Heading Home

It was a long way, not always easy to get there. I felt cold, I felt warmth, I saw the sun, and I saw the moon. I met people, so many. Some of them were dancing, some were singing, some were acting, writing, painting. I met people who smiled, people who cried, people who suffered. It wasn’t always easy, but it was important. I needed it all. Because they are all part of my experience, part of me. What would I be, how would I be, if some things didn’t happen the way they did? What if I wouldn’t have met some people? Would I still be the same person I am right now?

There’s no doubt that I made the right choice, not always in my life, but most of it. There are things I regret, but the really important decisions, well, they weren’t wrong. One of them was starting to write again. I did this all my life, and when I was writing my play “Like A Fairytale” in 2006, I remember my Mom saying: “Do something useful, do the household or help gardening.” My Dad was fine with it, he just let me write, because he knew that I liked it. I still do, and he still knows, and now also my Mom does. So the decision I made, to start this blog one year ago, was good for me. I could write, not only stories, I could write about things that were just going on in my mind. And I could get in touch with new people, people who let me know their opinion, people who inspire me because they also write about interesting stuff.

What and who is in our heart?
picture by Barbara Unterberger

One year ago I wrote about my Granny, and because Easter is not far away anymore I wanna write about her again. I still miss her. She died in the year 2000, 2 days after her birthday. She was very weak on her final days, and she had to leave this world just way too soon. She was caring a lot, she had the greatest heart a person could have, she loved music, she had the melody in her heart. And she was strong. He had cancer, and the doctors gave her only a few months after the diagnosis, but she lived 10 more years. She was a fighter, and she didn’t want anyone to be sorry for her or to treat her differently. She doesn’t want her family, us, to suffer, too. She kept saying that she was okay. She was smiling, she was enjoying every single day of her life.

The day when my Dad told me, he had to go and drive to my Granny, I knew that she passed. I just nodded, tried to distract myself by watching some TV and keeping an eye on my little brother. My Mom told me later a story about her Mom, when she was a little kid and her Dad was in the Second World War, and the whole family just wanted to have him back. One day my Granny as a little girl was setting the dinner table with her brothers and sisters, as they all heard someone coming upstairs. They knew it was him, they were all so happy to see their Dad again. My Granny opened the door, but no one was there. About 2 weeks later they got a letter that he died.

I thought about this story a lot. Why did they all hear him? I think he came home, and everyone could feel him. I remembered how I had the feeling that my Granny was in my room with me, shortly after she died, and when I looked to the corner where I felt she was standing, I couldn’t see anything. I just believe that heaven is not a place high above, it’s when the soul can go home and continue living in the hearts of the people she loved. My Granny’s Dad came back, they all felt it, and my Granny is still with me. As long as I keep her in my heart she will never die completely. I guess she knew that, before she died. She knew the time would come, she knew her time is limited. Back then I thought she must be acting, but now I am sure that she was actually happy. Not because she died that young, but because she lived 10 years with this cancer. She had these 10 years, she had more time than the doctors predicted. She could spend more time with her family, and that’s the most important thing.

Two hearts belong together forever
picture by db Photography - Demi Brooke

We all have a limited time, it’s not always easy, there are not only easy choices to make, but it’s our journey, our path that we are going. It’s on us, if we waste our life, or if we do what we like, what we love, if we spend our time with the ones we love. Yes, I will keep on writing, this blog was good for me and still is. The first year is over, but that’s just the start. And maybe one day, when I have to leave this world, my kids, or my grandchildren can read all these things on this blog, because all the posts will remain forever. And maybe this will help them to realize that they are not alone, and even if someone they loved died, it doesn’t mean she's gone forever, because what really makes us happy, is to come home, to be home. And as long as you don’t forget her, you will feel that she is still with you and never has left you. The really important things can only be seen with your heart.

Happy Birthday Jim

As you might know from my Surprise,Surprise blog post I collected birthday greetings for Jim. Fans from all over the world like Peru, Mexico, Spain, Italy, France, Germany, Brazil and some more countries sent me messages, pictures or video greetings. Once again I’d like to say thank you for everyone who’s part of this. I added them all to the letter, and I also made a video with the pictures, videos and the shorter messages (the longer ones are simply too much to read for a video, so they are only in the letter). You can watch it here, or go to youtube.

Some of you maybe know that Jim wants to learn French, and that’s why I add a video of my fave French singer Emmanuel Moire to this post. I love his song “Ca me fait du bien” since I firstly heard it in 2007. Back then I listened to lots of French music, and watched some movies and it helped me a lot to learn the language better – and to go to Strasbourg and order some “tarte flambée” (you should really eat that when you are there ;-)). For those who doesn’t know much French, in “Ca me fait du bien” Moire sings that he wrote a letter to his love, he hopes that he will come back to him. Everywhere he goes, it all reminds him of his love, but he needs that to be happy, to feel good. When he hears their song, he thinks about their love, their time together. All he wants is his love to come back, because he misses him so much, and he would love to have a chance to, at least talk to him one last time. But even if he won’t come back, it would be okay for him, if that is what makes him happy. He only wants him to be happy and he can only be happy when he is happy. So the last thing he does, is writing a letter.

It’s a very beautiful song about love, I do not only love it because of its beautiful lyrics, but I also love the melody, Emmanuel Moire’s piano playing and voice. I could listen to all his songs the whole day, and I’m glad that he will release his 3^rd album this year!!

But back to another part of the surprise for Jim: Kayla and Vicky also did an eCard and collected some more birthday greetings for Jim. Just click on the picture below and read the eCard. 

Some girls from Latin America also made a video for Jim. Watch it here:

So once again: 

Happy Birthday, Jim!!!

I speak for everyone now, who’s part of this little surprise: we hope you’ll see and read this, and that you like it. Have a wonderful day with your family, may all your wishes come true, and stay this wonderful person.

BTW: Just because I mentioned it in the Surprise Surprise post: I am still working on the Funny News Show I wrote as another part of the surprise for Jim which included only things he likes (based on what he told in various interviews), but because of some problems, I wasn’t able to finish it in time. Thanks to Chriselle Almeida and Letícia Bricio for helping me so much with this so far. I will put it on youtube as soon as it is finished ;)

It's about the journey

The Big Bang Theory is one of the few sitcoms of which you know how it will end, or at least what’s supposed to happen in the very last episode. Or what's the only thing that makes sense to me...

Of course, I don’t want to see that very soon, and I guess that there will be at least 3 or 5 or even more seasons to come, because of its huge success which is still increasing. But it’s like life. It all started with a Big Bang when Penny came like out of nowhere into the guys’ life. She expanded and now not even Sheldon can imagine his life without her anymore.

We meet so many people in our life. They come to inspire us, to maybe change us somehow and let us see some things differently. They give us another point of view on some things. Certainly, we can’t grow without having all these people in our lives, and no one would be who he is without the people in his life. Family and friends, they make our life worth living.

"We are who we are, because of the people we are with."

And it’s never about someone’s age. My aunt once asked me, at which age I think someone is old. She probably expected me to say, that she is, but she’s only 55. In my mind someone who is maybe 80 is old, but you can’t really define a specific age. Some are 70 and are still very young. It’s about how they feel. My mom once told me about her grandma who went once to a meeting with people her age – back then she was about 70. But she came back and said: "They are all too old for me, I’ll never go back there." 

And she didn’t. My mom’s mom was also very young. When she was 60, she watched the same TV shows than I did at that time and listened to the same music. She did nothing that you might expect a 60 year old woman would do.

picture by Max Murauer

I already wrote about my granny a year ago, shortly after I started this blog. I still miss her and I know that she is still with me, as long as I keep her in my heart and mind. I won’t see her again with my eyes, but she’s still a part of my life, and as long as I won’t forget her, she’ll stay alive through me. She died in the year 2000, 2 days after her 64^th birthday. She was not old, in no way. She loved her life. She loved her family, and she was loved. 

"Life is not about its length, it’s about its intensity."

The Big Bang Theory is just about life. About people coming to us when we least expect but mostly need them. When we lost something, or miss something. Someone who reminds us who we are, when we are about to forget it. Someone who reminds us of a beloved person we once lost somehow, like an ex boy- or girlfriend, someone who moved or passed away. They can inspire us, they help us to get back on the right track. Without other people in our life, it would be senseless. Every new part of our life, every new chapter starts with new people, it all starts with a Big Bang. And like in that show we all know what has to happen at the very end. We don’t want this to happen any soon, though we know the day will come. But it’s not about that, it’s about the intensity, how we live our life, with whom we spend it, who do we choose as our fellow travelers. Because it’s all about the journey.

Love is war

picture by Barbara Unterberger

Yes, you read the headline right: Love is war. You maybe think: What? Seriously? Think I might be kidding or lying. I guess so, because you know that love is the opposite of war. And I am pretty sure that was your first thought, so you think I have to be wrong. Well, I'm gonna prove you that we both are right.

Remember the time when you were head over heels in love and you fought for someone or someone has fought for you? Back then you did everything to impress that person, that he or she will pay attention on you. You did everything that he liked you, that he would be able to fall in love with you.

Fight is something that we know from war, and certainly we hate war, so we hate fighting. But fighting for what or who we love, that is something different. Because it is a fight in which no one will get hurt – oh wait, what if you figure out in the end, that he doesn’t like you at all, he is not interested, or has already a partner? Well, then someone is hurt: you. I don't want anyone to go through such a situation. But sometimes you have to, to find out the truth. 

It can also be possible that two guys fall in love with the same person, and the two of them fight for the one love. Certainly one will be hurt in the end. Someone will suffer. And it can become bad, really bad. When two girls fight for one guy – it can become ugly. No one wants to be involved in such a war.

A war is bad, it is hard, it is horrible, anything but good. Fighting against someone is simply wrong, but fighting for someone, for the one you love, fighting for your passion or your dream to come true, that's a good fight. And that one is always worth fighting for, no matter if you fail or succeed. And if it's not working the first time, keep fighting, don't give up and one day you will be successful.

Yes, love can be a war, too. It’s not just the opposite.

Caught in my body

We need it every day, to live, to survive, and to stay independent - our body. We need our legs and feet to walk, our hands to do something, to grab something. But what would you do if you lose the control of your body? When others do these things for you? They feed you, they take you out of bed, they move you from one point to the other? This can happen when you get older, and weaker. When your body doesn’t want anymore what you want. But it can happen to all of us at every moment of our lives.

You maybe remember that once I wrote about Samuel Koch who had an accident on a German TV show and since then he’s paraplegic. He wanted to jump over moving cars with special jumping stilts. He did this for several years, he loved that and never had anything happened. But in the show he fell, and even surgery couldn’t cure him. He is now working on his acting career, praying a lot and keeps asking why this had to happen to him. The accident happened in December 2010. He is now 25 years old. But he doesn’t stop fighting, life goes on.

So this can happen to all of us, at any time. An accident, a disease, and then from one moment to the other we need someone to take care of us. Some people are unable to move from the start of their life. Their families have to take care of them. Be there 24/7. What kind of life is this? I heard about a man named Mark O’Brien, a poet, paralyzed from the neck down due to polio. Last year there was movie called “The Sessions” made about him and his life. How must it be like, when you are unable to do anything on your own? When you are just lying in your bed? At least he can talk to people, but he can’t touch them. The touch is the most important sense we have, we can’t survive without love and without touching and being touched.

It starts when you are a baby. You love it when your parents hold you in your arms. This is the only way to let you fall asleep. You need the touch when your Mom changes your diapers, or feed you. Through all your life, touches are the main things you need. It shows that there is someone who loves you and takes care of you. In these days we live right now, people don’t wanna show love that much, don’t wanna share it that much anymore. We touch others less than a few years ago, but this doesn’t mean that we don’t need it. And especially not that we don’t want it, does it?

But imagine you just can’t touch the person you love? As much as you want to, you simply can’t? Or you can’t do anything when you don’t like to be touched by someone? How would you feel? When I read about the movie, I have to admit I haven’t seen it yet, these questions popped up in my mind. It must be like you’re trapped in your own body. When you can’t control it, can’t tell it what you want to do. It must be very hard and I guess we should think about this more often. Think about how lucky we are, that we can use our body the way we want to, that we have the chance to touch the people we love, and that we are not completely and utterly at somebody’s mercy.

Watch here the official trailer of “The Sessions”

Pope Chuck, P.I.

Do you think about our new Pope? Who could it be? What country could he come from? Can you imagine Chuck Lorre as new Pope (despite the fact he’s Jewish)? Do you even care who’s gonna be the next Pope?
The Catholic Church was often discussed in the past years, not every time it was about good things. I am Catholic, and I am a believer but there are some things I simply don’t get. Why not equal rights for everyone? Why should a woman not have a chance to be Pope? I am sure she can do that, too. A few years ago, when only men were doing politics, some of them might have smiled, or laughed when a lady dared to say something, dared to have an opinion. But these women proved that they can also do that, and now men and women work together. And it works.

Within the next weeks the Cardinals will decide who will be the next Pope, after Benedict XVI retired. Saturday Night Live already showed him how he could spend his retirement. Christoph Waltz did a good job representing him. I simply love this, and if you haven't seen it, you can watch it here.

Even Chuck Lorre wrote in his vanity card  #409 about the Pope. Who might be the next? And how does “Pope Cuck” sound like? Could this be possible? This man has proved that he can do a lot, so why not Pope? At least he could write, like he suggested on his VC, a new sitcom called "Pope Chuck, P.I." (Kiss the ring, or get punched by it!). I laughed so much, when I read this. This man would definitely bring fun to the church, and help it to finally arrive in the 21^st century. Because sometimes it still seems that the church is stuck in the medieval times. There are people like Homer Simpsons who go to church every week (I know that he is Protestant, but anyway he's a good example, and by the way I don't think that there are that big differences between Catholics, Protestants and Jewish people), but he doesn't like it much because he doesn’t wanna hear what happened 2,000 years ago. That’s history. It should be more modern, tell us why the stories back then are still important in our everyday life. Some points of view just have to be changed or updated, because the times have changed, too.

Don't get me wrong, I don't wanna complain, I just wanna say that some things should be reconsidered. Like in some cases there can’t be a strict yes or no. There was a discussion about abortion and that the Church is totally against it. I support this, no doubt, every life is worth to live and I probably wouldn't, couldn't do that to my unborn child if I’d be pregnant. But what if a girl was raped? What if she was the victim and doesn’t want to be reminded of what happened to her? Can you just say ‘no’? Or don't allow her to take the morning-after pill, right after it happened? (Like in Germany, when a woman went to two Catholic hospitals but both sent her away without treatment, because they couldn't give her the pill)
Isn’t it the Church that says, everyone has his free will? Sure that the kid can’t do anything for what happened, he or she already lives before he/she is born and is a wanted child of the Lord. But what is about the free will of the mother? Okay, this might be an extreme case, but sometimes such cases are needed to show that there cannot always be a strict yes or no.
And why can cardinals and priests not marry? Why can’t women become priests? Why can’t gay people marry? Isn’t there this one sentence in the Bible that every person is equal?

Galatians 3:28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.

St. Peter's Dome -
picture by David Ohmer

No, it really doesn’t matter who will be the next Pope. It’s not on me to decide. I can understand Benedict XVI that he feels too weak to do this job anymore. He did a good job, and hey, he’s the first Pope tweeting. What a progress! I do believe the Pope will be heard and is still very important – and so the whole world is interested, like back in 2005, who will be the next one. So we wait till the white smoke will come from the chimney. The next Pope won’t be Christoph Waltz, and Chuck Lorre mentioned many reasons why even he can’t do that (and by the way: that man is busy enough, and we can’t let him do everything!). But whoever is gonna be our next Pope, he’ll remind us that the most important things in life are timeless and priceless, and love always wins over hate. We are all one in Christ Jesus. May God bless you.

You can read Chuck Lorre’s vanity card about “Pope Chuck”, and all the others he wrote, on his website.

Geeky Germans

Most people think that Germans are anything else but geeky, or funny or crazy. I realized that once more when I watched this week’s episode of Community, in which Jeff and the study group fought against the “evil Germans”. I have to say I laughed a lot about this, because mostly it is true. But Germans can be funny, they just often hide it. I can’t really say why. There are comedians in Germany and some are very funny, like Anke Engelke. She is smart, can act, sing and is simply hilarious. She’s also the German voice of Marge Simpsons. There might not be many funny Germans on TV, there are no German sitcoms, at least I don’t know one, and only one guy called Stefan Raab who’s having a late night talk show. The “heute show” is a funny news show, which can be a slightly bit compared to SNL. It’s just all about the news and politics, but very well made and very funny.

But Stefan Raab is the man of German Comedy. Whatever he does, it becomes a success. Many guys tried to do a late night show, but all of them failed. He does his show named “TV total” since 1999, which can be compared to Craig Ferguson, Jimmy Fallon or Conan O’Brien. But Raab also has many other shows right now, like the Poker Nights, in which he plays poker with 4 other guys, or he combines boxing matches with trivia. After each round of boxing, there comes a round of trivia, so it’s not only about a man’s strength. In the show “Schlag den Raab” (Beat the Raab) people can apply on the internet to be contestants of the show and fight against Stefan Raab. If they compete against him and get more points than him, which means they win more rounds, they win money. The largest amount someone took home was 3.5 Mio € (about 4.5 Mio $). The games can be any kind of sports like hockey or basketball, some games of skill like stacking cups, or answering trivia questions.

But the first thing he did beside “TV total” was the WOK WM. Since 2003 this championship (= Weltmeisterschaft in German, or short "WM") is a big TV event and every year it gets bigger. I guess you know that a WOK is an Asian pan. But Raab doesn’t cook with it, so it might sound that is a cooking competition, but it is not. He sits in the WOK and uses it as a sleigh. If that’s not geeky, I don’t know what is, or at least it’s some kinda crazy. But it works. People from 11 different countries start this year. There’s a single and a team competition, every team consists of 4 people. So they sit in their WOKs, and glide down the ice track which is normally for real sleighs. Stefan Raab proves very well that Germans can be funny, too, if only they want to.

I’m gonna watch the WOK WM tonight, it’s always fun to watch, and in my mind the best event of the year on German TV. That you can understand better what I am talking about, I found a video on youtube showing a man who works for a German radio station and did such a "WOK ride": 

Do you like sleigh riding, and have you ever considered using a WOK to do that? Would you like to sit in one and do a “WOK ride”?