Life's beauty

Sometimes life can be pretty tough. Things change, people leave, things don't work out the way they should. I am sure everyone gets into such situations from time to time. I have been there, too. When I was a kid I kept asking myself why so many persons I love, had to leave me? All my friends went to weddings and christenings, but I had to go to funerals. And I still wonder sometimes, if I bring some kind of misfortune to my loved ones?

This jellyfish looks like our planet Earth and
symbolizes life's beauty.
pic by Steve Jurvetson

Life comes and goes. I have learned that. And it was not only once that I had the wish to live in a perfectly harmonious world. Like shown on TV. I have never had a group of friends who were like my second family and I could share everything with. Or that I met the same guys daily. I only met one friend daily, now it became monthly, and sometimes not even that works out, due to work and that she is already married and has the cutest daughter on earth.

So seeing my friends only a couple of times a year, and that they all don't really know each other coz I met them in different places of my life, I sometimes wish to be back at school. Back to the times when you didn't have to worry bout money, your future or even the next day. You never thought of anything but just lived day after day.

In one of the latest Simpsons episode Homer wanted to live in Lego world, a place where his kids never get old, no one gets hurt and nothing ever changes. And in season 7 finale of The Big Bang Theory Sheldon deals with too much change in his life, too. He runs away, probably like many would love to. But is this the right way to deal with problems? Homer figured out that time with his kids is limited and exactly that makes it special. They will always love him but keep growing too.

Change frightens everyone. We love to do things we got used to, things we know quite well. When it comes to new things, we start analyzing. We wanna figure out the risks, what could happen. And we all feel more comfortable in things that had always been this way. But would it be really good being a kid again, going to school? I would miss many people in my life that I wouldn't have met if I ever stayed that young. Experiences you cannot make. Life is not always easy, as bad as it can be, never close your eyes for the good things too. I am sure there is much in your life that you are proud of. Focus on that. And don't forget:

it is not important what but who you have in your life.  

My current fave German song is about life, its beauty and everything that is still ahead of you and me. Future can be scary, but should not be. If everything stays the same, would this really be a life worth living?

Eurovision Song Contest sets political statement

Yesterday Conchita Wurst from Austria won the Eurovision Song Contest, a huge music celebration in Europe. Once a year every country can send an artist to represent her country at the Song Contest. It gives everyone the chance to hear music they might never heard otherwise. Winning this competition in 1976 was huge for Abba, because afterwards they had an amazing and very successful career. Their songs are still heard and they are some sort of role models for everyone taking part these days.

We are like ballons - colorful and unique
and wanna be free.
pic by gwaar

But it is not only about the music anymore. Sure, music connects people. They can sing in their own language, and you don't have to understand every word to understand what they sing about. The Eurovision Song Contest unites Europe in the most positive way. And this year it also sets a political statement.

The winner comes from Austria and is a guy, dressed like a girl but having a beard. His actual name is Thomas Neuwirth, who is an Austrian singer and drag artist. What looks strange at first has a good reason why he does it like that. Because it doesn't matter the way you look or who you are, as long as you simply be yourself.

He has called himself Conchita Wurst, because there is a German saying that goes "es ist wurst" which means "it doesn't matter". So what does it mean that he/she won this? That it is okay to be you, and you will be loved for being who you are. There will always be people who try to put you down. But if there is anyone out there calling you ugly, she will be the ugly one. Because ugly is an attitude, it's someone who doesn't want to accept other people but are only self-centered.

Everyone is beautiful. Your beauty lies within you. 

When I ask people who they think is beautiful they always name girls like Heidi Klum or any other top model (I don't really know many models because i don't like that business that reduces everyone to her looks). Actually I always wonder why people mostly care about someone's eyes or body or whatever. It is when I read magazines or some forums on the internet and the same people discuss the same things over and over again. No matter what is on TV, it is mostly about how someone's dressed and looked instead of writing about what she said. That must be the reason some "celebrities" like the Kardashians exist in the media.

Why did we become people who mostly care about the hair, makeup, body, etc and also drive ourselves crazy by thinking we aren't perfect the way we are? Why do we reduce people to how they look? Imagine the show "The voice" was real life, and you only hear a person's voice, and then think about if you wanna get to know her or not, and after that decision you see her face, would you think differently about her than just seeing her? The character of a person is much more important. But no one sees anyone's character. The clothes you wear, gives strangers a first impression of who you might be. She then thinks of other guys she met who looked similar than you and so put you into some sort of box. It is based on our experience what we see in people. It is caused by evolution and good to prevent us from people who could harm us. But it also can let us being prejudiced against some people, when there is no reason to be. We only see what we wanna see and close our eyes for what is really there.

Have a look at the video below. Maybe close your eyes and just listen to Conchita's voice and then watch her. The eyes are the biggest liars, we can see more clearly with our heart. So back to her winning the ESC yesterday: Europe accepts people no matter what. And that is good. Because if there is one thing we all want, it's freedom. And how do we become free? When we get the chance to be who we are and being accepted for that. And this makes someone really beautiful: when she dares to be herself and also accepts and respects others for being who they are.

Be brave, be yourself

Last week the former German soccer player Thomas Hitzlsperger had his coming out. He waited until his soccer career was over, because he was told to do so. This leaves me with the question, why some people still treat gays differently, most of all when it comes to sports men. I am sure there are football or soccer or basketball player out there, who were told to keep their mouth shut about the truth. Because there are fans who think these sports are "manly" and so there is no room for gays. But what gives them this impression? There are many men out there who have a completely normal life, and are definitely not less manly than straight guys. I guess these prejudices are caused by people who overdress, who love dresses, and lots of jewelry and sparkling pink stuff. There are a few of these man out there who just love that style. It's not wrong, it's just how they express themselves and show who they are. But exactly this might cause what most people think of gays: they are all like that, sparkling and girly.

Love will guide us.
pic by Kasia

When Hitzlsperger revealed last week that he is gay, lots of people couldn't believe it. They said that he always seemed like a "real man". Ouch! Luckily there were also lots of supportive guys out there, who said it's a good thing that he finally came out. Some even said it's brave. I wonder, why do gays even have to come out? Why can't they just live a normal life, everyone can see their partner and is okay with it. I mean, straight guys don't have to come out, so when gays have to, there it already starts that they are treated differently. This also leads that some even fake a relationship or even marriage with a woman (these women get paid for that!), because the men are afraid someone might figure it out, that they actually love men and that they might lose their job because of that.

I like that lots has changed in the past years and for some people, like actors, it mostly doesn't affect their career at all when they reveal being homosexual. Their fans love them for who they are. And I also like people who dare to be themselves. We live in a society where we learned how to fit in. We all wanna be individuals; but are we? We learned what is "normal", which just says what's average. So average is the definition of normality - at least for most people. We grew up, we were told how to behave. And who hasn't heard her parents not only once saying "Behave yourself", back when she was a kid?
And do you know one fairytale in which a man falls in love with another man? No, it's always about the Princess and her Prince. At school we try even harder to fit in a group, we don't wanna be left out. So we learn how to fit in even better. That is the main problem. We learn to do what other, mostly older people tell us to do, without questioning. The older people sure have more experience and therefore know what they say, but maybe a young person can come to a better solution because she is not stuck in the rut. She has a fresh, new point of view, and maybe that can help too.

Older people can be right, but so can young people. I think if someone really wanna be a free, independent and individual person, she has to be interested, not only in herself but also in others. Try to understand them, try to think how they think, and try to find a solution that everyone can be who (s)he is without being afraid.

Love has no limits, no one can live without love!
pic by D. Sharon Pruitt 

This whole story and discussion about Thomas Hitzlsperger lets me think of running a campaign and naming it "Be brave, be yourself". Most of all when it comes to sports, it's still a big deal. I read that even friends told Hitzlsperger to not come out during his career. They were afraid, and I guess so are many sports men and their friends, that the fans start to hate them, don't support them anymore. So what can be done, that even there gay men will be accepted and treated equally? That is what I wanna reach with this campaign and I'm happy for everyone joining the team, giving information or ideas to let this work.

I was actually shocked when I heard a man telling his story. He grew up in Latin America and there, back in the 80s, the people thought it's better to have a criminal than a gay son, so he could not even tell his own parents. Because not only the gays were treated differently but also the entire family. I am glad that these times have changed and like I said many people accept it - that's the way it should be. Well I don't know how it is in Latin America now and I know there are still countries that have a long way till they finally understand that love has no limits. Love is what keeps us alive, as long as we have love in our lives, we are actually living!

I hope that one day, everyone will respect others. We don't wanna be left out, because of who we are. No one wants someone else to tell them how or who to love. "Be brave, be yourself". You have to learn how to be yourself, and not how others to like you. Life is not about who fits in the best, it's the one who dares to be who (s)he is!!!

Being perfectly me

Last Friday Oct 18, Jim Parsons and Todd Spiewak won the Inspiration Award at the GLSEN Respect Awards in LA. GLSEN is a Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network. The Big Bang Theory star and his partner seemed to be surprised that, like they called it "boring lives", inspire others. They might live in Hollywood but they seem to have a very normal life when Jim spoke about them having coffee in the morning, doing the laundry and taking their two dogs for a walk. But exactly that is something inspiring. When I grew up I learned that is not important to be rich, it's important to be happy. Sure Jim is blessed with both, and as much as he appreciates the success of the show he's part of, he even more appreciates what he shares with Todd. 

As an actor you have to be one guy today and a total different one the other day. Even people who don't see themselves as actors, do act sometimes. And some even get lost in their self-created characters. This is what happened to Lady Gaga. When I read in an interview that she wants even her mother to call her like that, and not Stefani, her real name, anymore, I was truly shocked. I mean I love her music, do doubt, but in my mind she's overdoing it too often. She is seeking for the spotlight, she wants to be seen all the time. When you look at some old pictures of her, she seemed to be a shy girl, quite the opposite she is right now. But what makes people to change so much? 

Show everyone around you all your colors.
Their mixture makes you special, makes you who you are.

I am far away from being perfect. I am not a Lady Gaga who wants to be in the spotlight. My parents taught me to be humble, to appreciate the little things in life. When two or more people talk, I can't just join the conversation. I only do it when I am asked directly. It's just something that I learned. I don't wanna bother anyone. Sure I sometimes have the wish that my life should be more exciting. But the longer I think about that wish, the more I realize that it already is exciting. I have a wonderful family and amazing friends who never left my side. What is more important than that? It's nothing that I can take for granted. I love to go to college, I love to see my fellow students. When I think back, everything I did the past 25 years of my life, I would do it all again the same way if I could relive it.

Lady Gaga didn't seem to be happy with her life. As much as I love to create characters and to tell stories, I never wanted to become an actress. People would know when I'm acting. That makes me even more fascinated by guys who can do that, like Jim. But he knows when he is acting. Some others not. We girls put on some makeup before we leave our homes, but we don't put on new faces. Lady Gaga wants to do everything to be seen, she wants everyone to talk about her. She lives like she's the sun in her own solar system. She is the big star. No matter where in the solar system you are, you have to see her. But I wonder what might happen if she becomes a white dwarf. Being always on the top is a very tough job. She is a fighter, that's for sure, but could she handle it to not be seen anymore and become again who she once was?

We are who we are, because of the people we are with. 

Stefani Germanotta didn't like what she saw when she looked in the mirror every morning. So she created a new person: Lady Gaga. But the fact she wasn't happy helped her to become what she is now: happy. And that's the most important thing. Do what feels right for you to do, be who you are. Some people might try to hide themselves, so they try to pretend to be someone else. We are changing all the time. When we grow up we don't see any change because it's a slowly process, but people who don't see us every day say something like: you grew a lot since last time I saw you.

As adults we still grow every day, but on the inside. At some point we put it on the outside too. No one wants to be the same his entire life. We need to be challenged, but over all we need to be who we are, ourselves. When I look in the mirror, I am happy. I am no Hollywood star, I'm not a famous actress or singer. But that's not what I want to be. I also don't see perfection, I do have my issues, but these make me just me. All my memories, all the decisions I made, all the people I have in my life, they all help me to just be me. And that's also something Jim Parsons said in his acceptance speech last Friday in LA at GLSEN Awards too. "...We (Jim + Todd) are both surrounded by so many people who make our lives better and easier, friends we've had for many years and friends we've made since living in L.A."

Live your life. Maybe you think it's boring, but it's your life and when you don't live it who does? Everyone can inspire other people when he dares to be himself and don't try to act, not try to hide behind a self-created character. I love to write and I love to tell stories, but I mostly love to tell my story. Here on this blog I do that, not as often as one year ago, but I still love to tell you guys new chapters now and then and what's going on in my mind. Inspiration comes from being you. So what do you see when you look in the mirror? Does it reflect yourself?

Things I never did...

... will always remain things I never really knew.

Do you have New Year's resolutions? I do. And there was only one I had for 2012 and didn't do, and that will be the one that I'll definitely do as soon as possible. A new year is often seen as a new chance to change things, some see it as some kind of motivation. People wanna do more sports or quit smoking. I guess these two are the all time faves of many people. And I should do more sports, too, so it's also one of my plans for next year.

But there is so much more out there. Why not trying something completely new? There is a world out there, offering so much, way more than we are aware of. So much stuff that I haven't dared to do, like bungee jumping, because I'm just too scared. I have acrophobia, not when I'm on a plane, or I feel safe like standing on a high building with a secure handrail, but when I don't feel safe, ohh my. This is why I can't spend a night in a tree house, or walk on a pendant bridge. And the next thing why I'll probably not do bungee jump would be the free fall, to lose the ground and just fall. And hoping that the rope won't break. But I guess if I could overcome my fear, I might like it, but if I don't try I'll never know for sure.

So that's one of my resolutions: overcome my fears. Fears are good to have and they keep us from doing mistakes or something we might regret one day, but it also feels good after you did something the first time. It made you proud, proud of yourself that you made it. I don't say you all should go bungee jumping, but thinking of something you never did and just do it. There are so many things out there. Maybe you read about something you never heard of before, or someone told you about it - it's always best to do something with your partner or a friend. Be curious, don't only do things you used to do all your life, try something new. Maybe you think you don't like it, maybe you are afraid to fail, to lose your stability, to come out of your comfort zone, but it's worth a try.

New Year gives the chance to change something. To have the will to do it. One of my fave quotes this year was from the sitcom Ben and Kate. I also tweeted that in November because it is so true:

"You need to go out there and try stuff. And don't worry about not succeeding because trying is succeeding."

I had a really great 2012, and I hope you also have great memories. I still can't believe that it's already over, because it seems to me it just started. I thank you all for stopping by, commenting and sharing some of your time reading my posts. This means a lot to me!!! And no matter if you have New Year's Resolutions or not, I wish you all a wonderful 2013!!!

As this is the last post in my first blogging year, I'd like to share with you my fave song from the musical Sister Act which I watched last Saturday and absolutely loved it. When I was looking for just the song on youtube yesterday, I found that someone filmed that scene. Great voices and wonderful lyrics.

Happy 2013 my Blogger friends!!!!

The grown-up simulation

Kids want to become an adult as quickly as possible. But what when they are one? When they reach a point in life and want to be a kid again? Having such an easy-going life, a huge fantasy in which everything can happen. What a peaceful world. They don't have responsibility for anything, they just live and every single day is a new adventure. Children play the whole day, they get a register and play bank teller. And the next day they are a doctor. Kids can be whatever they want, whenever they want it. Isn't that great? And their parents protect them no matter what they do.

It's great to be a kid, but so often we want the opposite of what we have, of what we are. So a kid wants to have more rights, makes her own decisions, and doesn't want to hear stuff like "this is a grown-up talk, go playing". I heard that when I was a kid, mostly when we visited my grandma once a week. So my mom wanted to talk to her mom, which I can understand now, but back then... Well, when you are a kid, you have to be the number 1. You want your family to go where you want to go, you want to talk with them about your favorite topics and play with them when and what you want. But one day you'll realize, life is not only about you.

When I started to watch The Big Bang Theory about 1 1/2 years ago, and saw some videos on youtube afterwards, I could not understand why so many guys like Sheldon. He seemed to me the weirdest person of them all. But after I saw Jim doing interviews, I started to like him and so I kept focusing on Sheldon. I still see Jim in him, and so I like him now too, but I think people like Sheldon for what he is. Just himself. He is like a kid, who loves to play and who loves to be the number 1. And to be honest: who doesn't like that?

The thing is when we get older, we try to fit in, like to a group of people. We want to be liked by others, and because they are not our parents of who we can be sure that they like is no matter what we do, say or how we look like, we start acting. But sometimes when we act too much, we can lose ourselves in it. And this is when we stop being who we really are. The best thing of being a kid is, being simply yourself. They do not care that much what others think about them, because they know one thing certainly, and that is the only thing that really matters: my parents will love me.

Acting the whole time can be exhausting. It's a hard job, but we want to fit into the society, and so we go out, every single day, not playing, but acting. Life is a play, the stage is everywhere we go and we are the protagonists of our own play, doing our best that the audience, the people around us, like what they see. That they want to get in touch with us, maybe even work with us. We want to be loved, and think the more people love us the better. You can see that on Twitter or Facebook. When kids grow older and become teenagers they mostly think they are only great when the have thousands of followers or friends. But is that amount important? Does this mean I am not likeable only because I don't have as many followers as Lady Gaga?

Even Sheldon is growing up now, realizing that a relationship is between two people, and both are important. Life is not about one person. We all need each other. We can't expect people to like us, when we don't show that these guys are important to us, too. We want to be their number 1, and they want to be our number 1, it's all about give and take. And isn't it great to take care of someone you love? No matter how far his relationship will go, he will always stay Sheldon. A man who loves to play, to might do some stuff of which some other guy might say it's odd. But who cares? The people who are important will like him anyway, for just the way he is. That he dares to be himself.

I'll always be on your side

We need to grow up, to get through life, but we should also keep our childish side. We shouldn't stop playing, we should allow us to do sometimes some childish things, and think less about what others could think about us. You can act, and when someone's not liking you, just say you acted the wrong way, but it's braver to act who you really are. People who don't like you then, aren't worth to be part of your life. Because it's not important how many people like you, it's important that you are liked by the persons you love. And the ones who really love you, like your family and friends, love you the way you are, and not what you try to pretend to be.

Best example for never giving up

You have goals in life? That is good because you need them, to encourage you reaching something in your life. You don’t wanna say, when you have to leave these amazing world one day, that you haven’t done everything what you wanted to, do you? Goals are important, you should always have some and fight for it. Never give up. It is never easy, so many obstacles come up all along the way. But it is like a computer game you want to finish: you wanna accomplish the mission as best as you can that you can go forward in the game.

The real life is not different, except that you sometimes get lazy and tired of working because you think you always fail, and so you reach a point and just stop. When everything went wrong, you don’t see any future. But maybe you have to look differently at it and if you look closer you will find another way for reaching your goal and making your dreams come true. There is never just one way and one right solution. It is not maths, it’s not an equation - life is life and much more complicated than simply putting it into numbers.

Think about it as a picture you wanna draw: you can use different pencils, different ways to draw it and different colors. One picture can show the same thing but it will always look differently. When you write an exam at school or a story about a chosen topic and some other guy has the same job to do, well, the result won’t be exactly the same.

Rare and special, like a dream: a double rainbow

Life can be hard but if it would be all so easy, you have to admit that, it would be boring. You would never play a video game, read a book or watch a movie or TV show without having a good story, would you? You need challenges because these make you stronger, let you learn new things, and in the end, when you are successful, everyone will be proud of you. Mostly you. The more challenges you have been faced with, the prouder will you be. Your dreams can come true.

The best example for never giving up - or a pretty good one - is the Big Bang Theory. You all know the show and how successful it is all over the world, but do you also know the start of it? The way it all began? The first pilot of 2006 had different characters like nowadays (Katie and Gilda), the set was more ‘dark’ than it is now and contained more sex talking. It was not successful at all, but Chuck Lorre and Bill Prady, the creators of the show, got a second chance and knew how to use it. The second pilot was not just good, it was awesome and caused a really big bang afterwards. But just after only 8 episodes there was the writer’s strike at the end of 2007 and therefore the show’s future was uncertain. So they had to break through another obstacle. They still haven’t given up and that’s why it was the first show on which was worked after the strike. They simply still believed in the show, believed in their dream, fought for it and, as you now know, it worked.

So if you believe, if you work hard and do the best you can, you will find a solution, you will find a way to reach your goals. It can be hard, but if you won’t fight, you have already lost and then you can only read: Game over.

Two worlds

What is the most important thing in our life? Right: love. Nothing is more important than love because love made and makes us. There is not only one definition for love, one sentence can’t put in words what exactly it is. And that’s good. Because love is not just about a man and a woman, love is also the friendship between two people, the love for our parents, our kids. Even hate is some sort of love.

Everything started with love, our life started with love. The more love we receive, the more we can give and the happier we are. Love is free, like we are. We can choose who we love, what we love to wear, to eat, to drink, to see, to listen to. Love is what makes us, what surrounds us. We can show other people that we love them, and that’s what makes us stronger. Together we can reach so much more than on our own. We shouldn’t fight against each other, we need each other and we all have to know, that life is a precious gift that can be over way too soon and most when we least expect it. But when we live together, our weakness can become a strength, two people can do more things than a single person.

Besides love we also need freedom. Freedom for being ourselves. We don’t want to act, pretend to be someone else, we shouldn’t have to lie because we are afraid people wouldn’t like us the way we are. We want to be loved, we want to be expected, but we don’t wanna hide. We want to live the way we love to. No one should be judged about what or who they love or how they’re dressed. We should not lie, that’s in the Bible. But wouldn’t it be a lived lie, if we change the way we are, only that we get accepted?

When two worlds collide, that’s the start of a song by Amy MacDonald. These two worlds can be a mother and her child, a man and a woman, two men or women who love each other, brothers and sisters. They show their love, they change their life, become part of each other’s. The people who are close to us, the people we meet in life, these are the people who inspire us, who let us grow and makes us the persons we are right now.

And I believe that, when one day the time will come, and I have to close my eyes forever, that I won’t be completely gone. As long as the people I know and love, will keep on thinking about me. Because love is life. Love can’t be described with words. It has the power to survive everything. Because love has the freedom to be immortal and infinite.

Where home is

I have spent some time abroad, on Grand Canary, and I really enjoyed it. That's also the reason why I didn't blog that much within the last few weeks. For me it was the first time I spent on the island. The view from my room was amazing and I wished I could have taken it with me, but unfortunately it didn't fit into my suitcase :(
On the first day someone from the travel agency told us a bit about the Spanish island. I was mostly astonished about the fact that it hasn't rained since May last year. Where I live it's normal that it rains almost every week (not now, because I have at least taken the heat with me).

the view from my hotel room - could be worse, right? -kidding ;)

Every day was warm, and even it was sometimes a bit cloudy, it never rained and though it was windy at the beach, it had never been cold. The temperature was constantly about 85 degrees - so I was totally happy because I love it when it's warm and sunny like that. My family and I rented a car and explored the isle. We saw some harbors, cities, and lots of mountains. It was really impressive, and we also met lots of friendly people. I am not that person who finds it easily to just go to someone I've never met before and have a chat, but the few I spoke with, were very kind. Of course we spent a day at the beach, too. Not that many because I am very pale, and when there was one thing I didn't want to bring home was a sunburn. Luckily I didn't ;).

no it's not Egypt - it's Grand Canary - just a big sand box ;)

But for some reason, as much as I always look forward spending some time abroad, to sit on a plane (though I don't understand why so many people applaud after landing - I mean no one claps his/her hands after I've done my work well), and fly far away from home, I am also always happy when I am back home again. Mostly I'm already happy when we drive through the city I was born. But this time, it was the first that I felt nothing. When we sat on the bus back to the airport, it just felt for me like we're making another trip. And now, that I am home again, I felt like I haven't been abroad - though I have all the memories about what we did, what we saw.

like taken from a movie - the mountains of Grand Canary

Do you know what I mean? Maybe it was because it was only a week, maybe because it was the first time after 4 years that I saw a beach and palm trees again. Maybe I felt that it wasn't time to go back home. Can this be possible? Or that I feel that the place I was born is no longer my home? Can this change? I still live with my parents, and I wanna have my own place, but as I don't earn any money right now - but start to look for some writing jobs to get at least a bit money - I simply can't move. When I have finished my basic studies I hope I can do my internship semester somewhere within the US. I hope that I can convince my friend to go next year with me to Los Angeles, visting my relatives and finding out if I really can imagine living there.

Do you still feel at home where you was born or has this changed? Can the definition of home change? Is home always where you come from, or where you feel currently happy?
I guess it's the place where you love to be, spending most of your time, where you have your friends. I think as we all change, our safe place can change, too. I will never forget where I come from, and it could be that I will miss it once when I spent too much time far away. Of course I have my family here, and that will be hard when I can't see them daily anymore, but I guess I have reached a point in my life when I wanna start and live my own life.

The way I am

You probably have met people in your life and recognized that they weren’t just that nice and friendly as they seemed to be in the beginning. When someone talks bad behind your back about you, it’s not quite easy to deal with such a thing. So what are you doing? Just going to that person and say he or she should stop saying such mean things about you? Would you even dare to do that?

People judge, they complain, they try to find a way to make someone else bad. Maybe to distract attention from their own mistakes which they try to hide. I have seen it pretty often while I was working in an office. You can do so many things good and one single thing wrong and what will be seen by the boss? Right: the wrong one. So even when you do 99 % right - no one talks about that, it is assumed that you do it all correctly. But when it comes to the 1 % you did wrong, the boss will only talk about that and only see that.

when people talk bad about you, you sometimes just wanna hide

The same when you are not that good as anyone else. Maybe you were taught to act differently in a situation or you have a disability that you try to hide or you made an experience that changed your mind and attitude on something. So you might handle a situation differently than your boss expect but no one would ever care. No one is interested in why you are different, everyone sees that someone else can do it, so why not you?

Everyone is challenged in life, mostly in the working world. It is a tough place, you have to fight hard when you wanna survive. You can only do that when you know what you can do best, when you know about your strengths but as well as about your weaknesses. You have to turn your weakness into a strength, or at least convince the others that it is not a weakness. That will make you stronger.

Some guys wanna see you perfect? No, they just don’t want you to be better, so they have to make you bad. But you can strike back - be who you are, know more about you than anyone else. Someone is maybe better than you in something, but worse in something else, and that’s what you try to find. Not to blame the others for that, but prove that you are special and absolutely essential.

Independent liberty

Today is the 4th of July - Independence Day. This is a big day for all the Americans on which they celebrate their independence. This let me think about the word itself. What does it mean to be free? Am I free? I mean not only Americans want to gain independent. We all want to be free. But are we actually?

A lot of things have changed in the past years, decades and centuries. And I have to admit that I am very grateful that I live these days than some years ago. Not just that women are not only housewives anymore, that they are also allowed now to do almost as much as men do. There are still some differences, e.g. in the payment, but most of all the two genders are equal.

I also like that people can be who they are. I mean in the Bible we can read that every person is the same and should be respected by the way he or she is and so do also respect others. This was long time ago a big problem and I guess for some guys it still is. If someone is a bit different or not like the average, people judge them for being not normal. Like some days ago when I have seen these Oreo pictures - thanks to Chris Whiting who tweeted that - and the comments of some people about it. Some really wrote just silly stuff which reminds me of how life would like have been some years ago. But in my mind we are civilized now, and I can’t imagine why some people still make such a big deal of something like that.

Every person is free to choose who they love. Of course it’s crazy to think about marrying a manga figure (manga = japanese comic book). I actually read an article on the internet about that some months ago. A grown up Japanese man wanted to marry his favorite manga character. That’s really overdone. But as long as you love another human being - I think it doesn’t matter how old he/she is (of course not an adult and a child, but I guess you know what I mean) or what gender he/she is - everything's fine. Love is so much more. Everyone should be free to choose and free to love.

Freedom gives us the opportunity to live the way we want to. Why should we change our life just because we don’t get accepted by other people? Every person lives only once and this life shouldn’t be wasted. Freedom means for me to do the things you like as long as you don’t harm others. Dare to be yourself. Live your life and not the life others want you to have or live because no one knows you better than you do.

What is freedom for you? Do you feel free? How do you celebrate the Fourth of July?


If you're interested, here is the site about the Oreo's: http://www.tickld.com/t/16149

Life's a play

After months on the run, every city becomes a blur. Every disguise takes you one step away from your true self. Finally, you forget who you are. But you never forget who you’re after. And so it begins. 

This was the start of a commercial series, made for Hilary Duff’s clothing line FEMME for DKNY Jeans. This was about three years ago, but I watched it again yesterday, and I still like it. It is a story, something extraordinary. You see this, and the last thing you think about is: this is a commercial, isn’t it? On the website Hilary wrote that with the different characters she played in the seven parts of this mini-series (the vid on my blog is only the first part, the others can be found on youtube), she wanted to showcase the versatility of every woman (Femme is the french word for woman).

It’s a chase. In the last part we saw two cops, who wanted to chase her all the time. In the end, they are really close to her, but did they get her? Well, just watch it and see.

I also like the fact, that we all sometimes feel like being on the run. That someone wants to chase us, but we don’t wanna let that happen. So we change our clothes, try to make an illusion, that no one can find us, no one can unravel our mystery. We wanna stay a mystery, because we wanna be interesting. But the more we disguise, the more we try to hide and pretend to be someone else, we lose ourselves. Life is a play. No curtain falls, but lots of guys are in the audience watching us. Everytime and everywhere. We are the protagonist of our own play. No rehearsals.

Of course it makes fun to be someone else, but only sometimes. When I watched the German musical ‘Linie 1’ in 2008, which is by the way one of the most successful and most performed German theater plays which was also enacted in cities like New York, Paris, Amsterdam, Kalkutta, London and Paris, I still remember one line of it:

Everyone is an actor, but only a very few know that.

It’s on you to think about that. I only wanna add that we don’t have to showcase everything to everyone. Acting is a good thing, but when we are too good and forget who we are, it’s really bad. Everyone has so many different sides and everyone should explore and change and stay curious, but also always find back to himself or herself. That at least you know who you really are.

PS: If you wanna know more about ‘Linie 1’ or Hilary’s clothing line, just write me.

In sync

Everything we do – we never do it alone. Have you ever asked yourself if you do something that another one does the same at the same time? It might sounds odd, but as there live 7 billion people on our planet, why shouldn’t this be possible? I mean I was never good in maths, and I can’t calculate from that information its probability – if you can, please tell me – but I think, things we do often every day and things we do for not just a minute, like sitting in front of the computer or sleeping, we can be sure, that we are never alone doing the same thing at the same time.

Concerning the internet, I am very sure that not just one sits in front of his or her computer when I am it front of mine. Writing on my book, my play, my blog or just spending my time on Twitter. Oh how would that be boring if no one would be on Twitter the same time I am. Or Skype – what a wonderful invention. I can still be in contact with my cousin who lives with her hubby and son on Crete. I can’t see them very often in real life but I can see them on Skype.
The internet is a great place to spend time with and I don’t wanna miss this. I remember the time, when we didn’t have a computer, when I didn’t have a smartphone. I still remember the time when I was at school, nobody knew social media, nobody knew Facebook because it didn't exist and so nobody missed it. But then it came into our lives and what would we do without it?

Being connected – we all are, but the internet gives us the chance to see it. I think there are so many things we do in sync with others – without knowing. We all belong together. We are all social, we are all human beings, we live at the same time, some might be born at the same time – not twins of course, for them it’s impossible to be born at the exactly same time, and some will leave the world together. I guess knowing that, gives me new hope: I am never on my own.

Don't copy - be yourself

Back in school we learned that copying is totally wrong. We have to find our own words, writing our own story. We have to figure out the maths equation without any help and not to look what the one sitting next to us is doing. We have to make everything on our own because we shall learn it.

But copying is in us. I mean I always say I am like a mirror. When someone does anything, I recognise afterwards that I am doing exactly the same. I firstly found out when I noticed myself doing something that I have never done before. I just did it without thinking - unknowingly. Like biting finger nails, or putting my hair over the left shoulder. Nothing really special, and I needed time to find out because I did it, as I already wrote, without noticing. And one day I recognised it and remembered someone else doing it and I asked myself, when I started doing the same.

I had this a couple of times, that I did something, and sometimes I remember the person who does the same, but sometimes I don’t. Mostly I copy things from people I met in real life, but it can also be someone I saw on TV.

Some days ago I had an interesting conversation with someone about it. He read a book about people who do the same as someone else. He likes that because then he can be sure that someone pays attention on you. He gave an example, when one person looks in one direction, and the whole crowd look the same way, even when there is nothing to see. It’s the same with yawning. One yawns and the rest do, too. That is because we all feel connected. Back to the Stone Age, when one was tired, everyone was, so they all slept at the same time.

I think it is interesting to see that we don’t have to copy in some way but it is also in us to copy. We are all connected to each other. We feel closer. Maybe we need time to notice that but I guess we are all unique. We are like a single music instrument. Alone we work okay, but in the group we work better. The more instruments wanna sound like one, the better will be the orchestra.