Merry Christmas

I know that I haven’t been blogging much lately, but as some of you might know I’ve been pretty busy with college stuff. But anyway I wanted to wish you guys a Merry Christmas!!! I hope you can spend it with your families, with the ones you love and care about the most. Many can’t be home for the holidays, and I always remind me of that. How lucky and blessed I am that I can share these days with my family. Christmas is the time of love, to share it, that is the greatest gift of all: the present is a present. Try to capture that moment, try to inhale the joy and laughter and all the happiness, and whenever you struggle in the following years or your life turns into a bumpy ride, think back to those happy days. They give you the strength to never give up. No matter how hard times might be, Christmas is the time to forget the stress, the sorrows, all trouble and pain. When you are sick, or alone, when you have to work or can’t be with your family for which reason ever, keep in mind that you are never alone. Your family might not be with you physically but mentally they are. The spirit of Christmas is everywhere these days. When Christ was born he brought light, joy and hope to everyone. He brightens up our lives. Remind us that we don’t need much money, don’t need a big villa or a limousine to be happy. Happiness is an attitude. Think positive, laugh a lot, help others, show your love and support and you will receive appreciation and gratitude. And one day these people will come and help you when you need them. 

pic taken from weheartit.com

Maria and Joseph, two poor people, their lives weren’t easy at all. And even when they needed help the most, no one seemed to care. But they found a way. They were blessed and they knew it. They didn’t let anything tear them down, not even on a cold winter’s night when they weren’t able to spend it in a warm house. The warmth came to them and so the light, when Jesus was born. All sorrows were forgotten and their lives were filled with happiness. And that is what Christmas is about. Celebrating the miracle of life, to appreciate everyone you have in your life. Because all of them helped you to become who you are in this very moment.

That is also why I loved the Big Bang Theory Christmas episode this year. The friends celebrating Christmas all together but without Sheldon who doesn’t like Christmas for several reasons. One of them is giving a present of the same amount of money to the person who he receives a gift from. This was also discussed in this year’s Simpsons Christmas episode. For many people Christmas is just about the money. Something I don’t like either. You give something to someone you love and show this to that person. The thought counts. Something that wasn’t that expensive can have a high value to the person you give it to because it’s personal and it comes from you. Like when Sheldon received the napkin in season 2. First it was only a napkin, then he saw it’s signed by Leonard Nimoy and he even whipped his mouth at it - and so a simple napkin meant the world to Sheldon and he couldn’t find the appropriate present for Penny. This season the friends celebrated without Sheldon and that was a gift for him because he doesn’t like it, and they waited to celebrate till he was gone. It meant they thought of him. And they did.

took a screenshot of season 7's Big Bang Theory Christmas
episode while watching it on CBS website

Where would they all have been if Sheldon wasn’t in their lives? Anywhere else but not where they are. I love that thought. When I started this blog almost 2 years ago, I wrote the story of the actual Big Bang Theory by using the characters of the show. And it started with Sheldon. I doubt that any of the writers read my blog, so I love that they might think the same way I do. Sheldon wouldn’t be who and where he is without all of them either. (Though he would never admit that!) 

That his sister Missy was pregnant and gave birth to a son was also something I like. This tiny new person came like out of nowhere (at least for Sheldon’s friends this was big news), born on Christmas and will sure have an impact on Sheldon somehow. I doubt Missy will name him Jesus, but anyway, I love the idea of putting the birth of a son to a Christmas story. Though it might be too obvious and less creative for some guys but it just fits to the holidays and what we celebrate these days. Family comes together, friends come all together. The friends also allowed Stuart to celebrate with them, because no matter how lonely or upset someone might feel to be, on Christmas no one is really alone!!

I hope you have wonderful, peaceful holidays, may they be merry and bright, filled with cheer and joy. No matter where you are, you are not alone, never! There are people out there who love you, who care about you. Some you may not know yet, but once you will come into their lives like the big bang, out of nowhere, expanding in their lives, and they no longer wanna think about their lives without you. Because your family and friends are happy to have you in their lives and they wouldn't be the same without you. Enjoy the miracle: life! 

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!

pic of my Christmas tree

Being perfectly me

Last Friday Oct 18, Jim Parsons and Todd Spiewak won the Inspiration Award at the GLSEN Respect Awards in LA. GLSEN is a Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network. The Big Bang Theory star and his partner seemed to be surprised that, like they called it "boring lives", inspire others. They might live in Hollywood but they seem to have a very normal life when Jim spoke about them having coffee in the morning, doing the laundry and taking their two dogs for a walk. But exactly that is something inspiring. When I grew up I learned that is not important to be rich, it's important to be happy. Sure Jim is blessed with both, and as much as he appreciates the success of the show he's part of, he even more appreciates what he shares with Todd. 

As an actor you have to be one guy today and a total different one the other day. Even people who don't see themselves as actors, do act sometimes. And some even get lost in their self-created characters. This is what happened to Lady Gaga. When I read in an interview that she wants even her mother to call her like that, and not Stefani, her real name, anymore, I was truly shocked. I mean I love her music, do doubt, but in my mind she's overdoing it too often. She is seeking for the spotlight, she wants to be seen all the time. When you look at some old pictures of her, she seemed to be a shy girl, quite the opposite she is right now. But what makes people to change so much? 

Show everyone around you all your colors.
Their mixture makes you special, makes you who you are.

I am far away from being perfect. I am not a Lady Gaga who wants to be in the spotlight. My parents taught me to be humble, to appreciate the little things in life. When two or more people talk, I can't just join the conversation. I only do it when I am asked directly. It's just something that I learned. I don't wanna bother anyone. Sure I sometimes have the wish that my life should be more exciting. But the longer I think about that wish, the more I realize that it already is exciting. I have a wonderful family and amazing friends who never left my side. What is more important than that? It's nothing that I can take for granted. I love to go to college, I love to see my fellow students. When I think back, everything I did the past 25 years of my life, I would do it all again the same way if I could relive it.

Lady Gaga didn't seem to be happy with her life. As much as I love to create characters and to tell stories, I never wanted to become an actress. People would know when I'm acting. That makes me even more fascinated by guys who can do that, like Jim. But he knows when he is acting. Some others not. We girls put on some makeup before we leave our homes, but we don't put on new faces. Lady Gaga wants to do everything to be seen, she wants everyone to talk about her. She lives like she's the sun in her own solar system. She is the big star. No matter where in the solar system you are, you have to see her. But I wonder what might happen if she becomes a white dwarf. Being always on the top is a very tough job. She is a fighter, that's for sure, but could she handle it to not be seen anymore and become again who she once was?

We are who we are, because of the people we are with. 

Stefani Germanotta didn't like what she saw when she looked in the mirror every morning. So she created a new person: Lady Gaga. But the fact she wasn't happy helped her to become what she is now: happy. And that's the most important thing. Do what feels right for you to do, be who you are. Some people might try to hide themselves, so they try to pretend to be someone else. We are changing all the time. When we grow up we don't see any change because it's a slowly process, but people who don't see us every day say something like: you grew a lot since last time I saw you.

As adults we still grow every day, but on the inside. At some point we put it on the outside too. No one wants to be the same his entire life. We need to be challenged, but over all we need to be who we are, ourselves. When I look in the mirror, I am happy. I am no Hollywood star, I'm not a famous actress or singer. But that's not what I want to be. I also don't see perfection, I do have my issues, but these make me just me. All my memories, all the decisions I made, all the people I have in my life, they all help me to just be me. And that's also something Jim Parsons said in his acceptance speech last Friday in LA at GLSEN Awards too. "...We (Jim + Todd) are both surrounded by so many people who make our lives better and easier, friends we've had for many years and friends we've made since living in L.A."

Live your life. Maybe you think it's boring, but it's your life and when you don't live it who does? Everyone can inspire other people when he dares to be himself and don't try to act, not try to hide behind a self-created character. I love to write and I love to tell stories, but I mostly love to tell my story. Here on this blog I do that, not as often as one year ago, but I still love to tell you guys new chapters now and then and what's going on in my mind. Inspiration comes from being you. So what do you see when you look in the mirror? Does it reflect yourself?

Why do we dance?

Do you like to dance? I do, but I'm not a really good dancer. I just love music, I love to watch musicals, so I already look forward to the Tony Awards, my favorite of all award shows. I mostly enjoy the opening numbers and knowing that this year's host is gonna be Neil Patrick Harris again will make it one more time legen-wait for it-dary. He can not only act, but is also an amazing singer and dancer.

Dancing is a good way to express your feelings, to show them. There are slow and fast dances, you can dance to almost all kind of music. Some dances are part of a culture, like in Latin America the Salsa or Rumba. People all over the world dance these dances, and of course there are many more.

Years ago the girls danced to impress the men, to entertain them. Now even men love to dance. And some are pretty good. I am very impressed by these shadow dancers. They don't sing like in a musical, they don't need words to tell a story, they simply dance.

As much as I love watching people dancing, I am not a big fan of dancing shows on Tv actually. But like I already tweeted there is a new dancing show in Germany called "Got to Dance" in which they are looking for the best dancers, single dancers or whole dancing crews. I'm very interested how this is gonna be. The original of the show is from the UK, and I already watched a few videos on youtube. I so enjoyed and simply love Ruff Diamond - their performances are just amazing!!!

So since I saw the promotional trailer of the German "Got To Dance" version, which included a scene from the Big Bang Theory flash mob last year and I was like - was that Melissa Rauch?? - I googled the trailer, watched it again and am now waiting when that show starts Thursday June 20 on Pro7 and Friday June 21 on Sat1.

In this trailer there is the question like the title of this blog post: Why do we dance?
Why do you dance? Do you love to dance?

I do. Whenever I feel lonely, or upset, I listen to music and it helps me to feel better and to rethink everything. Music often inspires me, helps me to see things differently. Dancing is also a good way to release fears, pressure and anger. Dancing can improve your self-confidence. People who wanna do something healthy but don't like sports much, they should think about dancing. You don't have to be a professional dancer, you just do it for fun. Just like Kaley Cuoco who convinced the cast and crew of the CBS hit comedy to do a flash mob.

We dance because we are born to. We dance because it makes fun, because we can bond with each other, we can do something together, be part of a crew and feel connected. We can show our emotions, and don't need words to communicate. We see people dancing and understand it, no matter which language we speak.

Happy Birthday Jim

As you might know from my Surprise,Surprise blog post I collected birthday greetings for Jim. Fans from all over the world like Peru, Mexico, Spain, Italy, France, Germany, Brazil and some more countries sent me messages, pictures or video greetings. Once again I’d like to say thank you for everyone who’s part of this. I added them all to the letter, and I also made a video with the pictures, videos and the shorter messages (the longer ones are simply too much to read for a video, so they are only in the letter). You can watch it here, or go to youtube.

Some of you maybe know that Jim wants to learn French, and that’s why I add a video of my fave French singer Emmanuel Moire to this post. I love his song “Ca me fait du bien” since I firstly heard it in 2007. Back then I listened to lots of French music, and watched some movies and it helped me a lot to learn the language better – and to go to Strasbourg and order some “tarte flambée” (you should really eat that when you are there ;-)). For those who doesn’t know much French, in “Ca me fait du bien” Moire sings that he wrote a letter to his love, he hopes that he will come back to him. Everywhere he goes, it all reminds him of his love, but he needs that to be happy, to feel good. When he hears their song, he thinks about their love, their time together. All he wants is his love to come back, because he misses him so much, and he would love to have a chance to, at least talk to him one last time. But even if he won’t come back, it would be okay for him, if that is what makes him happy. He only wants him to be happy and he can only be happy when he is happy. So the last thing he does, is writing a letter.

It’s a very beautiful song about love, I do not only love it because of its beautiful lyrics, but I also love the melody, Emmanuel Moire’s piano playing and voice. I could listen to all his songs the whole day, and I’m glad that he will release his 3^rd album this year!!

But back to another part of the surprise for Jim: Kayla and Vicky also did an eCard and collected some more birthday greetings for Jim. Just click on the picture below and read the eCard. 

Some girls from Latin America also made a video for Jim. Watch it here:

So once again: 

Happy Birthday, Jim!!!

I speak for everyone now, who’s part of this little surprise: we hope you’ll see and read this, and that you like it. Have a wonderful day with your family, may all your wishes come true, and stay this wonderful person.

BTW: Just because I mentioned it in the Surprise Surprise post: I am still working on the Funny News Show I wrote as another part of the surprise for Jim which included only things he likes (based on what he told in various interviews), but because of some problems, I wasn’t able to finish it in time. Thanks to Chriselle Almeida and Letícia Bricio for helping me so much with this so far. I will put it on youtube as soon as it is finished ;)

It's about the journey

The Big Bang Theory is one of the few sitcoms of which you know how it will end, or at least what’s supposed to happen in the very last episode. Or what's the only thing that makes sense to me...

Of course, I don’t want to see that very soon, and I guess that there will be at least 3 or 5 or even more seasons to come, because of its huge success which is still increasing. But it’s like life. It all started with a Big Bang when Penny came like out of nowhere into the guys’ life. She expanded and now not even Sheldon can imagine his life without her anymore.

We meet so many people in our life. They come to inspire us, to maybe change us somehow and let us see some things differently. They give us another point of view on some things. Certainly, we can’t grow without having all these people in our lives, and no one would be who he is without the people in his life. Family and friends, they make our life worth living.

"We are who we are, because of the people we are with."

And it’s never about someone’s age. My aunt once asked me, at which age I think someone is old. She probably expected me to say, that she is, but she’s only 55. In my mind someone who is maybe 80 is old, but you can’t really define a specific age. Some are 70 and are still very young. It’s about how they feel. My mom once told me about her grandma who went once to a meeting with people her age – back then she was about 70. But she came back and said: "They are all too old for me, I’ll never go back there." 

And she didn’t. My mom’s mom was also very young. When she was 60, she watched the same TV shows than I did at that time and listened to the same music. She did nothing that you might expect a 60 year old woman would do.

picture by Max Murauer

I already wrote about my granny a year ago, shortly after I started this blog. I still miss her and I know that she is still with me, as long as I keep her in my heart and mind. I won’t see her again with my eyes, but she’s still a part of my life, and as long as I won’t forget her, she’ll stay alive through me. She died in the year 2000, 2 days after her 64^th birthday. She was not old, in no way. She loved her life. She loved her family, and she was loved. 

"Life is not about its length, it’s about its intensity."

The Big Bang Theory is just about life. About people coming to us when we least expect but mostly need them. When we lost something, or miss something. Someone who reminds us who we are, when we are about to forget it. Someone who reminds us of a beloved person we once lost somehow, like an ex boy- or girlfriend, someone who moved or passed away. They can inspire us, they help us to get back on the right track. Without other people in our life, it would be senseless. Every new part of our life, every new chapter starts with new people, it all starts with a Big Bang. And like in that show we all know what has to happen at the very end. We don’t want this to happen any soon, though we know the day will come. But it’s not about that, it’s about the intensity, how we live our life, with whom we spend it, who do we choose as our fellow travelers. Because it’s all about the journey.

There can be only one

sure it's beautiful, but do we really need this to be happy?
picture by Sarah Ackerman

What are the most important things in your life? The things you can’t live without? What makes you really happy? Have you ever thought about these questions? I am sure you have. I often ask myself that, mostly when I spend the day at a shopping mall. There are the kids who say: “Mommy, I want that.” or “Daddy, can you buy me that?” Some of the parents roll their eyes, saying they already bought their kids a new toy, or they have something similar, or they don’t have much money anymore to buy it. But kids are kids, the way they look at their parents – yes, they know how to get what they want. Teenagers aren’t differently, they go shopping with their friends, but after they asked their parents for money. They want the new smartphone, or an iPod, new clothes, or whatever. And adults? Well, women never have enough shoes, these two words simply don’t fit together. Men want a jersey, sports stuff, or tools like a drill to prove that they can do everything on their own. But do they need all that stuff? Who is the kid here to tell us what we should buy, what we 'wanna' have?

For many people Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory seems to be from a parallel universe. He just likes different things, doesn’t seem to be very interested in others. Mostly it’s like he doesn’t care what others think about him. But it does make him upset, like when he taught some students physics and afterwards he read their tweets about his lecture and he didn’t read nice stuff. He is as normal as we all are, but his interests are differently. He focuses on brainwork, and to distract himself he enjoys playing video games. But he doesn’t care about shoes or how he is dressed, like in that episode in which Penny fell in the shower and broke her arm and Sheldon had to pick her something to wear. And in this year’s Valentine’s Day episode he gave his assistant Alex 1,000 $ to find Amy a present that she likes. But in the end, he gave her a paper. A single paper that told Amy she is from now on the person to call if Sheldon has an emergency. The money was wasted on things not that important. The real gift, well, can’t be bought and therefore is much more worth. And it never loses it.

We spend lots of our time in front of the TV, we watch the news, we watch our favorite shows, sitcoms, movies. And it shows us a world, a world that’s supposed to be our world. But is this reality the real reality? There are many people out there who suffer because they don’t have much to eat or drink or are very sick. But do we compare ourselves to them? No, we watch the Hollywood glamour, and wish to have such a life. A life in the spotlight, a life without any money problems. Are these the greatest worries we could have these days? Why do we need so much money? Because we see these people and we want that big house, we want these expensive gowns, and we want all these super cool gadgets. The question is: do we need them? Do we really want them or do we only want these things because others have them?

do we always need the newest fashion to be happy?
picture by Bert Kaufmann

Do we already live in our self-constructed world, in our own TV world? Does it affect us that much, that it shows us a reality that is not real and we wanna do everything to make this real and forget the real reality? And wouldn’t that make us a bit like Sheldon, who doesn’t seem to be interested in the real world, but instead thinks he can do everything on his own and prefers to live on the starship Enterprise? Sometimes we all wanna go to another place, to escape from our everyday life. The TV helps us to distract. But it gets better and better, and some can’t distinguish TV world from real world anymore. But that is its intense. Like a kid looking into their Mommy’s eyes: “I want that. Buy me that.” And what does Mommy? She buys her kid what he wants, and is happy that he is happy.

But isn’t it the sparkle in our kid’s eyes that makes us happy? It’s not about the money we spent. When I go to the mall I mostly love to spend time with my friends. When we were at school we saw each other almost every day, but things have changed. I have realized that time is the most precious thing we have, so I just enjoy the time. It doesn’t matter what I buy, or if I buy anything at all. The TV is our starship Enterprise, our escape. But like Sheldon we can’t stay there forever, we have to come back to the real world. Don’t get trapped, don’t let TV manipulate you, show you some commercials and stuff, trying to convince you, that you need this for being happy. If you really wanna be happy, spend time with the ones you love, because no money can ever bring you back the time.

The ability of liking someone or something

Have you ever asked yourself why you like someone, or not? It mostly happens in the first few seconds. Imagine you are sitting in a bar, having a drink with you friend and then you see this person. You can't hear her voice yet, because she's too far away, but coming towards you slowly. The closer she comes, the better you can see her. And already in that very moment you have made your first opinion of her. At college we learned that communication already starts the way we are dressed. Clothes showcases our personality to others. Clothes represents us. So when someone wears something that you would wear too, it's more likely you think positive about her.
And what is you meet that person on the internet? Well, more or less it depends on the person's writing. Does she use similar words like you, you keep writing with her, also when you figure out she likes the same things or she went through the same, like getting through a divorce.

But back to the bar. Imagine that person sits right next to you, talking to you. Now it's not only her clothes that you recognize, it's her voice, the way she talks, her gestures and her smell. In the German language there's the saying "Ich kann dich gut riechen", which simply means "I like you", but when you translate it word by word it's "I can smell you well". This might sounds weird to you, but it makes sense because several studies proved that smell is also an important factor if you like someone or not. It reminds you of a good childhood memory, or this person just smells like someone you know and like. We don't recognize this actively, but passively. I guess you all smelled something and then remembered something. For me it's like when I use the scent I used on a vacation. So every time I smell it, my memory of the vacation comes back, so I love it now even more.

Who are the reasons we like someone or something?
picture taken by D. Sharon Pruitt

But what is about Sheldon, the quirky character of the sitcom The Big Bang Theory, played by Jim Parsons? Is he liked by more and more guys because so many people already like, write and talk about him? I guess if he would exist the way Jim plays him, he would be as popular as in the show. So can it also be possible that someone who is liked by many people, will be liked by even more just because of that? Yes. We are interested in what others like, especially if it's liked by someone we like because of the above mentioned things. So we keep focused and even though we don't understand what people like about that person at the beginning, we stay interested. And some day, we start liking that person, maybe because we wanted to know more about him because so many guys seem to like him. And then these facts we learned about that person, make us feel we know him well, and maybe let us realize that we have more similarities with him than we thought at first.

It's also about other stuff for sure, not only people. So often that some friends talked about something like a book, a movie or a TV show, then I was curious, started to watch or read it and liked it, or not. It's not always working, because we are all different, and it's not the worst thing when two people who like each other don't agree with everything. Sometimes it's good to have a different opinion on something. Maybe this interest will bring you to someone else who also is a fan of that. So you meet people in your life. Sometimes the more you know about them, the more you like them, and sometimes people drift apart because their interests changes too much and they have less and less in common.

What do you think of that? How do you know when you really like someone or something? What's important to you?

The grown-up simulation

Kids want to become an adult as quickly as possible. But what when they are one? When they reach a point in life and want to be a kid again? Having such an easy-going life, a huge fantasy in which everything can happen. What a peaceful world. They don't have responsibility for anything, they just live and every single day is a new adventure. Children play the whole day, they get a register and play bank teller. And the next day they are a doctor. Kids can be whatever they want, whenever they want it. Isn't that great? And their parents protect them no matter what they do.

It's great to be a kid, but so often we want the opposite of what we have, of what we are. So a kid wants to have more rights, makes her own decisions, and doesn't want to hear stuff like "this is a grown-up talk, go playing". I heard that when I was a kid, mostly when we visited my grandma once a week. So my mom wanted to talk to her mom, which I can understand now, but back then... Well, when you are a kid, you have to be the number 1. You want your family to go where you want to go, you want to talk with them about your favorite topics and play with them when and what you want. But one day you'll realize, life is not only about you.

When I started to watch The Big Bang Theory about 1 1/2 years ago, and saw some videos on youtube afterwards, I could not understand why so many guys like Sheldon. He seemed to me the weirdest person of them all. But after I saw Jim doing interviews, I started to like him and so I kept focusing on Sheldon. I still see Jim in him, and so I like him now too, but I think people like Sheldon for what he is. Just himself. He is like a kid, who loves to play and who loves to be the number 1. And to be honest: who doesn't like that?

The thing is when we get older, we try to fit in, like to a group of people. We want to be liked by others, and because they are not our parents of who we can be sure that they like is no matter what we do, say or how we look like, we start acting. But sometimes when we act too much, we can lose ourselves in it. And this is when we stop being who we really are. The best thing of being a kid is, being simply yourself. They do not care that much what others think about them, because they know one thing certainly, and that is the only thing that really matters: my parents will love me.

Acting the whole time can be exhausting. It's a hard job, but we want to fit into the society, and so we go out, every single day, not playing, but acting. Life is a play, the stage is everywhere we go and we are the protagonists of our own play, doing our best that the audience, the people around us, like what they see. That they want to get in touch with us, maybe even work with us. We want to be loved, and think the more people love us the better. You can see that on Twitter or Facebook. When kids grow older and become teenagers they mostly think they are only great when the have thousands of followers or friends. But is that amount important? Does this mean I am not likeable only because I don't have as many followers as Lady Gaga?

Even Sheldon is growing up now, realizing that a relationship is between two people, and both are important. Life is not about one person. We all need each other. We can't expect people to like us, when we don't show that these guys are important to us, too. We want to be their number 1, and they want to be our number 1, it's all about give and take. And isn't it great to take care of someone you love? No matter how far his relationship will go, he will always stay Sheldon. A man who loves to play, to might do some stuff of which some other guy might say it's odd. But who cares? The people who are important will like him anyway, for just the way he is. That he dares to be himself.

I'll always be on your side

We need to grow up, to get through life, but we should also keep our childish side. We shouldn't stop playing, we should allow us to do sometimes some childish things, and think less about what others could think about us. You can act, and when someone's not liking you, just say you acted the wrong way, but it's braver to act who you really are. People who don't like you then, aren't worth to be part of your life. Because it's not important how many people like you, it's important that you are liked by the persons you love. And the ones who really love you, like your family and friends, love you the way you are, and not what you try to pretend to be.

The Big Bang Theory

For those who think the Big Bang Theory is 'only' a sitcom and haven't heard of the actual big bang yet. I tried to explain it by using the characters of the show. Hope you guys like it. Would love to read your comments.

the Big Bang Theory - picture from Wikipedia

Sheldon: First there was darkness and cold. Seemed to be nothing. But nothing is nothing. Only one smart genius is needed to prove that. Someone who thinks a lot about everything in the world, in the universe. Everything that contains this world, everything that is in there, existing. Because there is so much more than meets the eye. So much we’re not aware of. And so this one genius looks closer and finds something in the nothing. The one who thinks he’s the center of everything, the beginning. Who doesn’t need anybody else, but everybody need him, to exist, to survive. He feels like the base, the core. And he starts to show it. To show his smartness, to prove that he sees more, that he sees everything more precisely. He shows us something in the nothing. Zoom. Look closer. Can you see them? Can you see the tiny little strings? The tinier the better. Everything is in the detail. You have to remember that. Never forget what happened once.

Leonard: But it’s not only a theorist needed to let this continue. It’s not only about seeing something, and understand it. It’s also about doing. Giving the power, proving that another genius is needed, too. One who doesn’t think that much. One who just does it. He wants to get out from where he feels trapped. He wants to explore the world. He wants to do experiments, tries out new things. Even though the first genius feels comfortable the way everything is, and that everyone has his own spot in the world, the second genius knows there is more out there. And he has to force his friend to realize life is not only about thinking, and same procedures. Sometimes you have to get out of your comfort zone, to maybe find another, a better place to be. And so he raises a power, bringing the tiny strings together to a big mass. They contract. Getting bigger and brighter, and then in a sudden, they fly away. As fast as a flash, the two geniusses start to move.

Raj: They meet stars which were formed by the explosion. Some had turned to smaller and some to larger masses, the strings are clutching, and the nothing fills with even more something. Better to see for everyone. The stars were moving, but some are getting slower now. One loses his speed for a reason, but he doesn’t want to stand still. He loves to pause, to hold on, and enjoy the beauty of what is in front of him. The colors, the forms, everything. He feels like dreaming, but he wants to feel alive. He wants to meet other stars, he knows they are out there. But he can’t move. He can’t go, he needs help. As beautiful as everything around him is, he feels upset. Deep inside he misses something so badly. And when his dude comes up, and they meet other stars, he starts dreaming again. The beauty of life, one day it will come to him. One day he’ll find the brightest star, and forming a sun.

Howard: No, he’s not a rocket scientist. But he loves the space, he loves the speed. He rushes through the universe, and everything is interesting to see. The stars, the planets. Everything that is out there. And he loves to meet them all, get to know them better. Some he might only see, but can’t get that far, so he starts fantasizing. He’s maybe not the smartest, but he is looking for every chance to meet new stars. He wants to show that even he is someone special and he needs stars to prove it. So he’s like a rocket, flying through space, taking his slow friend with him. He helps him to meet other stars, and explores more and more. But one day he comes too close to the orbit. He’s attracted, can’t go anywhere else. His journey is over, the rocket has landed.

Bernadette: Though she’s not big, she’s powerful. She knows what she wants and when she wants it. She’s smart, and that’s how she got him. He’s powerless. She has to take care of him from this moment on. He felt safe in his home, his rocket. But now, he has to finally move out. He lives with her now, the rocket is gone, the reality is shown and their future ahead. Something small can expand into something big. The small ones can have the largest power. She stopped him to move any further. He’s with her, starting a new life. Tiny little creatures crawling on the earth. Coming out to see the light. Like a waitress, she serves them life, gives them love, as she has lots of love to give. Nice and endearing, but rude to everyone who wants to stop her in any way.

Amy: The tiny lives develop. They become bigger, and so their brains. It’s once again all about thinking. Thinking more closely, looking more presicely. The strings are now in the brain, forming synapses to help remembering. Remembering traditions, procedures, to remember where you belong to, where your spot in life is. The brain is needed for every being. The better the brain works, the easier the living organism can survive. The brain is a mystery like the universe. So much no one knows about it, so much no one is aware of. But one genius will find the solutions. She’s another genius who thinks as much as the first, but wants to develop, wants to see more than what’s just in her mind. She feels to be in between the tiny creatures, and what she wants to become. But she prefers what she sees as her future. And so the development continues.

Penny: Everyone of these geniuses are parts of her life. Like an actress she can play everyone. It’s on her which character she choose to play in her life. But she can do them all. She knows them very well. Every new day is another chance to 'serve', to showcase someone else, like a waitress, to the audience, the people who surround her. Like the waitress who serves life, she shows varieties of life to the people. That they can see there’s so much more out there, things we can’t make out with our eyes. The life we now know and have, needed time, needed development. Smart geniuses, all very different, are part of us right now. That girl in the end is what the brainiac wants to become, and the reason for the second genius that he forced his friend to move. Just that he can find his spot in life.

Best example for never giving up

You have goals in life? That is good because you need them, to encourage you reaching something in your life. You don’t wanna say, when you have to leave these amazing world one day, that you haven’t done everything what you wanted to, do you? Goals are important, you should always have some and fight for it. Never give up. It is never easy, so many obstacles come up all along the way. But it is like a computer game you want to finish: you wanna accomplish the mission as best as you can that you can go forward in the game.

The real life is not different, except that you sometimes get lazy and tired of working because you think you always fail, and so you reach a point and just stop. When everything went wrong, you don’t see any future. But maybe you have to look differently at it and if you look closer you will find another way for reaching your goal and making your dreams come true. There is never just one way and one right solution. It is not maths, it’s not an equation - life is life and much more complicated than simply putting it into numbers.

Think about it as a picture you wanna draw: you can use different pencils, different ways to draw it and different colors. One picture can show the same thing but it will always look differently. When you write an exam at school or a story about a chosen topic and some other guy has the same job to do, well, the result won’t be exactly the same.

Rare and special, like a dream: a double rainbow

Life can be hard but if it would be all so easy, you have to admit that, it would be boring. You would never play a video game, read a book or watch a movie or TV show without having a good story, would you? You need challenges because these make you stronger, let you learn new things, and in the end, when you are successful, everyone will be proud of you. Mostly you. The more challenges you have been faced with, the prouder will you be. Your dreams can come true.

The best example for never giving up - or a pretty good one - is the Big Bang Theory. You all know the show and how successful it is all over the world, but do you also know the start of it? The way it all began? The first pilot of 2006 had different characters like nowadays (Katie and Gilda), the set was more ‘dark’ than it is now and contained more sex talking. It was not successful at all, but Chuck Lorre and Bill Prady, the creators of the show, got a second chance and knew how to use it. The second pilot was not just good, it was awesome and caused a really big bang afterwards. But just after only 8 episodes there was the writer’s strike at the end of 2007 and therefore the show’s future was uncertain. So they had to break through another obstacle. They still haven’t given up and that’s why it was the first show on which was worked after the strike. They simply still believed in the show, believed in their dream, fought for it and, as you now know, it worked.

So if you believe, if you work hard and do the best you can, you will find a solution, you will find a way to reach your goals. It can be hard, but if you won’t fight, you have already lost and then you can only read: Game over.

What are you looking for?

So finally here it is: my first script that I published on here throughout the whole July. So here you can download the whole script as PDF and read it in one, or read it again.

This is all pure fiction. And as it can't be used for the show itself, I really hope it doesn't cause any trouble. If anyone of the show itself, what I doubt but I wanna clearify that, would read it and there would be any problem, just write me and I'll put it down. I really don't wanna get in trouble with anyone of these brilliant and creative minds, who inspired me a lot thus far and are still doing that. The show brought me back to what I mostly loved, the writing. I paused it for a while, but it needed the show to let me realize what it was that I missed all the time.

The story also has the physics stuff, and the Star Trek like the show itself. But it's not about the characters, it's about the actors themselves and what they could do, or what could have happened to them during a break after season five. But as I said it's pure fiction - so of course I know this won't happen like that. As I don't know any of these guys in person, I don't know if they would really behave like that. And some things might sound weird at the beginning, or are overstated, but it's all nicely meant.

I really hope you enjoy reading it, and as English is not my mother tongue, I would be really glad if you tell me when you don't understand any sentences, when I used a word wrong, wrote it wrong or I used some wrong grammar. I would be also very happy if you tell me what you like and what not, e.g. about how it's written.

And if you wanna publish it somewhere, or wanna know more about my work, please write me. Thanks.

So here it is, as a free download. Please don't edit or change anything, it's for reading only! Enjoy it ;)

 PDF-File What are you looking for? - written by Sanny Spear, June 2012

What are you looking for? -Part 22

This is the final of 22 parts from my first script named 'What are you looking for?' Please make sure you read the other 21 parts before - you find them below that post. I really hope you enjoyed the whole story - would appreciate if you'd share your opinion about it with me. I will soon upload the whole script as a PDF-file that you can read the entire story again.

Kaley, jumps up in the air with Melissa: We did it. We can see again.

The others also seems relieved.

Bill: Successfully landed. Mission accomplished.

Jim: What happened? Why are the girls screaming?

Kaley and Melissa stopped, run towards Jim and hug him. Jim’s confused.

Kaley: You are back. What has the girl done to you? Are you alright?

Jim, ponders: What girl? What are you talking about?

Kaley: The girl that changed our set to look like Star Trek. You were there and formed a big ball with her which caused a light. After that we were here and you were missing.

Jim: I was in the other room, all the time. Reading my kindle. This is such a good story, was totally caught in that crime Christie wrote. It’s such a page-turner. Wish I could write like that.

He shakes his head and frees himself from Kaley’s and Melissa’s hug.

Melissa: You were here all the time? The girl hasn’t done anything to you?

Jim: I don’t know which girl you mean.

Johnny: Wait. You haven’t heard anything? Not the singing, nothing?

Jim: I was reading. What’s up with you guys?

Mayim: I guess it’s not what it looked like. Maybe the Jim we saw who did this with the girl was only a projection. And so was the girl. Like she told us – she wasn’t physically here and everything is not what it looks like. This is the only way she could come in here and flying in the air and doing all the stuff she did.

Kaley: But we saw her. We all saw her.

Jim, looks at her: I didn’t.

Kaley to him: Yeah, you are someone special, sweetie, we all know that.

Jim smiles.

Johnny: I don’t know how she did that and maybe that’s not the point. It’s that we found out the sentence of truth: nothing is ever what it looks like. Some things which are there can’t be seen by us, but sometimes we can see things which aren’t actually existing.

Simon: So we weren’t looking for Jim, and we weren’t looking for coming back to our set, we were looking for the main sentence of the fith season. And that is the key to the sixth.

Bill looks again at his candlestick, which everyone can see as candlestick now. He holds it in his right hand, still standing behin the couch.

Bill: Imagination keeps us alive. As long as I still see my laser sword, I know I am still alive. Imagination is to be able to see things that others can’t, and that is important to survive in this world.

He holds the stick like a sword with both hands, and walks out of the room. Everyone looks at him.

Jim, ponders: What happened to him?

Kaley, claps on his shoulder: This is not what it looks like.

The End  

What are you looking for? -Part 21

This is the 21st of 22 parts from my first script named 'What are you looking for?' Please make sure you read the first 20 parts before - you find them below that post. The last part will come tomorrow.  

Kaley: Yay, we all have our keys. So what’s next? Where’s Jim?

She looks around like everyone, except Bill who is still controling the Enterprise from the couch.

Bill: Ready for landing? Mission’s almost accomplished. Need to go back to normal, need to leave the Enterprise.

Kaley: I like the back to normal and leaving that here. I mean I know we are still on our set but why can’t I still see the things the way they are?

Mayim: Maybe we should find a door.

Johnny wonders: What door?

Mayim: I don’t know. But what do you open with a key?

Melissa: Maybe we have to use all six keys to open sixth season?

Kaley: The door to sixth season? And where is that door?

Bill: Right in front of you. As we all live in our own imagination, we can’t trust our eyes. Everything we see is created in our brain. Everyone focus on other things, and two people see the same but don’t. That’s why nothing is ever what it looks like.

Kaley: What is he talking about?

Kunal: I am not so sure.

Bill: Life is like a computer game, we have the control panel of our own charater in our own game called life. We never play that game alone. We need people to realize our dreams. Believing in them and working hard to make them come true. With their help we can manage all obstacles in life.

Kaley: I still don’t get it.

Johnny: He is refering to everything on fifth season. All the things we figured out.

Kaley: So he was listening? Thought he’s miles away.

Bill, pointed to Kaley: See, this is what it looked like to you. But it’s not what it actually looks like. I am always here, even when you think I am miles away. And so we are all on our set, though it looks like we are somewhere else. Everything can occur to us, change us. And everything is needed to let us grow and continue our game. So let’s finally land and accomplish our mission.

He looks at the couch again which still looks like a control panel.

Kaley: I am not sure, if he is really awake like he said. Or if he wants to look like that because it doesn’t look like that at all. Oh my God, this confuses me.

She rests her right elbow on the kitchen table and holds her head with her right hand on that.

Melissa: We should put our keys together. With everything we learned we can open the next chapter to learn more. More about life, more about relationship, maybe more about physics, too. We’re gonna have definitely more fun.

Leonard: Okay, let’s try this. Come on guys. We make a circle.

Kunal: The circle of life. I love the Lion King.

He smiles while he’s walking in the middle of the room, meeting the other guys and forming a circle.

Simon: Oh come on, dude. You’re not Raj now.

Kunal: What is that supposed to mean? The Lion King is a beautiful movie about life, but also very sad.

Simon: It’s for kids. You’re grown up.

Kunal: It’s not for kids. Some things are for kids AND adults. Also the musical is so great, and not only kids watch this.

Melissa: Stop with that, guys. Let’s try this and focus that we want to see things again the way they are.

They put their keys together, holding it high in the air, in the middle of the circle. Big flash light crosses them, and after the light is gone, everything looks like Sheldon and Leonard’s apartement again.

What are you looking for? -Part 20

This is the 20th of 22 parts from my first script named 'What are you looking for?' Please make sure you read the first 19 parts before - you find them below that post. Next part will come next Monday.  

Kaley: Your turn, girl.

Mayim: I know, I know. Okay let me think what we already got.

She frees herself from Kaley’s arm and walks through the room.

Mayim: Do not only believe your eyes. Life is like a computer game. Believe in your dreams. No one is ever really alone. Do everything to make your dreams come true. What is missing? There is still nothing about Sheldon and Amy. About relationships. This is so important. In this season more than in the ones before.

Kaley: Relationships and love has always been a part of the show.

Kaley thinks, turns her head and looks into the air.

Johnny: But only Penny and Leonard’s relationship. These up’s and down’s and on’s and off’s.

Kunal: He’s right. It was all about Penny and Leonard. Now it is also about Amy and Sheldon and Howard and Bernadette.

Mayim: So it’s supposed to be something about that. What have all the three couples in common?

Kaley: Being together with a geek can cause many trouble. Trouble that most relationships don’t have to deal with, like buying toys because you know the boys like it but then they won’t use it what is was made for.

Mayim: Or a boyfriend who wants to make a video game’s night instead of accompaning his girlfriend to a birthday party of one of her relatives.

Kaley: Or who loves to play with trains instead of going to a wedding.

Mayim: It’s not easy. Neither for Penny and Leonard nor for Bernadette and Howard. At least the last couple had their final ending. One of which Amy is dreaming to have it with Sheldon.

Kunal: All beautiful relationships. And love stories. Every couple is special on its own and has its unique and individual problems.

Mayim: I guess the most important part in a relationship is to overcome all the obstacles that will appear. They challenge a relationship, make it special. Otherwise there wouldn’t be a beautiful love story, everything would be boring.

The sparkling light with the key shines in front of Mayim, who is totally happy that she also gets her key.

What are you looking for? -Part 19

This is the 19th of 22 parts from my first script named 'What are you looking for?' Please make sure you read the first 18 parts before - you find them below that post. Next part will come tomorrow.  

Mayim, lays her arm over his shoulder: The relationship between Amy and Sheldon isn’t also that what most people would have expect. For some it might not even be a real relationship. I think according to this, there are so many possibilities for being happy, there shouldn’t be only one definition.

Kunal nods: You are all right. Raj isn’t alone. He never was and never will be, because of his friends and family. They care and wanna help him, and he will find the right partner at the right place and time.

Sparkling light comes down in front of Kunal.

Kunal jumbs up in the air, grabs for it and dances like in a Bollywood movie.

Kunal: Got my key, got my key.

Simon holds his right hand in front of his eyes, and shakes his head.

Simon: I can’t look at this. He can be more embarrassing than Raj.

Kaley, looks at Kunal, laughing: I like Bollywood movies, especially the dances, the dresses of the girls and the pure romantic.

Johnny, who finally sits down on his desk chair: This looks like a dream life. So colorful and romantic people everywhere.

Bill: But some dreams can come true. Look at this.

He tries to imitate a fight with his laser sword.

Bill: No one can win against me. I have the sword and now I will control his ship.

He walks to the control panel of the Enterprise, or what looks like that, but in fact he walks behind the couch. Everyone looks at him.

Kaley: He totally lives his dream now.

Mayim: He made his dream come true when Leonard Nimoy and Stephan Hawking came to us. I guess this was his hightlight of the fifth season.

Simon: Like Howard, Bill make his dream come true. He worked and tried and never stopped to believe in his dream. Finally, it became reality.

Another sparkling, this time in front of Simon, who happily and smiling grabs at it.

Mayim: Oh damn it. I am the smartest here, but the last one to get the key.

Kunal: Bill also hasn’t gotten his, yet.

Bill: Ready for take-off. 3-2-1.

He pushs some buttons and starts the ‘ship’. He leans back like it would actually start.

Simon: I don’t think he is interested in finding his key.

Johnny: Yeah, he is deep in his dream. Like being caught.

Kaley: Okay, I think we have found the real geek on this.

She stands up and goes into the kitchen, stands between Kunal and Mayim, leaning her right arm on Mayim and the left on Kunal. She looks at Mayim.