The sadness of being

John Paul II memorial, St. Anne's Hill

When I was in Poland two weeks ago, my friend showed me some pretty interesting places. Her Grandma lives in Silesia and my friend visits her a couple of times every year. It was my first time in Poland and the only negative thing about this trip was, that I don't speak any Polish. Luckily my friend's Grandma spoke some German and her husband some English. I enjoyed my stay there, and I met lots of nice and friendly people.

One day we went to St. Anne's Hill. its chapel is an important destination for Roman Catholic pilgrimage. I took some pictures of this amazing place and also the John Paul II memorial they built to remember his visit in the 1980s. 

Besides all these good impressions, there was one thing that keeps me thinking. My friend showed me her Grandma's neighborhood and where the kids lived she used to play with. We went to the cemetery and she showed me the grave of one of her friends. He wanted to save someone from drowning, wanted to rescue the kid in a nearby lake. The kid survived but my friend's friend died, he drowned. Her best girl friend died in a car accident. Her mother was with her in that car, she survived but will never fully recover from this and what happened to her daughter. Both friends of my friend were only about 18 years when they passed away.

St. Anne's Hill chapel

Too often I don't think about how soon life can be over. I read an article about a girl who died because she was texting while driving. It only needs one second of carelessness, not paying attention what's happening. A crash. People can be injured or even die. More and more often I hear about persons who use their phones while driving. No matter if they "just" want to call someone, write a text or whatever. They underestimate the danger, not only the one they put themselves in, but also other people. You can easily lose control.
Imagine you are driving and then, in the blink of an eye, you see lights coming closer and there is no way for you to avoid a crash. It's not your fault, but the other one's did something on his phone instead of paying attention to the street.

Car accidents happen way too often, and many of them can be prevented. Why do some guys think it's cool to text and drive? Is it necessary to take life for granted and to not think of the risks? Or maybe to think that nothing will happen because nothing happened all the times before? Misbelief.

I think a lot about life and what really matters. I also go often to my Grandpa and my Grandma's graves, just because I want to "see" them. And I think of my time with them, how much we laughed and how much fun we had. Then I think of how many years have passed since then, and that it doesn't seem to be this long. It was like they were just here, and then they were gone. Your eyes can't see them anymore but anyway I can feel that they are still here with me. And when it comes to my Grandma, I'm happy I had these 12 years with her, because the doctors said she will only live a few months more after her cancer diagnosis. She lived more than 10 years longer. So at least we had that time together.

Life is unique, it's special. And once it's gone, well you can't buy a new one or fix everything. It's not like a car or something. Life is precious. And I realized too often how soon it can be over. But it's not important how many years you lived as long as you actually lived. You can only do that when you love, when you embrace and enjoy your life. Be yourself, leave your own footsteps in the sand of life. The people who only follow someone's traces never dared to be themselves.

No money can buy what really matters in life. You're born naked, you enter this world having nothing, and you can't take anything with you when you have to go. But while living, many become greedy, they want more and more. More money, more wealth, more luxury. Sure it's better to have a bit more than a bit less, but having too much can destroy people. They start thinking more and more about making more and more $$, and forgetting about the rest. Friends and family are the ones who won't forget you, who love you for who you are. That's what money can't do. And only true love and someone who really cares for you, makes you happy and alive. Don't take that for granted!

Good way to relax

the hotel pool in Hurghada/Egypt

I love to travel and see new places, meet new people. Two weeks ago, I spent a week in Egypt with a friend. It was the 6th time for her to go there but the first one for me and because of what I heard in the news of that country and read about it, I wasn't really sure if I wanna go there. But I'm glad she convinced me. It was an amazing week. It was warm, the sky was mostly cloudless, the Red Sea was crystal clear and perfect to swim and dive and see the impressive underwater world. Sometimes I thought I was at Sea Life. It was as clear as the water in the swimming pool, which was pretty amazing. In fact, there is nothing I could complain about. We were not near Kairo, where I'd probably not go to now, and so it was a quiet stay and a perfect vacation to just relax. We did not even watch any TV, listen to radio or used the internet much - the connection is very bad and it's very expensive too, but one complete week without internet at all was just not possible for me, so I was one hour online, only on Twitter and Google+. It was a bit strange and now I'm happy to have everything back and know again what's happening in the world, but for one week it was perfect to just switch off everything completely, don't worry about anything but only live for the day and focus and embrace the present. I think this was needed that I don't care about college or work or anything, and at least during the vacation this is the best my friend and I could do!!


So this week I was not only relaxing, having fun and reading an awesome book - Last to die by Tess Gerritsen is the best thriller I've read in years! I'm not a big Rizzoli and Isles fan, I watch the show only sometimes, I mean I like it but I watch so many other shows and often I forget when it's on, but that book is just great. I couldn't stop reading, so if you love thriller - you have to read Last to die!!!

If you wanna know what this book is about, watch the video below.

This one week in Hurghada/Egypt I was thinking a lot. Like places I'd love to go to. And because of a good friend who loves Doctor Who and we were talking about it lately, I asked myself: where would I go to if I had a TARDIS? Somewhere in the future? Meet someone in the past? Go to another planet? Or just meet my friends all over the world who I "met" on the internet? Well, maybe that would be one thing I'd love to do, for sure :).

Doctor Who's Time and Relative Dimension in Space
pic by Louise .

But what I also love to is going back to see my grandma and talk to her again. She died in the year 2000, and I do have a video, so I can watch her, hear her voice and see her laughing, though she was already very sick then, but I'd love to talk to her. Just one more time. I also love to meet her husband who died one year before I was born. I think I'm not much interested in the future. It's like you read a taping report of a new episode of your fave show - when you watch it then and know exactly what happens, this takes all the fun from it. So if I knew what happens in my life, I think I will be less excited for it, coz not knowing what will happen is what encourages me to try something new. So instead of the future I'd love to go back and meet my ancestors, knowing where I come from, talking to these people and get to know more about their lives would be really interesting. So it's like my own episode of "Who do you think you are?".



Where would you go to if you had a TARDIS?

Little wonders

"Stop thinking about fun, have it." - Homer Simpson

Vacation. What a wonderful word. What a wonderful thing to think about. Spending some time somewhere else and forget your everyday problems, the stress that you have in your job. When you don’t have to think about anything, just relax and live for the day. You can do whatever you want, you feel happy and you want that this will be forever.

When someone comes to you, telling that you have to enjoy your stay because soon everything will be again as usual, you get into some kinda panic. Don’t think about it, you say to yourself. You notice that not only you feel happy, that your whole family is happier than ever. You want no change. You don’t want to go back. This cruise, this trip should never end. You might try to convince yourself that there is a chance to let this last forever.

But soon you have to realize that you can’t hold on time. That this can’t last forever. It’s not that you say: this is the only time I had some fun and therefore it’s supposed to be forever, because afterwards you'll have all the stress and worries back. It’s that you appreciate the few happy moments in your life. You wouldn’t be able to do that, if you would only have such pleasant moments. You have to have all the stress as well, that you recognize how wonderful and special the good times are.

Do not think about when you had fun the last time, or think about how great was it back then and how tough it is now. Live every single moment, take any chance of fun. Bart had to realise that in the last Simpsons episode and I like that, because I can understand him. You want to be happy and you want your family to be happy, too. And you do everything that this will remain. But Homer was also right showing him that fun can be everywhere, you just have to be aware of it.

This episode also reminded me of one of my absolute fave songs: Little wonders by Rob Thomas. It describes that you have to appreciate these special, pleasant moments in your life, these little wonders it has to offer you.