You are not alone

I am a TV fanatic, which means that I watch plenty of TV shows like sitcoms, drama, and crime series. As a writer I'm especially interested in all these stories. Because of the less time that I currently have - mostly because of two projects I'm working on and as my exams start next week, I have a few things to learn, too - I have two days of the week which I spend watching all my shows. I love to see the characters, the way they are involved in the story and develop every time a little bit. Sometimes I even compare them to each other. When I saw the new episode of Guys with Kids in which Marny and Gary think about who would be the best couple to take care of their kids if they both die, it reminded me of the Simpsons' episode the week before. Homer doesn't put a hairdryer into a chicken to heat it up - but it could have been him - but he and Marge are trapped after they were in the middle of a hurricane and a house fell on them. Which in my mind stands for the whole world is crashing down onto them, and sometimes even the craziest things can occur, maybe even those you're not at all aware of. So when Homer and Marge are in the house but can't go out, they think about who could take care of Bart, Lisa and Maggie, if something would happen to them. You see, same main topic on both shows, and indeed a very important thought.

Life is like the water of a river - it never stands still
picture by Wolfgang Staudt

But it's not only these two shows that I compared to other shows. In fact, every episode last week was about changes.  Like Abed on Community - he is afraid when he thinks about having his last year at Greendale. He doesn't like changes and he hopes to stay in touch with his friends he met there. Also Jake on Touch is not a fan of changes, especially not when they are not meant to happen. For him and his Dad started in season 2 a new mission, they are now in L.A., having a new last name and trying to find a girl and solve the big puzzle.

Even in Seattle Grace Mery West hospital, which means on Grey's Anatomy, there are lots of changes. After the plane crash the hospital has big money problems, and even though Dr. Cahill wants to help and has found a buyer for the hospital and therefore a solution for the lack of money, the doctors don't want that change. We will see if the plane-crash victims stick together and agree with Callie's plan to rescue the hospital without any change, but by using their own money to buy it. In Shonda Rhimes' other show, Scandal, Olivia Pope has to solve the probably biggest problem in her career. Fitz finds out that he wasn't elected to be the president, and James wants to reveal that, but didn't because he loves Cyrus, who works for Fitz, and he knows that the career of his husband would find an end and James have to raise their kid on his own. So while watching the show, you, the viewer, think about that change. What would happen if that all would come out? Of course this would mean the end of the show, so the only question I had: how do they get out of this?

But not enough changes: Barney on How I Met Your Mother wants to find out everything about the man Robin was obsessed with and sang about in her song, when she was a Canadian popstar. A few seasons ago, that wouldn't have been a thing Barney would do. So he had changed, too, and figured that out in last week's episode. On The Big Bang Theory Sheldon isn't ready to move in with Amy, nor wants Penny to move in with Leonard. So they all have to deal with a change that will come soon in their future, and lets them think about it. On Pretty Little Liars Spencer drives everyone crazy, after she figured out that her boyfriend Toby is part of the A-Team, which follows her and her friends since Allisson's death. Spencer changed a lot, as she is not that person anymore who has everything under control, makes exact plans and knows what she's doing. Also the 2 Broke Girls are not safe from changes. They find out that Andy moved, and Caroline doesn't like the idea being single for the rest of her life, while Max is told having a husband and kids in the future.

picture by MMcDonough

Changes come to all of us sooner or later, and sometimes we just think about possible changes in our future. Changes can scare us, when we think about what could happen. When we have to take a decision we ask ourselves 'what if...?' But in the end it's like what Abed find out at the end of the Community episode: a few years ago he didn't know the people he is now afraid of to lose. Back then going to the community college was the change. He was afraid what might happen, but he did it anyway. He went to the college, he met these people. And he doesn't regret that. It's normal being afraid of the future, but the present, right here and right now, was the future of yesterday. We all wanna stay in our comfort zone, we wanna do the things we know with the people we know and love. But we should never be afraid of changes, because they can be good. They can bring people in your life, or let you realize the truth of someone or something. Changes are sometimes surprises, happen coincidentaly, sometimes they are not that good, but in the end it's the changes that challenge us, that let us grow, and make us the people we are. 

The past is the present's teacher to improve the future.

When something in our life is constant, then it's the change. Life is never standing still, the earth keeps revolving. So when you are afraid of the future, afraid you could be alone some day, you are not and you will never be. As one door closes, another one will open.

Things I never did...

... will always remain things I never really knew.

Do you have New Year's resolutions? I do. And there was only one I had for 2012 and didn't do, and that will be the one that I'll definitely do as soon as possible. A new year is often seen as a new chance to change things, some see it as some kind of motivation. People wanna do more sports or quit smoking. I guess these two are the all time faves of many people. And I should do more sports, too, so it's also one of my plans for next year.

But there is so much more out there. Why not trying something completely new? There is a world out there, offering so much, way more than we are aware of. So much stuff that I haven't dared to do, like bungee jumping, because I'm just too scared. I have acrophobia, not when I'm on a plane, or I feel safe like standing on a high building with a secure handrail, but when I don't feel safe, ohh my. This is why I can't spend a night in a tree house, or walk on a pendant bridge. And the next thing why I'll probably not do bungee jump would be the free fall, to lose the ground and just fall. And hoping that the rope won't break. But I guess if I could overcome my fear, I might like it, but if I don't try I'll never know for sure.

So that's one of my resolutions: overcome my fears. Fears are good to have and they keep us from doing mistakes or something we might regret one day, but it also feels good after you did something the first time. It made you proud, proud of yourself that you made it. I don't say you all should go bungee jumping, but thinking of something you never did and just do it. There are so many things out there. Maybe you read about something you never heard of before, or someone told you about it - it's always best to do something with your partner or a friend. Be curious, don't only do things you used to do all your life, try something new. Maybe you think you don't like it, maybe you are afraid to fail, to lose your stability, to come out of your comfort zone, but it's worth a try.

New Year gives the chance to change something. To have the will to do it. One of my fave quotes this year was from the sitcom Ben and Kate. I also tweeted that in November because it is so true:

"You need to go out there and try stuff. And don't worry about not succeeding because trying is succeeding."

I had a really great 2012, and I hope you also have great memories. I still can't believe that it's already over, because it seems to me it just started. I thank you all for stopping by, commenting and sharing some of your time reading my posts. This means a lot to me!!! And no matter if you have New Year's Resolutions or not, I wish you all a wonderful 2013!!!

As this is the last post in my first blogging year, I'd like to share with you my fave song from the musical Sister Act which I watched last Saturday and absolutely loved it. When I was looking for just the song on youtube yesterday, I found that someone filmed that scene. Great voices and wonderful lyrics.

Happy 2013 my Blogger friends!!!!

The tutu project

This blog post is a part of the I follow my heart project

Yesterday I saw something on TV which really caught my eye and touched my heart. And after watching it, I thought: this could be the first contribution to my charity project I Follow my Heart, about what people do to help others. That it's not only about the money. There are many ways people come into our lives and change it in a good way. And writing about these people who spend time and do something really impressive, is just a great thing and worth to share it.

I don't know if you have already heard of the Tutu Project. I haven't since yesterday. It's about the New York photographer Bob Carey who takes pictures of himself wearing nothing but a tutu. And the reason is his wife who was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2003. So he takes pictures to cheer her up, to give her hope to beat it.

A commercial assignment for Ballet Arizona inspired him to do this. He started to think about beginning a series of pictures with him in the tutu. When Carey and his wife moved to New York, she was diagnosed and he dedicated the series to her. He wants to give her hope, a reason to laugh and still have some joy when everything seems so dark. I guess it cheers him up, too. I mean what can be better than seeing your beloved smiling?

This is such a good idea, so touching. Photos are not just pictures, some do even tell a story. A good picture doesn't need words to be understood all over the world. Because it can say more than any word could. That's why I can't find any word that could perfectly describe what I feel about this. There's gonna be a self-published photobook called Ballerina which is dedicated to all women who fight against breast cancer, and their relatives. All the net proceeds from the book will go to breast cancer organizations like CancerCare.org.

If you want to know more about this wonderful project and also see more pictures, please go to The Tutu Project.

Picture and information for this blog post taken from Wired

If you have an idea or want to write a guest post on my blog about someone who inspires you or someone who does something great and inspiring to help others, please contact me.

Form a unit

Today is in Germany the 'Tag der Deutschen Einheit', which means 'Day of the German Unity', the national holiday. It's a big and important day, because the two parts of Germany came back together after so many years. When in 1989 the Berlin Wall opened, many people from the East came to the West and vice versa. It was a touching moment, and though I was only one year old when that happened, I saw so often the scenes afterwards on TV.

I also saw when the Wall was built, and the politician Walter Ulbricht said, that no one had the intention to build a wall. But it was built. It was like you opened a window and saw your neighbors and one day later you could only see bricks. Maybe your mother lived across the street, but you couldn't visit her because of the wall that covered the entire road. I mean it wasn't easy back then, and I am happy that I live now.

The future's in the air, I can feel it everywhere, 

Blowing with the wind of change

from the song 'Wind of Change' by the Scorpions 

Some parts of the Wall still stand in Berlin as a memory, and in some souvenir shops there you can buy parts of the wall. It's interesting because you can still feel all the history that is in this city. You can still visit Checkpoint Charlie, some things didn't change. It has all the charm from the past, the future and the here and now. So if you want to visit Germany, make sure you won't miss Berlin.

Forming a unit, being back together. That's what the Germans celebrate today. Being separated led to many differences, as the Eastern part couldn't do that much, and hadn't got as much as the Western part like food or possibilities to choose where to go on vacation. So the differences grew bigger, and it was like two different countries. But in their hearts they were still together. Maybe no one would have admitted that, but you noticed that it was true when the Wall opened.

So when someone tries to be more special it will mostly lead into nowhere. Everyone is special, but we all belong together, also in the world. War is never the right solution. We all want to live, we all want to interact with other human beings in a kind way. We all want to be respected for who and how we are. No one is better, no one is worse. Let's stop the war, and form a unit. That's what I hope for the whole world. That one day people will stop fighting, and appreciate the special gift of life.

Here is the song, which is the song of the German Unity, 'Wind of Change' by the Scorpions.

Another big BANG

Time is going by so fast, it’s amazing that I already write my 100th blog post today. What a blast! I’m doing this since March this year, and I like it all more and more. Mostly I like the people who come and read what’s on my mind. It’s great that you take your precious time for reading my lines, and some of you also leave a comment. I love to read them, I read them all. I also go to other blogs, and it’s wonderful to ‘meet’ so many nice guys, to know more about them and their life.

Writing means a lot to me. I loved it already as a kid to write down so many things. I love to be creative, to think about a topic and how to write about it. I love to think, sometimes I maybe think too much. I know that it’s often better to simply do somethings, and I also tell myself, that without trying I will never know if it would work. Then I ask myself what would be worse: failing or never trying? What are the things we regret in the end? The ones we did, or the ones we did not even try?

I’m glad that I didn’t think too much about starting this blog. It’s my second, actually, the first one was in German like most of the stuff that I wrote before I started this. As writing always helped me, that blog was like a fresh start to me. I started to write it all in English, the language that had fascinated me all the time. For a reason that I can’t really describe. But I liked it, I loved reading books or watching Conan O’Brien when I was about 13 years old. He was the only late night talker I could watch on TV, now it’s Jimmy Fallon. Luckily I have internet now ;)

I love the American comedy, it’s so much fun, not like most of the German comedy. I don’t know that much funny German stuff, only two parodies: one of Star Trek (I was at the original set of that movie, and during a set tour we could replay parts of the movie, which was my first time in front of a movie camera, which is a very good memory and I still have the DVD and totally enjoyed it) and one of Winnetou. We do have some good shows and at least one good late night talker called Stefan Raab, who also writes and produces great music, but in my mind we can’t be compared to the US.

Anyway, I love Germany, and I love the place where I come from and grew up. But I also feel connected to the Americans, maybe because I have relatives there, and in Canada as well, and that’s why I started that blog. I had the chance to write and hoped that anyone would read it. I can improve my English, my writing. I don’t know yet where I’ll go after college, if I’ll spend some time in the States, or if I’ll stay in Germany. The future is a surprise, it would be lame if we could predict exactly everything, wouldn’t it?

I’d like to thank you, you who come to my blog. You are the reason why I still love to do that. That blog was the right decision, though I also struggled a lot. But I needed it, because I missed the English as much as the writing, while I was working for some years in an office after school. It helped me to end the darkest time I went through. I really don’t wanna go back to that time, in which I didn’t saw a future or a reason to live. But now I am back on track. This blog was like a big bang, the second after Jim made me see who I am, what I wanna do, what I missed. After 100 blog entries, I feel that another big bang has to come. Another thing I am working on. As people helped me, I try to give something back, try to help others. It’s a new project I thought of for a while, and I can’t do this on my own.

You can have a look here or by clicking on the tab above -> Charity project I follow my heart. Please spread the word, please write a comment, share your opinion on it, or if you have any ideas to improve it. Have you met such a person who just came into your life, and changed it that you are glad and happy that he or she did that? It don't have to be a person you met in real life, maybe also someone you saw a TV or anywhere else, that let you think about something and see it differently. That this person has inspired you in some way? If so, please tell me about it. Let us show that we love and appreciate the work of someone else. Let me create a big bang for others, too. Thanks.

My first interview

This time I'll keep it very short. It's probably the most personal thing I've ever done. You might know that I study Media Management and that it's part of my studies to write articles for magazines, to design them and also to do interviews, photos and so on. So as my studies will continue in 2 weeks, I thought why not doing an interview with me? It was a good practice for me and another chance to write what's on my mind. I struggled a bit but in the end, but then I thought why not putting it on my blog?

The interview is about when I started to write, how I came back after some years of not writing at all, when I realized what I missed all the time, how much it helped me, what inspires me, what I like about TV shows, plays and movies, and why the internet is so important these days. So if you want to, feel free to click here to open the PDF and read my first interview.

Best example for never giving up

You have goals in life? That is good because you need them, to encourage you reaching something in your life. You don’t wanna say, when you have to leave these amazing world one day, that you haven’t done everything what you wanted to, do you? Goals are important, you should always have some and fight for it. Never give up. It is never easy, so many obstacles come up all along the way. But it is like a computer game you want to finish: you wanna accomplish the mission as best as you can that you can go forward in the game.

The real life is not different, except that you sometimes get lazy and tired of working because you think you always fail, and so you reach a point and just stop. When everything went wrong, you don’t see any future. But maybe you have to look differently at it and if you look closer you will find another way for reaching your goal and making your dreams come true. There is never just one way and one right solution. It is not maths, it’s not an equation - life is life and much more complicated than simply putting it into numbers.

Think about it as a picture you wanna draw: you can use different pencils, different ways to draw it and different colors. One picture can show the same thing but it will always look differently. When you write an exam at school or a story about a chosen topic and some other guy has the same job to do, well, the result won’t be exactly the same.

Rare and special, like a dream: a double rainbow

Life can be hard but if it would be all so easy, you have to admit that, it would be boring. You would never play a video game, read a book or watch a movie or TV show without having a good story, would you? You need challenges because these make you stronger, let you learn new things, and in the end, when you are successful, everyone will be proud of you. Mostly you. The more challenges you have been faced with, the prouder will you be. Your dreams can come true.

The best example for never giving up - or a pretty good one - is the Big Bang Theory. You all know the show and how successful it is all over the world, but do you also know the start of it? The way it all began? The first pilot of 2006 had different characters like nowadays (Katie and Gilda), the set was more ‘dark’ than it is now and contained more sex talking. It was not successful at all, but Chuck Lorre and Bill Prady, the creators of the show, got a second chance and knew how to use it. The second pilot was not just good, it was awesome and caused a really big bang afterwards. But just after only 8 episodes there was the writer’s strike at the end of 2007 and therefore the show’s future was uncertain. So they had to break through another obstacle. They still haven’t given up and that’s why it was the first show on which was worked after the strike. They simply still believed in the show, believed in their dream, fought for it and, as you now know, it worked.

So if you believe, if you work hard and do the best you can, you will find a solution, you will find a way to reach your goals. It can be hard, but if you won’t fight, you have already lost and then you can only read: Game over.

Lonely in the crowd

I am walking down the path, don’t feel anyone next to me, don’t see anybody. It feels so freaking cold, I can’t describe it. I wanna go out, wanna leave this place. Where am I? How have I come here and how can I leave?

Well, the thing is: I can’t. The other thing is: I'm not alone. No matter where I go to, I’ll always find someone. Sometimes I need more time to be able to see him or her, but there is someone. I know it, I feel it - yet I do. You have to believe me. You are never alone.

You might know ‘footprints in the sand’ – if not, I posted it below this entry. It is one of my fave texts that I’ve ever read. I have framed that and hung it up next to my room, and every time I walk across it, I read the lines and I always get tears in my eyes. This is so beautiful and so true.

In our world not everything is easy. Sometimes we feel lonely. I had such a tough time one year ago. It took a while till I found back to what I love – you can read about it by clicking on the ‘My story’ tab of my blog, and go to 'When I started my blog'. Back then I thought I had nobody to talk to, nothing that I did made any sense to me. In some way I knew that I was surrounded by my family and friends, who would help me and take care of me, but I felt lonely anyway.

We are 7 billion people in this world. Such a very big crowd. So how can it be possible that someone feels lonely? We might haven’t the strength to talk about what is bothering us, sometimes we simply don’t know ourselves. I was lucky to be able to see again. I now know that you can’t see everything that is existing with your eyes. You have to see them with your heart and then you will understand that though you feel lonely or left alone, you’ll never be.

PS: Leona Lewis made a song in which she sings about it. I really love that song, even though I haven't found the original version of it on youtube. Just listen to the lyrics ;)

Where home is

I have spent some time abroad, on Grand Canary, and I really enjoyed it. That's also the reason why I didn't blog that much within the last few weeks. For me it was the first time I spent on the island. The view from my room was amazing and I wished I could have taken it with me, but unfortunately it didn't fit into my suitcase :(
On the first day someone from the travel agency told us a bit about the Spanish island. I was mostly astonished about the fact that it hasn't rained since May last year. Where I live it's normal that it rains almost every week (not now, because I have at least taken the heat with me).

the view from my hotel room - could be worse, right? -kidding ;)

Every day was warm, and even it was sometimes a bit cloudy, it never rained and though it was windy at the beach, it had never been cold. The temperature was constantly about 85 degrees - so I was totally happy because I love it when it's warm and sunny like that. My family and I rented a car and explored the isle. We saw some harbors, cities, and lots of mountains. It was really impressive, and we also met lots of friendly people. I am not that person who finds it easily to just go to someone I've never met before and have a chat, but the few I spoke with, were very kind. Of course we spent a day at the beach, too. Not that many because I am very pale, and when there was one thing I didn't want to bring home was a sunburn. Luckily I didn't ;).

no it's not Egypt - it's Grand Canary - just a big sand box ;)

But for some reason, as much as I always look forward spending some time abroad, to sit on a plane (though I don't understand why so many people applaud after landing - I mean no one claps his/her hands after I've done my work well), and fly far away from home, I am also always happy when I am back home again. Mostly I'm already happy when we drive through the city I was born. But this time, it was the first that I felt nothing. When we sat on the bus back to the airport, it just felt for me like we're making another trip. And now, that I am home again, I felt like I haven't been abroad - though I have all the memories about what we did, what we saw.

like taken from a movie - the mountains of Grand Canary

Do you know what I mean? Maybe it was because it was only a week, maybe because it was the first time after 4 years that I saw a beach and palm trees again. Maybe I felt that it wasn't time to go back home. Can this be possible? Or that I feel that the place I was born is no longer my home? Can this change? I still live with my parents, and I wanna have my own place, but as I don't earn any money right now - but start to look for some writing jobs to get at least a bit money - I simply can't move. When I have finished my basic studies I hope I can do my internship semester somewhere within the US. I hope that I can convince my friend to go next year with me to Los Angeles, visting my relatives and finding out if I really can imagine living there.

Do you still feel at home where you was born or has this changed? Can the definition of home change? Is home always where you come from, or where you feel currently happy?
I guess it's the place where you love to be, spending most of your time, where you have your friends. I think as we all change, our safe place can change, too. I will never forget where I come from, and it could be that I will miss it once when I spent too much time far away. Of course I have my family here, and that will be hard when I can't see them daily anymore, but I guess I have reached a point in my life when I wanna start and live my own life.

The way I am

You probably have met people in your life and recognized that they weren’t just that nice and friendly as they seemed to be in the beginning. When someone talks bad behind your back about you, it’s not quite easy to deal with such a thing. So what are you doing? Just going to that person and say he or she should stop saying such mean things about you? Would you even dare to do that?

People judge, they complain, they try to find a way to make someone else bad. Maybe to distract attention from their own mistakes which they try to hide. I have seen it pretty often while I was working in an office. You can do so many things good and one single thing wrong and what will be seen by the boss? Right: the wrong one. So even when you do 99 % right - no one talks about that, it is assumed that you do it all correctly. But when it comes to the 1 % you did wrong, the boss will only talk about that and only see that.

when people talk bad about you, you sometimes just wanna hide

The same when you are not that good as anyone else. Maybe you were taught to act differently in a situation or you have a disability that you try to hide or you made an experience that changed your mind and attitude on something. So you might handle a situation differently than your boss expect but no one would ever care. No one is interested in why you are different, everyone sees that someone else can do it, so why not you?

Everyone is challenged in life, mostly in the working world. It is a tough place, you have to fight hard when you wanna survive. You can only do that when you know what you can do best, when you know about your strengths but as well as about your weaknesses. You have to turn your weakness into a strength, or at least convince the others that it is not a weakness. That will make you stronger.

Some guys wanna see you perfect? No, they just don’t want you to be better, so they have to make you bad. But you can strike back - be who you are, know more about you than anyone else. Someone is maybe better than you in something, but worse in something else, and that’s what you try to find. Not to blame the others for that, but prove that you are special and absolutely essential.

Not only a fence to share

Some neighbors only share their fence, but we shared everything. -Susan Delfino on the serie's finale of Desperate Housewives

How fast can eight years pass? The answer: incredibly fast. Even though none of the guys will ever read this, I really wanna thank Marc Cherry for creating such a wonderful show. I honestly will miss Bree, Gaby, Susan and Lynette. How great was the time with these ladies on Wisteria Lane? Since that show, I know that we are all actors in this life. We do our best to hide our darkest secrets, we pretend to be perfect, even if we are not. There are only a very few in our life, we let know everything about us - but really everything? Certainly not.

Not our closest friends really know everything. We all have our role in this life. No matter if we are the perfect housewife with her best behavior, her well-educated kids, and her wonderful husband. Or the manager who has everything under control: the job, the husband, the kids. The one who is simply beautiful, has nothing to do but her husband earns lots of money that she can have such an easy-going life. Or the one showing her feelings, who can't lie and might cares the less of what others think about her. Or she just ignores that, or at least tries to do that. We now know, that these four are not just like that.

Four very different girls who lived on the same street. Neigbors came, neighbors went. And they all had secrets. In the last ep, when we saw who moved into Susan's house, also this girl has a secret - one we might never find out. She pondered that it could be boring in the suburbs but Susan replied that it's anything else than that. Okay the stories were a bit far-fetched, we all have to admit that so much never happens on one single street. But what makes us sure of that? How much do we really know about our neighbors?

Do you talk to them? Are they your friends or are neighbors just neighbors? What do they know about us? What do we tell them? What do we want them to know, to believe? Are they supposed to know everything? Yes, some neighbors only share their fence, most of them. I have learned a lot from Desperate Housewives. About life, about family, about friends. I love the way Mary Alice told us about her friends after she passed away. It's sad that they all drifted apart in the end - maybe not Lynette and Susan as they have the same grandchild - but it's true. I also lost good friends, when they moved away. Some did not move but changed a lot.

This is the first Sunday without an new episode of Desperate Housewives. One of many to come. The path we walked together is over. It was a great time, I will miss it in some way, but I am also happy that this show was part of my life. Open your eyes to your neighbors, you don't want them to be your enemies. Life is right around the corner, only a fence away. A neighborhood, no matter where it is, is, when you look closely, anything else than boring.

The significance of blaming

In our life everything and everyone has to be perfect. The look, the behavior, just everything. And when it comes to some wrinkles, we do everything to make them less visible, using various of cremes. Okay especially the women do this, but there are also more and more men who take care of their look.

Surrounded by perfection we all try to do our best to fit into this eternal youth. Isn’t it there sometimes better not to pretend but simply be? I mean, just to be yourself even if you blame yourself. If you do a mistake and don’t try to hide it, doesn’t this make you more human?

We should not convince ourself to be what we aren’t. The real world is not Hollywood. We need real human beings in our life, we aren’t that embarrassed when we see others can make mistakes, too, and laugh about it. That encourages us to be what we are - no robots, no machines, and not perfect.

Don’t be mad at yourself when you do something and try to pretend it didn’t happen. Just smile, admit you made something that wasn’t planned that way. Everyone will laugh for a moment, and it’s okay. They see you are strong enough being yourself.