lot, and I know in the future classes I will learn more because we never know everything. And of course some things can be excused, but as you wanted to be treated politely, you want to do the same to others. You can’t know everything from the beginning – you have to learn it and you need someone who explains you how it works.

Do you think that the young guys nowadays are less polite than some years or decades ago? Do you think that only teachers can be blamed for that? I think it is important how to interact correctly with other people because I am like a mirror: I reflect what others show me. I guess everyone is a bit like that. Am I right?

The bigger the better

When I was a child, my parents got used to tell me that I shall eat these and that - mostly fruits and vegetables - and eat everything on the plate. “You need to grow, you don’t want to stay so little, do you?”, they asked me not just once. They told me I have to become taller and stronger. Taller is bigger. So we learn from the very beginning, bigger is better. But what is big?

Breadcrumbs can be big, can’t they? You would now probably say - no, definitely not, but then I would say: ask an ant. Okay they aren’t able to answer but I guess you know what I mean. It’s depending on who is asked. Everything is big in some way. It’s just how you look at it or who looks at it.

I guess you should ask yourself what is big for you? And how can ‘big’ be defined? Is the bigger really the better? Does anything has to be big? What do you think about it?