Welcome new world

Imagine you waited for something and then nothing happened at all. People told you so many things and you were excited, though you were also quite sure that it's more like a fairytale than an actual 'thing'. Anyway, so many talked about it. It was in the newspaper, in magazines, on the TV and radio. Some guys even did a movie about it. So you were waiting, till that day. The big day. Everything will change, nothing will be what it was.

The day is today. But what has changed? When I look outside my window all seems pretty normal. It's cloudy and it rains a bit, but that's all. No flood or storm that is taking everything away. No burning sky. Nothing. Just another day. So what had happened? What was the big change? What did some people expect to happen?

I am not a scientist, though I'm very interested in it, and I never believed in the story. Why should this be the end of the world, of our existence? Only because the Mayan calendar ended today? So this is it: the Mayan Apocalypse. The big end of the world we know. Everyone seemed to be afraid, counting down the days, but it was more or less just like a show. Because people bought tons of Christmas presents, spent lots of money anyway.  And if today would be the last day, we would not have another Christmas anymore. So I guess not really lots of people believed in this.
Maybe it was only something to talk about, a topic for everyone. I mean we all live on this planet, so when it will disappear, we all will disappear, too.

You don't have to be a scientist to know that it's illogical. Why would the world end from one day to the next? Did some people expect another big bang or something? Or are we now just in another universe, or does everything still looks the same but it's not? Is this the end of people fighting against each other, of all the bad stuff that happened? Is it the end of politicians who stop talking and finally start doing something?


Do we want a change? Yes. Do we need it? Yes. Many people realized that. It only makes me sad, that something so bad had to happen. But that change, thinking differently about guns and weapons, started last week. It had nothing to do with the Mayans. Life is what makes, inspires us and let us think differently, and not a calendar. No end can be predicted. And we would be way more frightened when this would be possible. We have to enjoy our life, learn from the mistakes we made. That's how we change. In fact every day is a new chance for a change. Every day can be a new start. The end is not here, but the beginning is. As often as people talked about the apocalypse, it never happened. It can only be predicted in a movie, but we're not in a movie.

Nothing has changed. Today is just another day, another day closer to Christmas. Another beginning. We celebrate Jesus' birth. Then there will be a new year, another start. So when one day passed by, the next will come. That's the only thing we know for sure. And the apocalypse? Well, the end never comes alone, it's always followed by the beginning. So maybe it is today, but when it is, it will also be tomorrow and the day after tomorrow. Just imagine there is an apocalypse, but nobody notices.

Why?

Since last Friday that's the only question I have in my head. Why? I keep asking myself that, but there's no answer. I can't find one. Nothing would explain why this had to happen. There is no explanation for that. I don't have any words for it. What brings someone to do that? To shoot at small children?

This all made me very sad, and all my thoughts and prayers go to the families of the victims. The gunman took 27 lives, and destroyed their families. Kids who will never come back, who will never smile, never play, never laugh again. They died, and big parts of their parents died too. How hard must it be for them? No one can put that into words.

When I firstly read about it on Twitter, I read an article which was about a teacher trying to protect the kids and calm them down when even she was horrified. The kids were frightened, and one said: "I only want to be home for Christmas." And the teacher replied: "You'll all have Christmas and Hanukkah. All will be fine."
That really touched me and I had tears in my eyes.

Christmas is the time people should come together, families come together. We all work the whole year, some do that far away from their parents and families or have to travel a lot, but on Christmas - we are all together. Christmas and also Hanukkah are both holidays that remind us of the good things that happen, holidays of love and joy. I don't want to think about next week, when I think of the families who lost their angels.

So, there's still the question: Why? WHY? A question that is mostly asked by kids, kids who are curious, kids who want to know, want to learn things, to be prepared for life, to have their own life. That's why they go to school. But 20 kids can never ask anymore. 12 girls and 8 boys - all only 6 or 7 years old. Innocent people who had their whole life ahead. Now the whole world asks the one question: Why?

Where do we live when not even at school our kids are safe? - Just one of many questions I read on the internet. Questions that keeps me thinking and sad. It was not because of the teachers, no, they protected the children, tried to calm them down. Like Vickie Soto, 27, she's a real hero for me. She died because she shielded the kids, saved some of them. She loved them all, loved to teach. She gave her life trying to protect them.

Today are the first funerals. The funerals of young children who are supposed to live. Who are supposed to have a life. I'm thinking of the kids, teachers and their families. Praying. Hoping that such a tragedy will never happen again. And I keep asking WHY?



Don't let us forget the victims. 

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The grown-up simulation

Kids want to become an adult as quickly as possible. But what when they are one? When they reach a point in life and want to be a kid again? Having such an easy-going life, a huge fantasy in which everything can happen. What a peaceful world. They don't have responsibility for anything, they just live and every single day is a new adventure. Children play the whole day, they get a register and play bank teller. And the next day they are a doctor. Kids can be whatever they want, whenever they want it. Isn't that great? And their parents protect them no matter what they do.

It's great to be a kid, but so often we want the opposite of what we have, of what we are. So a kid wants to have more rights, makes her own decisions, and doesn't want to hear stuff like "this is a grown-up talk, go playing". I heard that when I was a kid, mostly when we visited my grandma once a week. So my mom wanted to talk to her mom, which I can understand now, but back then... Well, when you are a kid, you have to be the number 1. You want your family to go where you want to go, you want to talk with them about your favorite topics and play with them when and what you want. But one day you'll realize, life is not only about you.

When I started to watch The Big Bang Theory about 1 1/2 years ago, and saw some videos on youtube afterwards, I could not understand why so many guys like Sheldon. He seemed to me the weirdest person of them all. But after I saw Jim doing interviews, I started to like him and so I kept focusing on Sheldon. I still see Jim in him, and so I like him now too, but I think people like Sheldon for what he is. Just himself. He is like a kid, who loves to play and who loves to be the number 1. And to be honest: who doesn't like that?

The thing is when we get older, we try to fit in, like to a group of people. We want to be liked by others, and because they are not our parents of who we can be sure that they like is no matter what we do, say or how we look like, we start acting. But sometimes when we act too much, we can lose ourselves in it. And this is when we stop being who we really are. The best thing of being a kid is, being simply yourself. They do not care that much what others think about them, because they know one thing certainly, and that is the only thing that really matters: my parents will love me.

Acting the whole time can be exhausting. It's a hard job, but we want to fit into the society, and so we go out, every single day, not playing, but acting. Life is a play, the stage is everywhere we go and we are the protagonists of our own play, doing our best that the audience, the people around us, like what they see. That they want to get in touch with us, maybe even work with us. We want to be loved, and think the more people love us the better. You can see that on Twitter or Facebook. When kids grow older and become teenagers they mostly think they are only great when the have thousands of followers or friends. But is that amount important? Does this mean I am not likeable only because I don't have as many followers as Lady Gaga?

Even Sheldon is growing up now, realizing that a relationship is between two people, and both are important. Life is not about one person. We all need each other. We can't expect people to like us, when we don't show that these guys are important to us, too. We want to be their number 1, and they want to be our number 1, it's all about give and take. And isn't it great to take care of someone you love? No matter how far his relationship will go, he will always stay Sheldon. A man who loves to play, to might do some stuff of which some other guy might say it's odd. But who cares? The people who are important will like him anyway, for just the way he is. That he dares to be himself.

I'll always be on your side

We need to grow up, to get through life, but we should also keep our childish side. We shouldn't stop playing, we should allow us to do sometimes some childish things, and think less about what others could think about us. You can act, and when someone's not liking you, just say you acted the wrong way, but it's braver to act who you really are. People who don't like you then, aren't worth to be part of your life. Because it's not important how many people like you, it's important that you are liked by the persons you love. And the ones who really love you, like your family and friends, love you the way you are, and not what you try to pretend to be.