Monday, August 27, 2012

Whole life in 24 hours

I might have mentioned the last book I read. It's called 'Before I Go To Sleep' by S.J. Watson. I have to admit it's one of the best books I ever read and recently finished reading it. The story is about a woman who wakes up every morning and has no memory. She can't remember anything. Imagine you wake up, and don't know where you are, or even who you are? Every day you have to discover yourself.

She only has a few memories of her youth, and sometimes she can remember a few things, but after she went to sleep and wake up the next morning, it's like the last day didn't exist. She only lives for the day. The time has no meaning. The man she wakes up with every morning, she can't remember him either but has to believe what he tells her. About their marriage, about their son, about their life. Every day the same.

Her doctor had the idea that she should write some sort of journal and he calls and reminds her every day to read what she did the days before, and what memories she had. And so she writes about her life every day that she can re-read the thoughts she had that day some days after. That she can read her own memories, and has not just believe what others tell about her and her life. So the diary gets longer and longer, and the reader is like that woman who reads her journal and gets to know about her and her life.

Living with no memory of yourself and your life is really hard.

It let me start thinking about memories. What would we be without them? Isn't it our memory that makes the person that we are right now? We remember the good and the bad things that occured to us in life. We met people, those we can trust, and some who really disappointed us in any way. Luckily I haven't met many belonging to the last group of people, but I do have met some weird guys, and also some mean and dishonest people. Memories help us not to do the same mistake again, and also let us remember the people who once left us can so that they can still be alive in our memories.

How would it be for you losing your memory? That you don't know who you are, how your name is, to whom you're married? That you don't recognize your own kids, or brothers and sisters? I guess it would drive me crazy. It's like starting a new life over and over again, and don't have any life at all. I mean you neither have a past nor a future. You just live right here and right now. It's like meeting a stranger, but also knowing that you're meeting yourself. Every day is like a whole life. Next one starting tomorrow after waking up, will last 24 hours or less, depending on when you fall asleep, and then it will all start again.


krystal lynn said...

I have heard about this book before. I love reading and may make it the next book I read. I am reading "Drowning Ruth" right now and it is a really good book.
You always bring up interesting questions Sanny. I guess it would make me really sad to wake up and not remember is scary to even think about that. On the other hand how nice it must be to live each day for just that day..and not remember the troubles or hurts from the past. There is something to be said about "living in the present". I need to do that and not worry so much about what is in the past..forgive and move on. I am glad I have my memory though because it sounds exhausting to have to start over every day and to learn to trust people anew every time you wake up.

Sanny said...

Thanks for the book suggestion. I will have a look on amazon - maybe it's gonna be my next book ;)
Sometimes I also think it would be nice to forget all the bad things that happened in my life, but then I'll think twice and ask myself: is it not my entire memory that makes me the person I am now? Even the bad things are part of my life, let me grow and changed me in some way. Maybe if I wouldn't have gone through these times, I would not look on several things the way I do now.
I couldn't live without a memory either. When I would have to ask me how I came to that place where I am, and I don't even know who I am or anything about me - this would really drive me crazy in some way. It's like living a stranger's life.

Thanks for your comment.

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