Life's beauty

Sometimes life can be pretty tough. Things change, people leave, things don't work out the way they should. I am sure everyone gets into such situations from time to time. I have been there, too. When I was a kid I kept asking myself why so many persons I love, had to leave me? All my friends went to weddings and christenings, but I had to go to funerals. And I still wonder sometimes, if I bring some kind of misfortune to my loved ones?

This jellyfish looks like our planet Earth and
symbolizes life's beauty.
pic by Steve Jurvetson

Life comes and goes. I have learned that. And it was not only once that I had the wish to live in a perfectly harmonious world. Like shown on TV. I have never had a group of friends who were like my second family and I could share everything with. Or that I met the same guys daily. I only met one friend daily, now it became monthly, and sometimes not even that works out, due to work and that she is already married and has the cutest daughter on earth.

So seeing my friends only a couple of times a year, and that they all don't really know each other coz I met them in different places of my life, I sometimes wish to be back at school. Back to the times when you didn't have to worry bout money, your future or even the next day. You never thought of anything but just lived day after day.

In one of the latest Simpsons episode Homer wanted to live in Lego world, a place where his kids never get old, no one gets hurt and nothing ever changes. And in season 7 finale of The Big Bang Theory Sheldon deals with too much change in his life, too. He runs away, probably like many would love to. But is this the right way to deal with problems? Homer figured out that time with his kids is limited and exactly that makes it special. They will always love him but keep growing too.

Change frightens everyone. We love to do things we got used to, things we know quite well. When it comes to new things, we start analyzing. We wanna figure out the risks, what could happen. And we all feel more comfortable in things that had always been this way. But would it be really good being a kid again, going to school? I would miss many people in my life that I wouldn't have met if I ever stayed that young. Experiences you cannot make. Life is not always easy, as bad as it can be, never close your eyes for the good things too. I am sure there is much in your life that you are proud of. Focus on that. And don't forget:

it is not important what but who you have in your life.  

My current fave German song is about life, its beauty and everything that is still ahead of you and me. Future can be scary, but should not be. If everything stays the same, would this really be a life worth living?

The sadness of being

John Paul II memorial, St. Anne's Hill

When I was in Poland two weeks ago, my friend showed me some pretty interesting places. Her Grandma lives in Silesia and my friend visits her a couple of times every year. It was my first time in Poland and the only negative thing about this trip was, that I don't speak any Polish. Luckily my friend's Grandma spoke some German and her husband some English. I enjoyed my stay there, and I met lots of nice and friendly people.

One day we went to St. Anne's Hill. its chapel is an important destination for Roman Catholic pilgrimage. I took some pictures of this amazing place and also the John Paul II memorial they built to remember his visit in the 1980s. 

Besides all these good impressions, there was one thing that keeps me thinking. My friend showed me her Grandma's neighborhood and where the kids lived she used to play with. We went to the cemetery and she showed me the grave of one of her friends. He wanted to save someone from drowning, wanted to rescue the kid in a nearby lake. The kid survived but my friend's friend died, he drowned. Her best girl friend died in a car accident. Her mother was with her in that car, she survived but will never fully recover from this and what happened to her daughter. Both friends of my friend were only about 18 years when they passed away.

St. Anne's Hill chapel

Too often I don't think about how soon life can be over. I read an article about a girl who died because she was texting while driving. It only needs one second of carelessness, not paying attention what's happening. A crash. People can be injured or even die. More and more often I hear about persons who use their phones while driving. No matter if they "just" want to call someone, write a text or whatever. They underestimate the danger, not only the one they put themselves in, but also other people. You can easily lose control.
Imagine you are driving and then, in the blink of an eye, you see lights coming closer and there is no way for you to avoid a crash. It's not your fault, but the other one's did something on his phone instead of paying attention to the street.

Car accidents happen way too often, and many of them can be prevented. Why do some guys think it's cool to text and drive? Is it necessary to take life for granted and to not think of the risks? Or maybe to think that nothing will happen because nothing happened all the times before? Misbelief.

I think a lot about life and what really matters. I also go often to my Grandpa and my Grandma's graves, just because I want to "see" them. And I think of my time with them, how much we laughed and how much fun we had. Then I think of how many years have passed since then, and that it doesn't seem to be this long. It was like they were just here, and then they were gone. Your eyes can't see them anymore but anyway I can feel that they are still here with me. And when it comes to my Grandma, I'm happy I had these 12 years with her, because the doctors said she will only live a few months more after her cancer diagnosis. She lived more than 10 years longer. So at least we had that time together.

Life is unique, it's special. And once it's gone, well you can't buy a new one or fix everything. It's not like a car or something. Life is precious. And I realized too often how soon it can be over. But it's not important how many years you lived as long as you actually lived. You can only do that when you love, when you embrace and enjoy your life. Be yourself, leave your own footsteps in the sand of life. The people who only follow someone's traces never dared to be themselves.

No money can buy what really matters in life. You're born naked, you enter this world having nothing, and you can't take anything with you when you have to go. But while living, many become greedy, they want more and more. More money, more wealth, more luxury. Sure it's better to have a bit more than a bit less, but having too much can destroy people. They start thinking more and more about making more and more $$, and forgetting about the rest. Friends and family are the ones who won't forget you, who love you for who you are. That's what money can't do. And only true love and someone who really cares for you, makes you happy and alive. Don't take that for granted!

Like walking on giant stilts

What is your dream? What did you want to become when you were a kid? Did your dreams come true? And why do people lose more and more the ability to dream? Lots of these questions I asked myself lately. When I was a kid I had no specific wish for my future, no dream job or something like that. And I wrote with a couple of people who told me they stopped dreaming because dreams were like fairytales and they would never come true.

As a kid I believed everything is possible. Kids create their own explanations, they use their fantasies because they still have to learn how things actually are and work. The more we grow, the more we learn, and the more we know, the less we imagine. But imagination is the key to success. If you don't believe in yourself, who will do it? No one. Life can be tough, it's not easy, it's not a fairytale. But that does not mean dreaming is impossible. We have to dream to survive. We dream every night. Sometimes we remember what it was about and sometimes we don't. But sleep is important, and so are dreams. No one can survive without dreaming. And only the one who has dreams, has goals in her life to achieve. And that is what really matters.

Is it your dream to go to Paris one day?
Then go for it! Dreams aren't senseless!
pic by Adrian Boliston

Sure there are lots of kids out there who want to become famous. And youtube became a good way to make this easy for everyone. No matter where you live, you only need an internet connection, a camera and something you wanna show the whole world. Justin Bieber is a good proof it can work. But he also shows the negative aspects of it. Being so famous, being watched all the time can drive someone crazy. It's like walking on stilts. We all wanna be seen by everyone and so we have to be taller than the people around us. We wanna show what we can and that we are good. So we use some sort of stilts, and walk around on them. The higher we go, the more famous we are and the more likely we are seen.

But every girl who once walked in high heels knows, the higher the heels, the less easy it is to walk in these shoes. And so when you fall, even that can be seen by everyone, after your stilts became higher and higher. And so it is in Hollywood. We all see these people, we love them for what they do. They entertain us, the connect us in many ways and Justin Bieber shows that it's possible to dream, that it's possible for all of us to become famous and successful if only we work hard enough and believe in ourselves and our abilities. But it also means that we are watched, even in those times we don't want to be seen by anyone else. And it's hard to keep walking on these giant stilts without falling sometimes.

But falling is not failing. Not trying is failing. That's the difference and that's what most people forget these days. Many have lost their faith in themselves, to try new things. They remain stuck in the things they know. Don't be afraid to fall. As long as you get up again, every fall makes you stronger and wiser. Never stop dreaming. Never stop trying. Even when we are grown up, what do we really know about the world? Is it so much more than back when we were kids? Compared to what is possible to know, we know nothing. So we have to dream. Dreams encourage us to become a little bit better every day.

So it doesn't matter what others may think of your dreams. And stop thinking that you are grown up and that means you are not allowed to dream anymore or that nothing good will ever happen to you - that is NOT true!

Only the ones who keep trying, who keep dreaming, are the ones who really live, and the ones who will be successful in the end. So never stop trying. Never stop dreaming. Never stop being you.

The mistreated wish of all

What has everyone in common? The wish for freedom, the wish to be treated equally, the wish to be herself or himself. But why do some guys still think they can decide how everyone has to live? Today I read in the newspaper about Uganda and that gay people were treated like criminals there. They have to go to jail when two men or two women kiss in the public and openly say they love the same sex. When people know someone who is gay, he or she has to tell the government or even this person can go to jail. When I read that I was thinking: what the heck is wrong with such people? Why do they think true love is a crime?

Love is not a crime

pic by Lisa Spreckelmeyer

About 100 years ago, and way before, people married just for having a family. Love was not what really mattered. But these days we know that no one can survive without love in her life. It does matter. Love has many sides, you do not only love the one you wanna kiss all the time and have intercourse with. It’s also how much you love your friends, your parents, your kids.

Only the one who has love in her life, has a real life. 

Who am I to tell someone else how to love? You can’t force anyone to love anybody particularly. You can’t. Love is something that no one can describe, but only feel. There is no right or wrong. People who say God made Adam and Eve and not two Eve’s or two Adam’s, well, to those I say, that God made different people. Everyone is unique, everyone is special in her own way. Everyone is an individual. And how would it be if some gays would go to such guys, who think that a man can only love a woman and vice versa, and tell them: you are a man, so you have to love another man or you will go to jail! What would these people say, if they were treated that way?

There is so much hate in this world. And also so much crime. When I read the newspaper, when I watch TV. I don’t wanna be in the Ukraine right now. Why are people fighting? Why do some guys want to control everything and everyone? Why are some people harming other people?
The wish of everyone is to live peacefully together, but Utopia is just an utopian dream. Because everyone wants it, but so many don’t allow this to happen. There are people who have a vision, and they want others to follow their rules, to do what they want. But when other guys try to tell these so called „leaders“ what to do, they have to suffer for only trying to be against or just questioning them. 

In what poor and cruel world do we live? As much as I enjoyed watching the Oscar’s, I also thought of some homeless kids, who have no parents and have to steal food to survive day after day. And there in Hollywood you see so much glam, so much money, such a perfect world. Utopia does exist, it’s called Hollywood. It’s not that I think all these people don’t deserve this, they worked hard and everyone who won, everyone who was nominated deserved this, but these people have so much money, too much they can actually spend on stuff they really need. And on the other side of the world, too many people have to starve. They have nothing. So where is the „everyone is equal“ that you can read about in the Bible? 

People who work hard should earn money, so for sure. But when someone earns $ 50 million every year or even more, what can one single person do with so much money? Why needs Bill Gates $ 76 billion? For what? One single person? 

Some people beg to survive, and other people don't know
how to spend all their money.
pic by Alex Proimos

There is so much that I don’t get in our world. The life we have is a gift, it’s unique, it can’t be replaced, there is no restart button. So, the dream of everyone is Utopia, is to be a part of Hollywood, the perfect world. But nothing is perfect. Perfection isn’t real. But everyone can do her best, so we all can move a bit closer to perfection. Accept everyone for who he or she is. Don’t try to force her to believe and do what you do. You don’t want others to force you to live their lives, do you? When no one gets hurt, (and it doesn’t count that a man feels hurt when he sees two men are kissing, only when he tries to start a war, with words or weapons, THAT will really hurt people!), love is just that: love. Special, and the most beautiful thing in the world everyone should accept and appreciate.

Sometimes I wonder what would happen if Ellen DeGeneres would be the next President of the United States. That would cause some kind of a revolution. Maybe one that is needed for some guys to understand that women have the power, too, not only men, and that nobody should be judged for who she is and how she loves. Everyone deserves equal chances to show what they are capable of, no matter which sex, religion or where they come from.

Allow yourself the freedom to be who you are!

This song called "Utopia" by Within Temptation is already 5 years old, but the first time I heard it was just a few weeks ago and since then I love it. The lyrics are so true.

The only thing you cannot run away from

Had you ever had the wish to just run away from something? Maybe because it's too much, maybe because you felt that you can't handle a situation? I had this wish - not only once in my life. I felt weak, thought I would probably blame myself and people might think I'm stupid or something.

When I was a kid I could not speak in front of the class. I was just too nervous, because everyone was looking at me. So I faked being sick, not feeling well. I thought before I say something weird, or sweating or opening my mouth without a single word to find its way out, I just run away. Well, not literally of course. It felt like this was the best thing to do. Now I know that running away is the easiest but never the best way.

Big Ben in London/UK
pic by Bob Jagendorf

Studying Media Management let me become even more awake of how important beauty and youth are these days. A celebrity without makeup is simply impossible, and it's not enough; they also need Photoshop to look even younger and fresher, better and more perfect. People wanna become old but no one wants to look old. So, do they really think they can run away from time? 

Time is everywhere. It surrounds us all. No matter how fast you try to run, it's impossible to be faster. Once it's gone, there is no chance to get it back. You all know this new word "YOLO", don't you? (for those who don't, it means "you only live once".)

Only the memories will still be forever in your mind. And that is a good thing, isn't it? You can't just delete something that happened. What is done will stay in the past, except for some reminders like pictures or videos. Or wrinkles. All these wrinkles tell your stories. When the same muscles on your face are active over and over again, they are proofs that you have laughed, that you have joy and happiness in your life. Do you want Hollywood to take that away from you? It's the place for actors, they play roles, and Hollywood wanna modify them. But you are not part of that big show. You are you, and you are wonderful and beautiful the way you are. And you don't really wanna look like a kid for the rest of you life, do you?

If time isn't there, nothing would ever happen. It would all stay the same. You won't meet new people, no kids would be born, you would always stay the same age. Okay, maybe when you are at a certain age you wanna stay like that, but how would your life be like, if it was endless and the same all the time? Would you appreciate the gift that you got? This unique and special gift? You only have one life, take the time that you have and enjoy it. Your life is worth living it!

You can't see it, you can't touch it,
but you know it's there: time
pic by Divi-ded

Sometimes it feels like time is just rushing by and sometimes it seems to be in slow motion. I remember when I was kid, I thought I will never be an adult. Days seemed to be endless. I went to school, I did my homework, I met my friends. I lived for every single day. Now I am planning. I have a schedule, things that have to be done. Time can be scary. It can be good too, like when you count down the days to meet a friend you haven't seen in a while. Studies proved that waiting for something positive to happen, can make you feel happier. When I have to speak in front of people these days, I don't try to run away from it, but instead of I face my fear. Although I can't wait for it to be over. It will never be one of my favorite things to do, but time gives me the chance to grow. To try things and to overcome my fears. 

Time can trap you in some ways. When you wait for the doctor or sitting at the bus station. Time seems endless, when you focus on it. When you look at your watch or your phone all the time. But when you don't think of time, it feels like it doesn't exist. You just live and enjoy your time. 

Time can be scary. But don't try to run away from it. Take time and enjoy your life. Don't try to think too much about it, don't try to hide it. Time feels to be different, depending on what you're doing, but it's constant. The seconds, the minutes, the hours, the days, the weeks, the months, the years. They will come and go. But the moments will remain in your minds, in your hearts. Time gives you good and bad moments, but it lets you overcome the bad ones sooner or later, and cherish all the good things happening to you.

It's time to enjoy and appreciate your time, your life. You can only look back at the past, but maybe the future holds something even better for you. Only time can tell....

Be brave, be yourself

Last week the former German soccer player Thomas Hitzlsperger had his coming out. He waited until his soccer career was over, because he was told to do so. This leaves me with the question, why some people still treat gays differently, most of all when it comes to sports men. I am sure there are football or soccer or basketball player out there, who were told to keep their mouth shut about the truth. Because there are fans who think these sports are "manly" and so there is no room for gays. But what gives them this impression? There are many men out there who have a completely normal life, and are definitely not less manly than straight guys. I guess these prejudices are caused by people who overdress, who love dresses, and lots of jewelry and sparkling pink stuff. There are a few of these man out there who just love that style. It's not wrong, it's just how they express themselves and show who they are. But exactly this might cause what most people think of gays: they are all like that, sparkling and girly.

Love will guide us.
pic by Kasia

When Hitzlsperger revealed last week that he is gay, lots of people couldn't believe it. They said that he always seemed like a "real man". Ouch! Luckily there were also lots of supportive guys out there, who said it's a good thing that he finally came out. Some even said it's brave. I wonder, why do gays even have to come out? Why can't they just live a normal life, everyone can see their partner and is okay with it. I mean, straight guys don't have to come out, so when gays have to, there it already starts that they are treated differently. This also leads that some even fake a relationship or even marriage with a woman (these women get paid for that!), because the men are afraid someone might figure it out, that they actually love men and that they might lose their job because of that.

I like that lots has changed in the past years and for some people, like actors, it mostly doesn't affect their career at all when they reveal being homosexual. Their fans love them for who they are. And I also like people who dare to be themselves. We live in a society where we learned how to fit in. We all wanna be individuals; but are we? We learned what is "normal", which just says what's average. So average is the definition of normality - at least for most people. We grew up, we were told how to behave. And who hasn't heard her parents not only once saying "Behave yourself", back when she was a kid?
And do you know one fairytale in which a man falls in love with another man? No, it's always about the Princess and her Prince. At school we try even harder to fit in a group, we don't wanna be left out. So we learn how to fit in even better. That is the main problem. We learn to do what other, mostly older people tell us to do, without questioning. The older people sure have more experience and therefore know what they say, but maybe a young person can come to a better solution because she is not stuck in the rut. She has a fresh, new point of view, and maybe that can help too.

Older people can be right, but so can young people. I think if someone really wanna be a free, independent and individual person, she has to be interested, not only in herself but also in others. Try to understand them, try to think how they think, and try to find a solution that everyone can be who (s)he is without being afraid.

Love has no limits, no one can live without love!
pic by D. Sharon Pruitt 

This whole story and discussion about Thomas Hitzlsperger lets me think of running a campaign and naming it "Be brave, be yourself". Most of all when it comes to sports, it's still a big deal. I read that even friends told Hitzlsperger to not come out during his career. They were afraid, and I guess so are many sports men and their friends, that the fans start to hate them, don't support them anymore. So what can be done, that even there gay men will be accepted and treated equally? That is what I wanna reach with this campaign and I'm happy for everyone joining the team, giving information or ideas to let this work.

I was actually shocked when I heard a man telling his story. He grew up in Latin America and there, back in the 80s, the people thought it's better to have a criminal than a gay son, so he could not even tell his own parents. Because not only the gays were treated differently but also the entire family. I am glad that these times have changed and like I said many people accept it - that's the way it should be. Well I don't know how it is in Latin America now and I know there are still countries that have a long way till they finally understand that love has no limits. Love is what keeps us alive, as long as we have love in our lives, we are actually living!

I hope that one day, everyone will respect others. We don't wanna be left out, because of who we are. No one wants someone else to tell them how or who to love. "Be brave, be yourself". You have to learn how to be yourself, and not how others to like you. Life is not about who fits in the best, it's the one who dares to be who (s)he is!!!

The most precious

What is the most precious that you have? An elder woman once asked me this, and I was thinking about it. She said to me: Some people think they are rich when they have lots of money. Nowadays it's all about the money. People think they are only someone when they have enough of it, but no one ever has enough.

I guess she thought that I say the most precious in my life is something that I bought. And when I asked some of my friends the same question a few days later, most of them said something monetary. Some said their beds, their houses, their cars. And some guys never thought of that before.

When I answered the woman I said: my family. I told her that I'm happy to have them, my parents, my brother, my aunts, my uncles, and cousins, my Grandma. I'm also happy to have such amazing friends in my life.

She looked at me and smiled. I know that everything what really matters can't be bought, can't be replaced. When my computer or car is broken, I can find someone who might fix the problem or I buy a new one. When you lose someone you love, no one can give you this person back. When I grew up, three of my family members passed away and I asked my Mom why my friends can go to weddings and baptizings and I have to go to funerals. Of course she had no answer, but it let me realize that life doesn't last forever.

I looked at this woman who said to me: When you are in my age, you will know what is the most precious. Some have more, and some have less, but it's about the intensity, not the length. You can't buy it, you get in once, you have to spend it wisely, because when it's gone you'll never get it back. Money is important in our lives, and when you have some, you're lucky and can be happy about it. You can buy clothes, food, a house, but you can't buy time. You need time to spend with the ones you love, your family and friends. There is no better way to show someone you love them, than spending time with this person.

Suddenly too soon

Today is my birthday and normally I should be happy, thinking about the beauty of life, how lucky I am to have these amazing people, my family and friends in my life and all the wonderful guys I 'met' online, and I am happy but I'm also sad at the same time. Last Monday I heard that Cory Monteith died, who played Finn Hudson on Glee. I was shocked and still can't believe it. I can still read the Tweets he wrote last week, he posted a picture, I saw him on TV so often, was impressed by his singing and acting and now he's just gone. It's like when Heath Ledger, Aaliyah and Brittany Murphy died. All so young and talented, and it happened just too soon. 

Now it's revealed that Cory died because of a heroin and alcohol overdose, and once again I'm shocked. Drugs are so often the reason of many people's deaths, so why do still so many take them? It's not on me to tell people what to do and what not, but I hope that at least some guys realise what drugs can cause them, and as hard as it might be, they should try their best to get rid of them or better, do not even start taking them.

Source: Quote that talk Tumblr

It doesn't matter how you lose a beloved person, it's always horrible. Even more when you are far away, and it happened in a sudden. When I first read how Jim Parsons lost his Dad, I couldn't and still can't imagine how he must have felt back then. He had been very close to his Dad, he supported Jim and his wish to become an actor all the time, and while Jim was working on his final project, shortly before his graduation, his Dad died in a car accident. Jim came from San Diego, where he was studying, back to Houston and he didn't wanna finish his Master's degree at first, but then he did it. He realised that he "could only be of use to the family fully if [he] did what [he] needed to do and then went on...". Jim also told Pop Matters that he had a terrible sense of direction but his Dad was good at it, and when he went to New York after his graduation, he knew how to get around so quickly that it boggled his mind. This all reminded me of what my Mom told me when her Mom died in the year 2000. I felt her presence though my eyes were unable to see her. I knew she was there and still is, because like Antoine de Saint-Exupéry wrote in "The Little Prince": 

"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."

For me, heaven is not a place up above, it is in the heart of the people we love. When the soul has to leave its body, it will find its peace and be in heaven, when it can continue to live in the people she loves and who loves her. Some fans of Michael Jackson or Elvis think they are still alive and they are somehow, as long as there are people whe won't forget them. Through their music they will always be part of our lives.

picture by Vincent Lock 

Reading about someone who died is always a shock when she was part of your life, and it reminds me of how fast everything can be over. No one wants to talk about it, to think of it, but we have to face it because it's part of our lives. I lost three loved family members when I was a kid, and I never understood why they went. It's hard to realise that you will never see this person again, someone you grew up with, someone you spent so much time with. To realise you will never talk to her, never give her a hug, never hear her voice again, makes me so frightened. 

I thank God that I can celebrate my birthday today, that I completed another year of my life, and I hope much more of them are still to come. I don't take life for granted, and also not all the things I have. I feel lucky and blessed. My prayers go to Cory's family and to his girlfriend Lea Michele. And I dedicate this poem I wrote last year after the Mom of one of my friends died, to everyone who lost a loved person:

Save you

I wish I could save you. I wish I could stay, but you know that I can’t. I never wanted to leave you. And I want you to know, I will never leave you completely. I will always follow you, no matter where you go. I didn’t want to tell you that I have to go, because I never wanted to hurt you. But since you figured it out, I feel something has changed.

I wish I could save you, honey. I wish I could take all the pain away from you. I don’t wanna see you suffering, I don’t wanna see your tears. I need you to smile. I wish I could tell you, it’s gonna be alright. I wish I could ease your pain. But I know that I can’t. I will forever be with you, forever by your side.

Please stop crying, honey, I don’t wanna cry. I want you to smile, I want you to go on for me. I hope you’ll never forget me, as I will never forget you. You’ve been the greatest and best, that ever happened to me. You made me alive. Please understand, that I have to leave. I would love to stay, so please just never forget me.

I will go on living in you. Stop crying, smile for me. Just one last time. I wish I could save you, I wish I could say that it’s gonna be alright. I wish I could ease your pain. I love to see your smile, I love to see you being happy. I still love you and forever will.

Living on the pink side

Every girl loves pink. Is it a stereotype or really true? When a woman gives birth to a baby girl most of the presents and congratulation cards are in pink. The girl gets pink dresses, skirts, ribbons, plush toys and so on. Girls live in a pink room, sleep in a pink bed. Okay, not all of them, and luckily I had a white room without any pink when I was a kid. But why is pink the girl color? Why is the first thing we think of when we hear the word pink little girl's stuff? Okay some might think of the singer, but for the most I guess it's girl's stuff.

The meaning of the color pink is unconditional love and nurturing.

There are so many colors which are all neither male nor female, except light blue for boys and pink for girls. When you go to a toy store and look for girl's stuff, you get a pink shock: everywhere you look it's all pink. Mostly Barbie dolls. But why do girls love Barbie? Almost every little girl plays with that doll. I was one of them who couldn't have enough. And girls do not only want the dolls; they also want the dresses, cars, houses, horses. Barbie has everything, a beautiful, perfect life in a pink girl's bubble.

Is pink a typical girl color?
picture by tanakawho

What would a girl do if she could be one of Barbie's friends and live with her on the pink side? Such a dream can come true in the Dreamhouse which is permanently in Sunrise, Florida, but also touring through Europe. This week Barbie Dreamhouse opened in German capital Berlin and will remain until August 25. But not everyone loves this pink dream. Some protested against the house, against Barbie. According to them the doll is the reason why many girl's don't like their bodies and have an unhealthy beauty obsession. 

“Fewer and fewer girls feel comfortable in their own skin, with eating disorders having increased drastically because of figures like Barbie,” Stevie Schmiedel from the “Pink Stinks” Initiative said as quoted by SAPA.

But is it only that doll that let girls think they only have to look good to become popular and special? Is it only that doll that shows them to be extra thin? I doubt that. It's also the whole Hollywood life shown on TV that gives the impression of size 0 is a good thing. Celebrities have to look just perfect, but even they only look 'perfect' thanks to Photoshop. So is it really the doll which created the picture of a little girl who likes everything pink? Can it be blamed for the whole thing? Why do girls admire Barbie? Because of her look? Because of everything is pink?

Back in the 1920s pink was a male color due to its close associations with red. Until the 1940s blue was seen more dainty and so the girls color. But then it changed. Since then the color pink represents compassion, nurturing and love. It relates to unconditional love and understanding, and the giving and receiving of nurturing.

Do you think pink is a girl color or is it mostly because of Barbie? Do girls really like that color or did they just get used to it because their parents gave them many pink stuff and so even later they feel more comfortable with everything pink? And do girls really wanna look like Barbie? Does she represent all the typical girl stereotypes?

Video from Barbie Life in a Dreamhouse

Sources: 

Full definition of the color pink: http://www.empower-yourself-with-color-psychology.com/color-pink.html

More on the Barbie Dreamhouse: http://barbiedreamhouse.com/

Watch a video of the Barbie Dreamhouse in Sunrise, Fla: http://www.wsvn.com/news/articles/local/21010592065957/barbie-dreamhouse-experience-opens-at-sawgrass/#ixzz2TBQrELqO

Life on the fast lane

When I look back at my childhood I remember having a pen pal living in Eureka, California and an other one living in Scotland. I wrote them letters by hand, not on the computer, and I sent them by mail. It took a while till their letters reached me, but I had something to look forward to. Waiting for an answer, what might be in the letter? What will she tell me? I was excited and when the letter finally arrived, I opened and read it, and reread it. But what happened to that? People send emails and texts, they don't have to wait for an answer that long. Once they sent a message, a few seconds later their phone blinks or makes a sound, and ta-dah there is the reply.

These days everything is fast, you have no time to rest, and no time to waste. We are all busy and we are always a step ahead. Yesterday at college our lecturer told us, that we can only do something well when we are completely present and aware of what we're doing in that very moment. Only when we pay full attention to it, we can reach the best results. But the problem is, as I said, we're mostly a step ahead. He explained it that normally when we sit we should just sit, when we stand we should stand and when we walk we should walk. But how is it really? When we sit we already think about standing and when we stand we already think where to go.

spend some time with your friends and family
picture by D. Sharon Pruitt

Many people don't allow themselves taking some time, they say: we don't have time for this, no time for that, they are all in a hurry all the time. Everything has to be fast. Sending a letter is for many people a waste of time, because till it arrives and till they get the reply, well that all simply needs too much time. So they grab their phones, type just a few words, but don't waste time writing full sentences or even complete words, and click the "send" button. But by doing that, they already think about the next message they have to send, then the meeting with the boss, then the birthday party of their kid. They are always a step ahead.

Working and doing stuff is great, but imagine a world without waiting. Would it be really that great like many guys think? Is it important that everything is that fast? Is waiting really that bad? When you're waiting till a good book will be released, waiting for a new song to come out, waiting for the new episode of your favorite TV show, waiting for the letter or a phone call or meeting your best friend or relatives again who you haven't seen in a while. Isn't it great when you can take time and wait for something to happen? I guess for soon-to-be parents pregnancy is something very special, when they wait for their kid to fulfill their lives. Imagine there would be a app for your phone and you click on it and ta-dah, your baby is there. As much as you want to meet her, see her and hold her in your arms, you also want to wait, because waiting is part of the whole beautiful experience. 

And isn't it the waiting that makes so many things just easier? I just recently read "The Little Prince" and if you haven't you should do it. There is so much truth in it, and in my next posts I will write about them. When the little Prince meets the fox, it told him that it wants to be tamed because only then, when the Prince takes his time to tame the fox, it will be important to the Prince and the Prince will be important to the fox. Otherwise the Prince will just be one of many princes and the fox only one of many foxes - the time we spend with someone makes this someone special to us. But people have no time to meet new people, to get to know new things. They want everything fast, they buy online instead of going to a mall, they buy instant meals instead of cooking for themselves. But they can't just buy friends, because a good, deep and long-lasting friendship needs time, so many people don't really have friends.

Tame an animal and it won't be just an animal, but a friend
pic by D. Sharon Pruitt

It's even more impressive to read the "The Little Prince", because it was written in the 1940s and it's still relevant. People are busy at work, busy all the time, in a hurry, always a step ahead. But you live right here, right now, so take some of your time to rest, to spend it with your family and friends. Get to know new stuff, new people, don't be in a hurry all the time. Have no time for being in a hurry. Take time to be there for the people you love, and when you're with them, don't think about your next appointment or your job. 

And when you know you will meet someone at a special time, then you can wait for that moment to come. And you will extend your happiness while waiting.

Heading Home

It was a long way, not always easy to get there. I felt cold, I felt warmth, I saw the sun, and I saw the moon. I met people, so many. Some of them were dancing, some were singing, some were acting, writing, painting. I met people who smiled, people who cried, people who suffered. It wasn’t always easy, but it was important. I needed it all. Because they are all part of my experience, part of me. What would I be, how would I be, if some things didn’t happen the way they did? What if I wouldn’t have met some people? Would I still be the same person I am right now?

There’s no doubt that I made the right choice, not always in my life, but most of it. There are things I regret, but the really important decisions, well, they weren’t wrong. One of them was starting to write again. I did this all my life, and when I was writing my play “Like A Fairytale” in 2006, I remember my Mom saying: “Do something useful, do the household or help gardening.” My Dad was fine with it, he just let me write, because he knew that I liked it. I still do, and he still knows, and now also my Mom does. So the decision I made, to start this blog one year ago, was good for me. I could write, not only stories, I could write about things that were just going on in my mind. And I could get in touch with new people, people who let me know their opinion, people who inspire me because they also write about interesting stuff.

What and who is in our heart?
picture by Barbara Unterberger

One year ago I wrote about my Granny, and because Easter is not far away anymore I wanna write about her again. I still miss her. She died in the year 2000, 2 days after her birthday. She was very weak on her final days, and she had to leave this world just way too soon. She was caring a lot, she had the greatest heart a person could have, she loved music, she had the melody in her heart. And she was strong. He had cancer, and the doctors gave her only a few months after the diagnosis, but she lived 10 more years. She was a fighter, and she didn’t want anyone to be sorry for her or to treat her differently. She doesn’t want her family, us, to suffer, too. She kept saying that she was okay. She was smiling, she was enjoying every single day of her life.

The day when my Dad told me, he had to go and drive to my Granny, I knew that she passed. I just nodded, tried to distract myself by watching some TV and keeping an eye on my little brother. My Mom told me later a story about her Mom, when she was a little kid and her Dad was in the Second World War, and the whole family just wanted to have him back. One day my Granny as a little girl was setting the dinner table with her brothers and sisters, as they all heard someone coming upstairs. They knew it was him, they were all so happy to see their Dad again. My Granny opened the door, but no one was there. About 2 weeks later they got a letter that he died.

I thought about this story a lot. Why did they all hear him? I think he came home, and everyone could feel him. I remembered how I had the feeling that my Granny was in my room with me, shortly after she died, and when I looked to the corner where I felt she was standing, I couldn’t see anything. I just believe that heaven is not a place high above, it’s when the soul can go home and continue living in the hearts of the people she loved. My Granny’s Dad came back, they all felt it, and my Granny is still with me. As long as I keep her in my heart she will never die completely. I guess she knew that, before she died. She knew the time would come, she knew her time is limited. Back then I thought she must be acting, but now I am sure that she was actually happy. Not because she died that young, but because she lived 10 years with this cancer. She had these 10 years, she had more time than the doctors predicted. She could spend more time with her family, and that’s the most important thing.

Two hearts belong together forever
picture by db Photography - Demi Brooke

We all have a limited time, it’s not always easy, there are not only easy choices to make, but it’s our journey, our path that we are going. It’s on us, if we waste our life, or if we do what we like, what we love, if we spend our time with the ones we love. Yes, I will keep on writing, this blog was good for me and still is. The first year is over, but that’s just the start. And maybe one day, when I have to leave this world, my kids, or my grandchildren can read all these things on this blog, because all the posts will remain forever. And maybe this will help them to realize that they are not alone, and even if someone they loved died, it doesn’t mean she's gone forever, because what really makes us happy, is to come home, to be home. And as long as you don’t forget her, you will feel that she is still with you and never has left you. The really important things can only be seen with your heart.

It's about the journey

The Big Bang Theory is one of the few sitcoms of which you know how it will end, or at least what’s supposed to happen in the very last episode. Or what's the only thing that makes sense to me...

Of course, I don’t want to see that very soon, and I guess that there will be at least 3 or 5 or even more seasons to come, because of its huge success which is still increasing. But it’s like life. It all started with a Big Bang when Penny came like out of nowhere into the guys’ life. She expanded and now not even Sheldon can imagine his life without her anymore.

We meet so many people in our life. They come to inspire us, to maybe change us somehow and let us see some things differently. They give us another point of view on some things. Certainly, we can’t grow without having all these people in our lives, and no one would be who he is without the people in his life. Family and friends, they make our life worth living.

"We are who we are, because of the people we are with."

And it’s never about someone’s age. My aunt once asked me, at which age I think someone is old. She probably expected me to say, that she is, but she’s only 55. In my mind someone who is maybe 80 is old, but you can’t really define a specific age. Some are 70 and are still very young. It’s about how they feel. My mom once told me about her grandma who went once to a meeting with people her age – back then she was about 70. But she came back and said: "They are all too old for me, I’ll never go back there." 

And she didn’t. My mom’s mom was also very young. When she was 60, she watched the same TV shows than I did at that time and listened to the same music. She did nothing that you might expect a 60 year old woman would do.

picture by Max Murauer

I already wrote about my granny a year ago, shortly after I started this blog. I still miss her and I know that she is still with me, as long as I keep her in my heart and mind. I won’t see her again with my eyes, but she’s still a part of my life, and as long as I won’t forget her, she’ll stay alive through me. She died in the year 2000, 2 days after her 64^th birthday. She was not old, in no way. She loved her life. She loved her family, and she was loved. 

"Life is not about its length, it’s about its intensity."

The Big Bang Theory is just about life. About people coming to us when we least expect but mostly need them. When we lost something, or miss something. Someone who reminds us who we are, when we are about to forget it. Someone who reminds us of a beloved person we once lost somehow, like an ex boy- or girlfriend, someone who moved or passed away. They can inspire us, they help us to get back on the right track. Without other people in our life, it would be senseless. Every new part of our life, every new chapter starts with new people, it all starts with a Big Bang. And like in that show we all know what has to happen at the very end. We don’t want this to happen any soon, though we know the day will come. But it’s not about that, it’s about the intensity, how we live our life, with whom we spend it, who do we choose as our fellow travelers. Because it’s all about the journey.

Love is war

picture by Barbara Unterberger

Yes, you read the headline right: Love is war. You maybe think: What? Seriously? Think I might be kidding or lying. I guess so, because you know that love is the opposite of war. And I am pretty sure that was your first thought, so you think I have to be wrong. Well, I'm gonna prove you that we both are right.

Remember the time when you were head over heels in love and you fought for someone or someone has fought for you? Back then you did everything to impress that person, that he or she will pay attention on you. You did everything that he liked you, that he would be able to fall in love with you.

Fight is something that we know from war, and certainly we hate war, so we hate fighting. But fighting for what or who we love, that is something different. Because it is a fight in which no one will get hurt – oh wait, what if you figure out in the end, that he doesn’t like you at all, he is not interested, or has already a partner? Well, then someone is hurt: you. I don't want anyone to go through such a situation. But sometimes you have to, to find out the truth. 

It can also be possible that two guys fall in love with the same person, and the two of them fight for the one love. Certainly one will be hurt in the end. Someone will suffer. And it can become bad, really bad. When two girls fight for one guy – it can become ugly. No one wants to be involved in such a war.

A war is bad, it is hard, it is horrible, anything but good. Fighting against someone is simply wrong, but fighting for someone, for the one you love, fighting for your passion or your dream to come true, that's a good fight. And that one is always worth fighting for, no matter if you fail or succeed. And if it's not working the first time, keep fighting, don't give up and one day you will be successful.

Yes, love can be a war, too. It’s not just the opposite.

Caught in my body

We need it every day, to live, to survive, and to stay independent - our body. We need our legs and feet to walk, our hands to do something, to grab something. But what would you do if you lose the control of your body? When others do these things for you? They feed you, they take you out of bed, they move you from one point to the other? This can happen when you get older, and weaker. When your body doesn’t want anymore what you want. But it can happen to all of us at every moment of our lives.

You maybe remember that once I wrote about Samuel Koch who had an accident on a German TV show and since then he’s paraplegic. He wanted to jump over moving cars with special jumping stilts. He did this for several years, he loved that and never had anything happened. But in the show he fell, and even surgery couldn’t cure him. He is now working on his acting career, praying a lot and keeps asking why this had to happen to him. The accident happened in December 2010. He is now 25 years old. But he doesn’t stop fighting, life goes on.

So this can happen to all of us, at any time. An accident, a disease, and then from one moment to the other we need someone to take care of us. Some people are unable to move from the start of their life. Their families have to take care of them. Be there 24/7. What kind of life is this? I heard about a man named Mark O’Brien, a poet, paralyzed from the neck down due to polio. Last year there was movie called “The Sessions” made about him and his life. How must it be like, when you are unable to do anything on your own? When you are just lying in your bed? At least he can talk to people, but he can’t touch them. The touch is the most important sense we have, we can’t survive without love and without touching and being touched.

It starts when you are a baby. You love it when your parents hold you in your arms. This is the only way to let you fall asleep. You need the touch when your Mom changes your diapers, or feed you. Through all your life, touches are the main things you need. It shows that there is someone who loves you and takes care of you. In these days we live right now, people don’t wanna show love that much, don’t wanna share it that much anymore. We touch others less than a few years ago, but this doesn’t mean that we don’t need it. And especially not that we don’t want it, does it?

But imagine you just can’t touch the person you love? As much as you want to, you simply can’t? Or you can’t do anything when you don’t like to be touched by someone? How would you feel? When I read about the movie, I have to admit I haven’t seen it yet, these questions popped up in my mind. It must be like you’re trapped in your own body. When you can’t control it, can’t tell it what you want to do. It must be very hard and I guess we should think about this more often. Think about how lucky we are, that we can use our body the way we want to, that we have the chance to touch the people we love, and that we are not completely and utterly at somebody’s mercy.

Watch here the official trailer of “The Sessions”

Pope Chuck, P.I.

Do you think about our new Pope? Who could it be? What country could he come from? Can you imagine Chuck Lorre as new Pope (despite the fact he’s Jewish)? Do you even care who’s gonna be the next Pope?
The Catholic Church was often discussed in the past years, not every time it was about good things. I am Catholic, and I am a believer but there are some things I simply don’t get. Why not equal rights for everyone? Why should a woman not have a chance to be Pope? I am sure she can do that, too. A few years ago, when only men were doing politics, some of them might have smiled, or laughed when a lady dared to say something, dared to have an opinion. But these women proved that they can also do that, and now men and women work together. And it works.

Within the next weeks the Cardinals will decide who will be the next Pope, after Benedict XVI retired. Saturday Night Live already showed him how he could spend his retirement. Christoph Waltz did a good job representing him. I simply love this, and if you haven't seen it, you can watch it here.

Even Chuck Lorre wrote in his vanity card  #409 about the Pope. Who might be the next? And how does “Pope Cuck” sound like? Could this be possible? This man has proved that he can do a lot, so why not Pope? At least he could write, like he suggested on his VC, a new sitcom called "Pope Chuck, P.I." (Kiss the ring, or get punched by it!). I laughed so much, when I read this. This man would definitely bring fun to the church, and help it to finally arrive in the 21^st century. Because sometimes it still seems that the church is stuck in the medieval times. There are people like Homer Simpsons who go to church every week (I know that he is Protestant, but anyway he's a good example, and by the way I don't think that there are that big differences between Catholics, Protestants and Jewish people), but he doesn't like it much because he doesn’t wanna hear what happened 2,000 years ago. That’s history. It should be more modern, tell us why the stories back then are still important in our everyday life. Some points of view just have to be changed or updated, because the times have changed, too.

Don't get me wrong, I don't wanna complain, I just wanna say that some things should be reconsidered. Like in some cases there can’t be a strict yes or no. There was a discussion about abortion and that the Church is totally against it. I support this, no doubt, every life is worth to live and I probably wouldn't, couldn't do that to my unborn child if I’d be pregnant. But what if a girl was raped? What if she was the victim and doesn’t want to be reminded of what happened to her? Can you just say ‘no’? Or don't allow her to take the morning-after pill, right after it happened? (Like in Germany, when a woman went to two Catholic hospitals but both sent her away without treatment, because they couldn't give her the pill)
Isn’t it the Church that says, everyone has his free will? Sure that the kid can’t do anything for what happened, he or she already lives before he/she is born and is a wanted child of the Lord. But what is about the free will of the mother? Okay, this might be an extreme case, but sometimes such cases are needed to show that there cannot always be a strict yes or no.
And why can cardinals and priests not marry? Why can’t women become priests? Why can’t gay people marry? Isn’t there this one sentence in the Bible that every person is equal?

Galatians 3:28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.

St. Peter's Dome -
picture by David Ohmer

No, it really doesn’t matter who will be the next Pope. It’s not on me to decide. I can understand Benedict XVI that he feels too weak to do this job anymore. He did a good job, and hey, he’s the first Pope tweeting. What a progress! I do believe the Pope will be heard and is still very important – and so the whole world is interested, like back in 2005, who will be the next one. So we wait till the white smoke will come from the chimney. The next Pope won’t be Christoph Waltz, and Chuck Lorre mentioned many reasons why even he can’t do that (and by the way: that man is busy enough, and we can’t let him do everything!). But whoever is gonna be our next Pope, he’ll remind us that the most important things in life are timeless and priceless, and love always wins over hate. We are all one in Christ Jesus. May God bless you.

You can read Chuck Lorre’s vanity card about “Pope Chuck”, and all the others he wrote, on his website.

There can be only one

sure it's beautiful, but do we really need this to be happy?
picture by Sarah Ackerman

What are the most important things in your life? The things you can’t live without? What makes you really happy? Have you ever thought about these questions? I am sure you have. I often ask myself that, mostly when I spend the day at a shopping mall. There are the kids who say: “Mommy, I want that.” or “Daddy, can you buy me that?” Some of the parents roll their eyes, saying they already bought their kids a new toy, or they have something similar, or they don’t have much money anymore to buy it. But kids are kids, the way they look at their parents – yes, they know how to get what they want. Teenagers aren’t differently, they go shopping with their friends, but after they asked their parents for money. They want the new smartphone, or an iPod, new clothes, or whatever. And adults? Well, women never have enough shoes, these two words simply don’t fit together. Men want a jersey, sports stuff, or tools like a drill to prove that they can do everything on their own. But do they need all that stuff? Who is the kid here to tell us what we should buy, what we 'wanna' have?

For many people Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory seems to be from a parallel universe. He just likes different things, doesn’t seem to be very interested in others. Mostly it’s like he doesn’t care what others think about him. But it does make him upset, like when he taught some students physics and afterwards he read their tweets about his lecture and he didn’t read nice stuff. He is as normal as we all are, but his interests are differently. He focuses on brainwork, and to distract himself he enjoys playing video games. But he doesn’t care about shoes or how he is dressed, like in that episode in which Penny fell in the shower and broke her arm and Sheldon had to pick her something to wear. And in this year’s Valentine’s Day episode he gave his assistant Alex 1,000 $ to find Amy a present that she likes. But in the end, he gave her a paper. A single paper that told Amy she is from now on the person to call if Sheldon has an emergency. The money was wasted on things not that important. The real gift, well, can’t be bought and therefore is much more worth. And it never loses it.

We spend lots of our time in front of the TV, we watch the news, we watch our favorite shows, sitcoms, movies. And it shows us a world, a world that’s supposed to be our world. But is this reality the real reality? There are many people out there who suffer because they don’t have much to eat or drink or are very sick. But do we compare ourselves to them? No, we watch the Hollywood glamour, and wish to have such a life. A life in the spotlight, a life without any money problems. Are these the greatest worries we could have these days? Why do we need so much money? Because we see these people and we want that big house, we want these expensive gowns, and we want all these super cool gadgets. The question is: do we need them? Do we really want them or do we only want these things because others have them?

do we always need the newest fashion to be happy?
picture by Bert Kaufmann

Do we already live in our self-constructed world, in our own TV world? Does it affect us that much, that it shows us a reality that is not real and we wanna do everything to make this real and forget the real reality? And wouldn’t that make us a bit like Sheldon, who doesn’t seem to be interested in the real world, but instead thinks he can do everything on his own and prefers to live on the starship Enterprise? Sometimes we all wanna go to another place, to escape from our everyday life. The TV helps us to distract. But it gets better and better, and some can’t distinguish TV world from real world anymore. But that is its intense. Like a kid looking into their Mommy’s eyes: “I want that. Buy me that.” And what does Mommy? She buys her kid what he wants, and is happy that he is happy.

But isn’t it the sparkle in our kid’s eyes that makes us happy? It’s not about the money we spent. When I go to the mall I mostly love to spend time with my friends. When we were at school we saw each other almost every day, but things have changed. I have realized that time is the most precious thing we have, so I just enjoy the time. It doesn’t matter what I buy, or if I buy anything at all. The TV is our starship Enterprise, our escape. But like Sheldon we can’t stay there forever, we have to come back to the real world. Don’t get trapped, don’t let TV manipulate you, show you some commercials and stuff, trying to convince you, that you need this for being happy. If you really wanna be happy, spend time with the ones you love, because no money can ever bring you back the time.