The sadness of being

John Paul II memorial, St. Anne's Hill

When I was in Poland two weeks ago, my friend showed me some pretty interesting places. Her Grandma lives in Silesia and my friend visits her a couple of times every year. It was my first time in Poland and the only negative thing about this trip was, that I don't speak any Polish. Luckily my friend's Grandma spoke some German and her husband some English. I enjoyed my stay there, and I met lots of nice and friendly people.

One day we went to St. Anne's Hill. its chapel is an important destination for Roman Catholic pilgrimage. I took some pictures of this amazing place and also the John Paul II memorial they built to remember his visit in the 1980s. 

Besides all these good impressions, there was one thing that keeps me thinking. My friend showed me her Grandma's neighborhood and where the kids lived she used to play with. We went to the cemetery and she showed me the grave of one of her friends. He wanted to save someone from drowning, wanted to rescue the kid in a nearby lake. The kid survived but my friend's friend died, he drowned. Her best girl friend died in a car accident. Her mother was with her in that car, she survived but will never fully recover from this and what happened to her daughter. Both friends of my friend were only about 18 years when they passed away.

St. Anne's Hill chapel

Too often I don't think about how soon life can be over. I read an article about a girl who died because she was texting while driving. It only needs one second of carelessness, not paying attention what's happening. A crash. People can be injured or even die. More and more often I hear about persons who use their phones while driving. No matter if they "just" want to call someone, write a text or whatever. They underestimate the danger, not only the one they put themselves in, but also other people. You can easily lose control.
Imagine you are driving and then, in the blink of an eye, you see lights coming closer and there is no way for you to avoid a crash. It's not your fault, but the other one's did something on his phone instead of paying attention to the street.

Car accidents happen way too often, and many of them can be prevented. Why do some guys think it's cool to text and drive? Is it necessary to take life for granted and to not think of the risks? Or maybe to think that nothing will happen because nothing happened all the times before? Misbelief.

I think a lot about life and what really matters. I also go often to my Grandpa and my Grandma's graves, just because I want to "see" them. And I think of my time with them, how much we laughed and how much fun we had. Then I think of how many years have passed since then, and that it doesn't seem to be this long. It was like they were just here, and then they were gone. Your eyes can't see them anymore but anyway I can feel that they are still here with me. And when it comes to my Grandma, I'm happy I had these 12 years with her, because the doctors said she will only live a few months more after her cancer diagnosis. She lived more than 10 years longer. So at least we had that time together.

Life is unique, it's special. And once it's gone, well you can't buy a new one or fix everything. It's not like a car or something. Life is precious. And I realized too often how soon it can be over. But it's not important how many years you lived as long as you actually lived. You can only do that when you love, when you embrace and enjoy your life. Be yourself, leave your own footsteps in the sand of life. The people who only follow someone's traces never dared to be themselves.

No money can buy what really matters in life. You're born naked, you enter this world having nothing, and you can't take anything with you when you have to go. But while living, many become greedy, they want more and more. More money, more wealth, more luxury. Sure it's better to have a bit more than a bit less, but having too much can destroy people. They start thinking more and more about making more and more $$, and forgetting about the rest. Friends and family are the ones who won't forget you, who love you for who you are. That's what money can't do. And only true love and someone who really cares for you, makes you happy and alive. Don't take that for granted!

The power of fantasy

“Can you imagine losing your fantasy?” That’s what I asked Aly lately, and she wildly shook her head.  “Not in a million years”, she said. Aly is the daughter of one of my friends. She is 4 years old and since I know her I learned a lot. She became one of my biggest inspirations in my life, and my writing. Fantasy is the base, or the core of writing and this little girl has an infinite amount of ideas and stories in her head. She uses her imagination to explore the world. There’s so much she doesn’t know but somehow she does, only without knowing.

Can a single drop be like a gate into another world?
pic by Andrea

I remember one day when Jim, a good friend of mine, and I were picking up Aly for eating some ice cream. Soon she started talking excitedly about the ice princess with her strawberry dress and her vanilla skin, and her chocolate hair. “It’s maybe too sad to eat her,” Aly said. “She is just so beautiful, but of course she is, she is a princess. Aren’t all princesses beautiful?” “Sure they are,” I replied. “But the sun doesn’t like her. I don’t like that. Why can’t it let the princess live longer?” “Well, ice melts when it’s too warm”, Jim tried to explain. “But it’s not fair for the ice princess. She has such a short life. So I will enjoy her beauty as long as I can.”

When she saw her princess, Aly’s eyes started sparkling. She was looking at the ice cream, like she never saw something like this before. “Life is short. Most people would gulp you down in a rush. Not me. I’m not in a hurry. I know that I will never see you again. You are special and beautiful.” Jim and I looked at each other, then at our ice creams on the table. At this moment I wish I could see the princess, but all I saw was ice cream. That made me a little upset and Aly noticed that. I didn’t want to tell her that somehow all grown-ups lose more and more of their imagination and see it all differently. So I told her about my other big wish.

“I want to have a dog, most of all a Maltese. They are just the cutest”, I gushed. It’s all true, but as long as I go to college I simply can’t have one. Aly looked at me with her blue eyes and smiled. “The longer you wait, the happier you will be when your wish comes true.” The next day I visited her Mom. We sat in the kitchen and talked. Then Aly came in, holding a shoe box in her hand. She gave it to me with a big smile on her face. “Here. That’s what you wished for.” I took the box; it felt empty, so I didn’t open it but asked Aly what that was. “In it is your Maltese, white, fluffy and so sweet.” 

picture by Fireangel33

Whole life in 24 hours

I might have mentioned the last book I read. It's called 'Before I Go To Sleep' by S.J. Watson. I have to admit it's one of the best books I ever read and recently finished reading it. The story is about a woman who wakes up every morning and has no memory. She can't remember anything. Imagine you wake up, and don't know where you are, or even who you are? Every day you have to discover yourself.

She only has a few memories of her youth, and sometimes she can remember a few things, but after she went to sleep and wake up the next morning, it's like the last day didn't exist. She only lives for the day. The time has no meaning. The man she wakes up with every morning, she can't remember him either but has to believe what he tells her. About their marriage, about their son, about their life. Every day the same.

Her doctor had the idea that she should write some sort of journal and he calls and reminds her every day to read what she did the days before, and what memories she had. And so she writes about her life every day that she can re-read the thoughts she had that day some days after. That she can read her own memories, and has not just believe what others tell about her and her life. So the diary gets longer and longer, and the reader is like that woman who reads her journal and gets to know about her and her life.

Living with no memory of yourself and your life is really hard.

It let me start thinking about memories. What would we be without them? Isn't it our memory that makes the person that we are right now? We remember the good and the bad things that occured to us in life. We met people, those we can trust, and some who really disappointed us in any way. Luckily I haven't met many belonging to the last group of people, but I do have met some weird guys, and also some mean and dishonest people. Memories help us not to do the same mistake again, and also let us remember the people who once left us can so that they can still be alive in our memories.

How would it be for you losing your memory? That you don't know who you are, how your name is, to whom you're married? That you don't recognize your own kids, or brothers and sisters? I guess it would drive me crazy. It's like starting a new life over and over again, and don't have any life at all. I mean you neither have a past nor a future. You just live right here and right now. It's like meeting a stranger, but also knowing that you're meeting yourself. Every day is like a whole life. Next one starting tomorrow after waking up, will last 24 hours or less, depending on when you fall asleep, and then it will all start again.

Liebster Blog Award

I started blogging after I realized that we are all connected with each other in some way. I still believe that some people have to meet in life, some have to get in touch with each other, to get another point of view on several things that occur in someone’s life. I already got in touch with so many people here on Blogger and I still love it. To read about other guys' life and to read their comments about things you wrote about your life and your opinion on some things. It can change you in a positive way. When you find out that there is a solution for everything. I am one of these persons who believes in fate. It could be because of what had happened to me one year ago. I also think that we are the person we are today because of our past. The experiences we made changed us and so the people we’re surrounded with.

Now I would like to thank Stephanie from An Organized Mess who has nominated me for the Liebster Blog Award. It is so kind of you being one of the persons who considered me to pass the award on to. And it was also a great birthday present. It is something that you can’t buy. When people think about you in a positive way, it’s the most precious thing that can happen to you. So thanks again.

And here is how it works:

1. Each person must post 11 things about themselves.

2. Answer the questions that the tagger set for you, plus create 11 questions for the people you've tagged to answer.

3. Choose up to 11 people with blogs who have less than 200 followers, and link them in your post.

4. Go to their page and tell them.

Here we go with 11 things about me: 

1. I am kinda addicted to pianos. I once played it when my aunt still had one, but I never learned it. But when I see one I always feel the urge to play but then I stop myself, telling me that I never had lessons, and don’t wanna bother anyone around.

2. I used to play The Sims. Actually I love video games, and if I have the time I will play that game again.

3. I also love to play board games. It is great to do that with your friends. You can hang out, chat and simply have a great time.

4. I am obsessed with music. One day without it, and I would go crazy.

5. I used to play the flute in an orchestra.

6. I wrote a musical for a very close friend of mine who moved away. Back then I was about 13.

7. My favorite animal is the owl. I simply love their eyes.

8. I am defintely a friend of the summer. I love to spend the day with my friends, just sitting outside and having a cold drink. I also freeze very easily, and so I just feel better when the sun is shining.

9. My favorite cities in America that I wanna go to are Los Angeles, Houston and New York. In each of these are lots of theaters and I simply love it.

10. My favorite musical that I have seen so far is Chicago. Such a good and simply timeless story. I also love the Queen musical We will rock you, the ABBA musical Mamma Mia (but I like the on stage performance better than the movie) and Dance of the Vampires – because it also has such a good and timeless story. It contains so much of our own life if you listen to the songs carefully.

11. I love to fly to different countries, see different places and meet other people. I also love city tours. Last year I spent a week in London and loved it very much.

And here are Stephanie's questions:

1) Skittles or Starbursts?
- Skittles

2) If you could go anywhere in the world and take one person, where would you go and who would you take? 
- I would go to Los Angeles because I have relatives living there that I haven’t seen for years, and it seems to be such a wonderful place and the best for my dream job to work on. I would go with my dear and close friend Sarah.

3) More so than just morning or night, it is at what time that you look at the clock and see your favourite time of day?
- I prefer the afternoon, if I would have to choose between morning and night, I am a night person. I love to get up late and stay up longer.

4) If you could be a bird or a fish, which would you choose? Why?
- That’s difficult because I love to swin and I love the seaworld. But I would also enjoy flying. I love to sit on a plane and see everything from above and be faster further away. I guess I would choose the bird.

5) How do you eat your Oreos?
- I honestly don’t like Oreos. Does that make me a weirdo? :P

6) Why did you start a Blog?
- Most of all to get in touch with people all over the world. Telling them about my life, and also get their point of view is such a great thing. I have already written with so many kind people. They inspired me with their words, what they write about their life in their own blog but also when they comment something I wrote. It’s a great thing for a writer and I always enjoyed writing – not only about my life. I also love to write stories, create my own characters, writing my own plays, novels and so on.

7) How do you want to be remembered after you die?
- I hope that people will remember me as a good person. I believe that after someone passed away and people liked that person, her or his soul will come home and continue to live in them. So when I could go on living in the persons I loved, I would be in heaven.

8) Favourite Disney movie?
-Enchanted

9) What is that one song you could listen to over and over again?
- Whew! That’s hard to say, I listen to music every day and love so many songs. Currently my favorite song is one of the Scotish singer Amy MacDonald called “Life in a beautiful light” – it totally cheers me up. It has such good lyrics, you sing along and just feel happy.

10) When have you been at your happiest?
- I would say that’s now. Last year I had a really tough time, it was the worst part of my life that I could remember and I definitely don’t wanna go back. Now I found the beauty and sense of my life again, I know what I wanna do and achieve in life. It is important to have goals to work for, to appreciate what you have and to believe in your dreams and let them one by one come true.

11) Are you going to pass on this award, or have you given up with all the work it entails?
- I will pass it on because I love the idea to show someone that you like the work of someone else. It shows that you are interested in her or him and wanna know more about that person. I was very happy that you considered me for that – and wrote me on my birthday! Which made it extra special to me – and I wanna continue with that tradition because I know so many good blogs and nice persons. And I wanna show them that I like what they do and appreciate what they do.

And here are 11 questions to some very nice people I'd like to pass the award on:

1.     Do you believe in miracles?

2.     What is the reason you started your blog?

3.     What is your favorite animal and why?

4.     What do you appreciate the most about your life?

5.     What was the last book you’ve read and what’s it about?

6.     If you would go to a lonely island, which three things would you take with you?

7.     Do you thing that failure is always a bad thing or can it also encourage you to retry or try it differently?

8.     Have you ever had a life changing moment? And if so, what was it about?

9.     What is your favorite TV show?

10.  Besides writing, what do you mostly do on your computer?

11.  If you could change something in your life, what would you change?

The people I chose are very kind. I follow their blogs for a long time right now and I love to read what they write. They have inspired me in so many ways, and so I hope you guys will continue this tradition. I really look forward reading your answers:

Christopher Arnel http://fromthemaddladd.blogspot.com/

Tina Fariss Barbour http://bringingalongocd.blogspot.com/

Rosita http://lifeisntbychance.blogspot.com/

Mary Elizabeth http://dreambigandneverlosehope.blogspot.com/

Sarah http://radiowaltz.blogspot.com/

Renee http://calmbluewaters.blogspot.com/

Alisha http://peaceandpenguins.blogspot.com/

Stacia http://www.simplystacia.com/

Krystal Lynn http://www.ocdtherealtruth.blogspot.com

What's the No 1 on your wish list?

“Soon it’s your birthday, my dear, so tell me what are your wishes?”

You probably have heard this sentence or something like that when someone asked you for your wishes. People around us are caring, and some are asking because they want us to be happy, they don’t want to buy something we already have or don’t know what to do with. Using the new media makes this even easier because we can write wish lists, e.g. on Amazon, and send this via email to all our friends and relatives and they can choose what they wanna give us.

But are all the wishes we have price tagged? What about to keep well and fit? As well as our family and friends? Do we take healthy for granted or can we wish for something that remains the same? Can we only wish for something we don’t have?

You probably think now, when someone asks you for your wishes he or she wants to buy something so you send her or him your wish list or tell them. They might look confused if you say “I wanna be forever healthy”, or anything like that. But it is a wish and they asked for one. In our life everything is about money and the value of something. But the things that are really necessary in our life, can’t be bought with any money.

Take a minute or some more and think about your priceless wish list. What do you wish for? Only monetary things? I guess not. The biggest wish everyone has is also mine: liberty. We all want to be free, not just the Americans. If we don’t have freedom, well, that would be another blog entry.

My priceless wish list

1. liberty
2. my family and friends keep well and fit
3. I keep well and fit
4. my family and friends stay with me
5. no fight between my family members (including or excluding me)
6. trust and loyalty between me, my family and friends
7. go on enjoying my life
8. successfully helping my friends/family whenever they need me
9. being accepted and respected, not only tolerated
10. being heard
11. having the chance to live my life and make my own decisions
12. meeting and chatting with lots of different people all over the world
13. finding love instead of hate
14. discovering me and my truth about at least my life
15. making fascinating experiences

The Einstein Approximation Sequel

Do you know that when you try to figure out something and therefore you can’t sleep? You always think about the same, the whole time, over and over again? Or you think about the dream you had the night before? Sometimes it is just a name or any sort of irrelevancy that don’t wanna come into your mind.

I had this not only once. I walked into my room, and before I did that, I knew exactly what I wanted to do, but in the room I had no clue. I thought and thought and thought but couldn’t remember. Or I made a crossword puzzle and the correct answer was on the tip of my tongue but I couldn’t say it. Do you know what I mean?  Or I tried to understand a simple equation like in maths. Or I wrote a word, the computer “said” it’s wrong and I looked and looked at it but couldn't find the mistake. And then someone came, and without thinking, solving the equation, writing the word correctly on which I was thinking about for such a long time. And he or she solved that in a blink of an eye and I thought: why haven't I figured it out?

I found this on the internet. When I read that kindergarten children can do this easily but a professor can’t, my first thought was that this is impossible. In fact, I have to say, I hadn’t figured it out when I first saw it. I thought about it, but couldn’t find the logic. Maybe we have learned too much, think too abstract, I don’t know. Here is it, maybe you find the right solution. Think about it and please write me your solution. I finally figured it out and so know its logic now ;)

click on the picture to enlarge it

Obvious isn't obvious

An accident had happened right next to you. What are you supposed to do? You are in a shock. You wanna run away but for some reason you can’t. Your feet feel heavy like lead. You can’t move. Later the police will arrive and ask you what had happened. What will you tell them? Have you seen anything? No, you came too late. Do you even remember anything of the accident?

Another situation which is not that dramatic, and so more possible: The teacher stands in front of the class, gives everyone a topic to write an essay on. You all have the same thing to write about, but will you write all the same? Hopefully not. You won’t use the same words, won’t write the same sentences. So it is the same with the accident. Two people have seen the same, but haven’t.




We all focus on other things. We find other things interesting and necessary. And that’s good. I mean imagine a world in which everyone thinks and likes the same things. There wouldn’t be a wide range of things in the world. We all would be equal and wouldn’t have a chance to get in touch with new things. We can’t see it in a different view, and no one has to convince us about anything. We can’t find anything new because there is no ‘new’. We don’t even have to meet new people because they are exactly like we are. They like the same things, they have the same clothes, they like the same music and watch the same movies.

So even when you think, that something you see is obvious, that everyone sees it like that, you are wrong. Nothing in our world is obvious. Maybe for us, but not for all of us. Luckily we are all different. That obvious isn’t obvious is obvious for me, but was it also obvious for you, before you read that blog entry?

The genius in us

There has to be dumb people in this world because otherwise no one could ever be identified as a genius.

What makes a genius? Can even I become one? Is it only genetic? Heritable? Well, just a little bit. About 50 - 60 %, and the rest is quite on us. What we do with what we got. Even smart guys has to train their brain to know everything related to his or her specialty. It also depends on the people we spend our time with, our parents and friends. Do they encourage us? Are they curious as well, try to figure out new things? Then we also want to prove we can keep up with them.

So being a genius, we all can be one. We have to find the thing we are most interested in, we are good at and having fun with. Some find this pleasure in physics, some in music, some in writing, some in acting, painting or anything else. Whatever it is, if you love it and do your best, you can become a genius at it. I mean, what actually is ‘a genius’? A smart person, of course, but what is the definition of it? Does this mean having an IQ of more than 100, which is the average in the United States? *

Well, if you have ever made an IQ test, you probably know that intelligence is not only based on knowledge. You have to think logically, you have to have visual thinking. You simply have to be better than others in something, and that makes you a genius. So, go out into the world, find some guys who are less smart and smile: a genius is also depending on who looks at you. Some will give you a glimpse and others will gaze in amazement. But being only surrounded by people who are, let’s call them ‘different-smart’, will maybe bring you to do less for what you’re good at and love to do. So you have to find someone who can look up to you, so you maybe inspire him or her for reaching the same you did, but you also need someone to whom you can look up to. That you never stop going on, never stop working because not even a genius knows really everything.

Certainly we are not Einstein and never will be. Figure out what you’re best at, that’s the first step: you have to know your ability. Second: work on it, improve your skills. And third: do not count the number of people knowing and liking you, do it for yourself, to prove yourself that you are someone special and be happy with even a less amount of guys who are able to see you.

* See on this website a list with the average IQ of different nations. In my opinion this is very interesting: http://sq.4mg.com/NationIQ.htm