Being perfectly me

Last Friday Oct 18, Jim Parsons and Todd Spiewak won the Inspiration Award at the GLSEN Respect Awards in LA. GLSEN is a Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network. The Big Bang Theory star and his partner seemed to be surprised that, like they called it "boring lives", inspire others. They might live in Hollywood but they seem to have a very normal life when Jim spoke about them having coffee in the morning, doing the laundry and taking their two dogs for a walk. But exactly that is something inspiring. When I grew up I learned that is not important to be rich, it's important to be happy. Sure Jim is blessed with both, and as much as he appreciates the success of the show he's part of, he even more appreciates what he shares with Todd. 

As an actor you have to be one guy today and a total different one the other day. Even people who don't see themselves as actors, do act sometimes. And some even get lost in their self-created characters. This is what happened to Lady Gaga. When I read in an interview that she wants even her mother to call her like that, and not Stefani, her real name, anymore, I was truly shocked. I mean I love her music, do doubt, but in my mind she's overdoing it too often. She is seeking for the spotlight, she wants to be seen all the time. When you look at some old pictures of her, she seemed to be a shy girl, quite the opposite she is right now. But what makes people to change so much? 

Show everyone around you all your colors.
Their mixture makes you special, makes you who you are.

I am far away from being perfect. I am not a Lady Gaga who wants to be in the spotlight. My parents taught me to be humble, to appreciate the little things in life. When two or more people talk, I can't just join the conversation. I only do it when I am asked directly. It's just something that I learned. I don't wanna bother anyone. Sure I sometimes have the wish that my life should be more exciting. But the longer I think about that wish, the more I realize that it already is exciting. I have a wonderful family and amazing friends who never left my side. What is more important than that? It's nothing that I can take for granted. I love to go to college, I love to see my fellow students. When I think back, everything I did the past 25 years of my life, I would do it all again the same way if I could relive it.

Lady Gaga didn't seem to be happy with her life. As much as I love to create characters and to tell stories, I never wanted to become an actress. People would know when I'm acting. That makes me even more fascinated by guys who can do that, like Jim. But he knows when he is acting. Some others not. We girls put on some makeup before we leave our homes, but we don't put on new faces. Lady Gaga wants to do everything to be seen, she wants everyone to talk about her. She lives like she's the sun in her own solar system. She is the big star. No matter where in the solar system you are, you have to see her. But I wonder what might happen if she becomes a white dwarf. Being always on the top is a very tough job. She is a fighter, that's for sure, but could she handle it to not be seen anymore and become again who she once was?

We are who we are, because of the people we are with. 

Stefani Germanotta didn't like what she saw when she looked in the mirror every morning. So she created a new person: Lady Gaga. But the fact she wasn't happy helped her to become what she is now: happy. And that's the most important thing. Do what feels right for you to do, be who you are. Some people might try to hide themselves, so they try to pretend to be someone else. We are changing all the time. When we grow up we don't see any change because it's a slowly process, but people who don't see us every day say something like: you grew a lot since last time I saw you.

As adults we still grow every day, but on the inside. At some point we put it on the outside too. No one wants to be the same his entire life. We need to be challenged, but over all we need to be who we are, ourselves. When I look in the mirror, I am happy. I am no Hollywood star, I'm not a famous actress or singer. But that's not what I want to be. I also don't see perfection, I do have my issues, but these make me just me. All my memories, all the decisions I made, all the people I have in my life, they all help me to just be me. And that's also something Jim Parsons said in his acceptance speech last Friday in LA at GLSEN Awards too. "...We (Jim + Todd) are both surrounded by so many people who make our lives better and easier, friends we've had for many years and friends we've made since living in L.A."

Live your life. Maybe you think it's boring, but it's your life and when you don't live it who does? Everyone can inspire other people when he dares to be himself and don't try to act, not try to hide behind a self-created character. I love to write and I love to tell stories, but I mostly love to tell my story. Here on this blog I do that, not as often as one year ago, but I still love to tell you guys new chapters now and then and what's going on in my mind. Inspiration comes from being you. So what do you see when you look in the mirror? Does it reflect yourself?

Do all kids love TV?

Kids. They laugh, they run around, they scream, they play. They are anything but quiet, except they are sitting in front of a TV. Sounds familiar?

The TV is for most kids the best friend somehow. They love to spend their time only looking at the screen. Mostly because many parents just need a little break, so they switch on the TV, let it 'take care' of their kids. For many people it's actually the first thing to do in the morning, before they prepare breakfast. Living without it? No way.

So I was thinking how important is TV in our everyday life? How much does it affect and influence us? How would our life be like without TV? And is it possible to have some happy days when we don't have the chance to watch anything on the screen?

I already told you about Aly, my friend's 4-year old daughter. In many ways she lets me think twice about stuff and gives me another point of view. So I decided to talk to my fave little girl. Aly always smiles when she sees me. Last time I visited her she took my hand and guided me into her room. "Come, I wanna show you something", Aly said. Her Mom bought her a puppet theater and she handed me two of her puppets. "You play the prince and his speaking horse and I am the beautiful princess." "So only I have to play a role?", I asked and Aly grinned.

The moments mother and daughter spend together are priceless.
pic by Rolands Lakis

We played a while and then she told me she loves the theater. "It's always different, not like on TV." Many people look at a screen, they all see exactly the same. But when you watch a play, every performance is different. I haven't actually thought about it that way before, so I thank Aly for that. She doesn't really like watching TV much, maybe because her Mom doesn't like it either.

do you prefer to see a play or a TV show?
pic by Diego Torres Silvestre

They prefer to do their own shows - these were the words Aly used. Being only one of 1,000 people isn't that difficult - she clearly doesn't know how many people actually watch a TV show, but that's nothing that matters to get her point - being one of two is something really special. "Only me and my Mom know what we do and I love that", she said.

"People only think in large numbers. But why? Why should that be better?" I couldn't give her a real answer. Why is it better being one of a million than one of two? Sounds more rare, special? But is it really special to know something that everybody knows? When you watch TV it's always the same, that's not close to real life. You can watch the same show twice and nothing changes. But when you watch the same play several times, it's always a bit different.