Monday, December 31, 2012

Things I never did...

... will always remain things I never really knew.

Do you have New Year's resolutions? I do. And there was only one I had for 2012 and didn't do, and that will be the one that I'll definitely do as soon as possible. A new year is often seen as a new chance to change things, some see it as some kind of motivation. People wanna do more sports or quit smoking. I guess these two are the all time faves of many people. And I should do more sports, too, so it's also one of my plans for next year.

But there is so much more out there. Why not trying something completely new? There is a world out there, offering so much, way more than we are aware of. So much stuff that I haven't dared to do, like bungee jumping, because I'm just too scared. I have acrophobia, not when I'm on a plane, or I feel safe like standing on a high building with a secure handrail, but when I don't feel safe, ohh my. This is why I can't spend a night in a tree house, or walk on a pendant bridge. And the next thing why I'll probably not do bungee jump would be the free fall, to lose the ground and just fall. And hoping that the rope won't break. But I guess if I could overcome my fear, I might like it, but if I don't try I'll never know for sure.

So that's one of my resolutions: overcome my fears. Fears are good to have and they keep us from doing mistakes or something we might regret one day, but it also feels good after you did something the first time. It made you proud, proud of yourself that you made it. I don't say you all should go bungee jumping, but thinking of something you never did and just do it. There are so many things out there. Maybe you read about something you never heard of before, or someone told you about it - it's always best to do something with your partner or a friend. Be curious, don't only do things you used to do all your life, try something new. Maybe you think you don't like it, maybe you are afraid to fail, to lose your stability, to come out of your comfort zone, but it's worth a try.

New Year gives the chance to change something. To have the will to do it. One of my fave quotes this year was from the sitcom Ben and Kate. I also tweeted that in November because it is so true:

"You need to go out there and try stuff. And don't worry about not succeeding because trying is succeeding."

I had a really great 2012, and I hope you also have great memories. I still can't believe that it's already over, because it seems to me it just started. I thank you all for stopping by, commenting and sharing some of your time reading my posts. This means a lot to me!!! And no matter if you have New Year's Resolutions or not, I wish you all a wonderful 2013!!!

As this is the last post in my first blogging year, I'd like to share with you my fave song from the musical Sister Act which I watched last Saturday and absolutely loved it. When I was looking for just the song on youtube yesterday, I found that someone filmed that scene. Great voices and wonderful lyrics.

Happy 2013 my Blogger friends!!!!

Friday, December 28, 2012

The bought beauty

What makes someone beautiful?
picture by Robby Mueller
These days it seems like everything is possible and there are no limits anymore. When we don’t like something, we just change it. Also the look can be changed very easily. And I mean not the clothes you are wearing. More and more people love to put on some makeup, and feel better afterwards. It’s not a big thing and also I love to wear some mascara, that everyone can see I have eyelashes, because they are that bright that without mascara someone might think I don’t have any, and that looks weird. But in my mind kids shouldn't wear that. And I have seen a few moms who dress their kids like ladies, and also let them wear lots of makeup.

Some guys love other colors, like tattoos. Pictures can be drawn all over the body, and so people can even get addicted to them. They feel in a way empty without the tattoos. I think tattoos are okay. I once actually thought about having a small one on my own, but I don’t think if I could dare to do that. I guess when people want one, the tattoo should have a meaning for them. I thought of a butterfly holding a key. The key is the symbol that I can open every door, so when a door closes in my life, another door will appear and I have the opportunity to open that. And a butterfly came out of the dark, had finally learned to fly, is independent and colorful.

Some guys even go further. I only have to say two words: plastic surgery. If they don’t like their nose, their chin, their breast or whatever, they go to the doctor and let it change the way they want it to. Plastic surgery exists way longer than some of you might think of. Even Marilyn Monroe let some parts of her body correct by a surgeon.

For me this goes a bit too far. I mean when you broke your nose and want that it looks again like it did before that happened, such surgeries are great. A surgery is always a risk, but people don’t think about that. It lets me think of how far would some people go to look perfectly, and can this perfect look ever be reached? I mean it’s like an addiction, once started they want more and more. It’s like when you have something, and then you wanna change it, improve it, make it better or just different. But is this really necessary? Can you understand these people? How far would you go for your beauty? Ever considered one or two of the mentioned things? And why do you think is the look of a person so important these days?

Deutsche Welthungerhilfe

This blog post is a part of the I follow my heart project 

For 50 years the German ‘Welthungerhilfe’ helps people worldwide who have nothing or not much to live. They support people like on Haiti or Kuba. After hurricane Sandy had destroyed lots of the few things they had, 33.000 people were hit hard by that hurricane, 45 people were reported dead on Haiti. It’s no question that Sandy destroyed a lot, many people still have to suffer these days. The ‘Welthungerhilfe’ supports them and other people who have less, and/or were hit hard by such a natural disaster. They want to help these people to improve their lives.

Hurricanes in Nicaragua, north of Costa Rica, are very often. In September 2007 hurricane Felix destroyed many wells, buildings and medical care stations. The people don’t have much to drink, because the wells are often leaky and dirty. Drinkable water is getting less because of that, so when people drink out of the well, the chance is high that they get sick. Another problem is that they don’t have much to eat, and so they are more prone to become sick.
The ‘Welthungerhilfe’ helps the residents to build new houses, sanitary installations and repair the damaged wells. They also help the people planting fruits and vegetables and give them advices how to take care of it, and how to sell the not needed goods most effectively.

The ‘Welthungerhilfe’ does a lot to help people who need the help the most. I think it’s a very good cause, and when you click on their website you see how much they’ve already done and what they still do. You can also donate some money, they will use it to help human beings who really needs it. Inform yourself about it, talk about it, share the website. Many people should know about this and get the chance to help. We could be like them, and wouldn’t we be happy if someone out there would help us? We might complain a lot about our lives, but in my mind, it could have been much more worse.

picture taken by John Martinez Pavliga

For more on Deutsche Hungerhilfe go to (website is in German)

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Merry Christmas

I wish you all a Merry Christmas. I hope you have wonderful holidays with your families and loved ones.
As a little Christmas gift I thought of translating something I found on the internet a few years ago. It's about how a magazine article would have looked like if Jesus was born this year. It might be a bit overdone, so please don't take it too serious!!!!  Unfortunately I don't know anymore from where I have it or who is the author, because I found it this year again on my computer just as a WORD document, after I checked everything I had on it and deleted some old stuff. I guess people these days would react like that if it happened just like 2,000 years ago. So I hope you won't feel offended in any way, it's not making fun of them, as I love the story from the Bible, but anyway I like that 'article' and so I want to share it with you.
For me Christmas is the time of the year to spend with my family, to sit together and chat. Time is so precious, and the moment we have right now will never come back again. So I enjoy to see them healthy and happy, all together, make them even more happy when I can fulfill them a wish. Thinking of them, making them a gift to say 'thank you for letting me be part of your life'.

So here is my Thank you to you. Thanks for stopping by, taking some time to read and maybe also comment what I post here on my blog. I wish you blessed holidays and hope you like that 'a bit different' version of The Christmas Story:

Infant found in a manger

BETHLEHEM. A worried man called the police early in the morning. While he was going for a walk with his dog, he heard a baby crying. He came closer and saw a young family in a stable. Their baby was lying in a manger. After the police arrived, the officers figured out that the baby’s mother is Mary H. from Nazareth, only 14 years old. 
While the police men tried to take mother and child to the police office, a man who could be identified as Joseph H. from Nazareth, wanted to stop them. Joseph got help from three attendant shepherds, and three unidentified foreign residents. They all wanted to stop the police men taking the child with them, but the police handled the situation. They arrested the foreigners who pretended to be the “three wise men” from an Eastern country. 
The Department of the Interior and the customs office are looking for some hints to find out from where the men exactly come, as they are probably illegal in the country. The spokesman of the police said that none of them had an ID, but lots of gold and some maybe prohibited substances. The men defended themselves and said, that God told them to go home immediately and don’t say anything to the state authorities. The chemicals they were carrying are for investigation in the crime lab.
The whereabout of the child won’t be published by now. That this case will be closed soon is very doubtful. A co-worker of the welfare agency told us: “The father is middle-aged and the mother is definitely underage. We are currently checking their relationship.”
Mary was brought to the hospital in Bethlehem for medical and psychiatric tests. Her mental condition will be examine carefully, because she said that she’s still a virgin and the infant’s father is God.
The head of the psychiatry wrote an official anouncement: “I don’t tell anybody what to believe, but when their belief puts their baby at risk, like in this case, I have to classify these people as dangerous. The fact that some kind of drugs, probably brought from the foreign residents, were also near the infant, strengthens my opinion. But I’m quite sure that in a few years all of them will be fine again when they accept the individual treatment and work well with the doctors.”
The last informaton we got, was from the attendant shepherds who claimed that a very tall man in a white nightgown and with wings (!) told them to go to the stable and celebrate the newborn’s birth. The spokesman of the drug squad said about that: “That is really the most silly excuse of stoned junkies I’ve ever heard.”

picture from psdeluxe

Friday, December 21, 2012

Welcome new world

Imagine you waited for something and then nothing happened at all. People told you so many things and you were excited, though you were also quite sure that it's more like a fairytale than an actual 'thing'. Anyway, so many talked about it. It was in the newspaper, in magazines, on the TV and radio. Some guys even did a movie about it. So you were waiting, till that day. The big day. Everything will change, nothing will be what it was.

The day is today. But what has changed? When I look outside my window all seems pretty normal. It's cloudy and it rains a bit, but that's all. No flood or storm that is taking everything away. No burning sky. Nothing. Just another day. So what had happened? What was the big change? What did some people expect to happen?

I am not a scientist, though I'm very interested in it, and I never believed in the story. Why should this be the end of the world, of our existence? Only because the Mayan calendar ended today? So this is it: the Mayan Apocalypse. The big end of the world we know. Everyone seemed to be afraid, counting down the days, but it was more or less just like a show. Because people bought tons of Christmas presents, spent lots of money anyway.  And if today would be the last day, we would not have another Christmas anymore. So I guess not really lots of people believed in this.
Maybe it was only something to talk about, a topic for everyone. I mean we all live on this planet, so when it will disappear, we all will disappear, too.

You don't have to be a scientist to know that it's illogical. Why would the world end from one day to the next? Did some people expect another big bang or something? Or are we now just in another universe, or does everything still looks the same but it's not? Is this the end of people fighting against each other, of all the bad stuff that happened? Is it the end of politicians who stop talking and finally start doing something?

Do we want a change? Yes. Do we need it? Yes. Many people realized that. It only makes me sad, that something so bad had to happen. But that change, thinking differently about guns and weapons, started last week. It had nothing to do with the Mayans. Life is what makes, inspires us and let us think differently, and not a calendar. No end can be predicted. And we would be way more frightened when this would be possible. We have to enjoy our life, learn from the mistakes we made. That's how we change. In fact every day is a new chance for a change. Every day can be a new start. The end is not here, but the beginning is. As often as people talked about the apocalypse, it never happened. It can only be predicted in a movie, but we're not in a movie.

Nothing has changed. Today is just another day, another day closer to Christmas. Another beginning. We celebrate Jesus' birth. Then there will be a new year, another start. So when one day passed by, the next will come. That's the only thing we know for sure. And the apocalypse? Well, the end never comes alone, it's always followed by the beginning. So maybe it is today, but when it is, it will also be tomorrow and the day after tomorrow. Just imagine there is an apocalypse, but nobody notices.

Monday, December 17, 2012


Since last Friday that's the only question I have in my head. Why? I keep asking myself that, but there's no answer. I can't find one. Nothing would explain why this had to happen. There is no explanation for that. I don't have any words for it. What brings someone to do that? To shoot at small children?

This all made me very sad, and all my thoughts and prayers go to the families of the victims. The gunman took 27 lives, and destroyed their families. Kids who will never come back, who will never smile, never play, never laugh again. They died, and big parts of their parents died too. How hard must it be for them? No one can put that into words.

When I firstly read about it on Twitter, I read an article which was about a teacher trying to protect the kids and calm them down when even she was horrified. The kids were frightened, and one said: "I only want to be home for Christmas." And the teacher replied: "You'll all have Christmas and Hanukkah. All will be fine."
That really touched me and I had tears in my eyes.

Christmas is the time people should come together, families come together. We all work the whole year, some do that far away from their parents and families or have to travel a lot, but on Christmas - we are all together. Christmas and also Hanukkah are both holidays that remind us of the good things that happen, holidays of love and joy. I don't want to think about next week, when I think of the families who lost their angels.

So, there's still the question: Why? WHY? A question that is mostly asked by kids, kids who are curious, kids who want to know, want to learn things, to be prepared for life, to have their own life. That's why they go to school. But 20 kids can never ask anymore. 12 girls and 8 boys - all only 6 or 7 years old. Innocent people who had their whole life ahead. Now the whole world asks the one question: Why?

Where do we live when not even at school our kids are safe? - Just one of many questions I read on the internet. Questions that keeps me thinking and sad. It was not because of the teachers, no, they protected the children, tried to calm them down. Like Vickie Soto, 27, she's a real hero for me. She died because she shielded the kids, saved some of them. She loved them all, loved to teach. She gave her life trying to protect them.

Today are the first funerals. The funerals of young children who are supposed to live. Who are supposed to have a life. I'm thinking of the kids, teachers and their families. Praying. Hoping that such a tragedy will never happen again. And I keep asking WHY?

Don't let us forget the victims. 
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Sunday, December 9, 2012

The grown-up simulation

Kids want to become an adult as quickly as possible. But what when they are one? When they reach a point in life and want to be a kid again? Having such an easy-going life, a huge fantasy in which everything can happen. What a peaceful world. They don't have responsibility for anything, they just live and every single day is a new adventure. Children play the whole day, they get a register and play bank teller. And the next day they are a doctor. Kids can be whatever they want, whenever they want it. Isn't that great? And their parents protect them no matter what they do.

It's great to be a kid, but so often we want the opposite of what we have, of what we are. So a kid wants to have more rights, makes her own decisions, and doesn't want to hear stuff like "this is a grown-up talk, go playing". I heard that when I was a kid, mostly when we visited my grandma once a week. So my mom wanted to talk to her mom, which I can understand now, but back then... Well, when you are a kid, you have to be the number 1. You want your family to go where you want to go, you want to talk with them about your favorite topics and play with them when and what you want. But one day you'll realize, life is not only about you.

When I started to watch The Big Bang Theory about 1 1/2 years ago, and saw some videos on youtube afterwards, I could not understand why so many guys like Sheldon. He seemed to me the weirdest person of them all. But after I saw Jim doing interviews, I started to like him and so I kept focusing on Sheldon. I still see Jim in him, and so I like him now too, but I think people like Sheldon for what he is. Just himself. He is like a kid, who loves to play and who loves to be the number 1. And to be honest: who doesn't like that?

The thing is when we get older, we try to fit in, like to a group of people. We want to be liked by others, and because they are not our parents of who we can be sure that they like is no matter what we do, say or how we look like, we start acting. But sometimes when we act too much, we can lose ourselves in it. And this is when we stop being who we really are. The best thing of being a kid is, being simply yourself. They do not care that much what others think about them, because they know one thing certainly, and that is the only thing that really matters: my parents will love me.

Acting the whole time can be exhausting. It's a hard job, but we want to fit into the society, and so we go out, every single day, not playing, but acting. Life is a play, the stage is everywhere we go and we are the protagonists of our own play, doing our best that the audience, the people around us, like what they see. That they want to get in touch with us, maybe even work with us. We want to be loved, and think the more people love us the better. You can see that on Twitter or Facebook. When kids grow older and become teenagers they mostly think they are only great when the have thousands of followers or friends. But is that amount important? Does this mean I am not likeable only because I don't have as many followers as Lady Gaga?

Even Sheldon is growing up now, realizing that a relationship is between two people, and both are important. Life is not about one person. We all need each other. We can't expect people to like us, when we don't show that these guys are important to us, too. We want to be their number 1, and they want to be our number 1, it's all about give and take. And isn't it great to take care of someone you love? No matter how far his relationship will go, he will always stay Sheldon. A man who loves to play, to might do some stuff of which some other guy might say it's odd. But who cares? The people who are important will like him anyway, for just the way he is. That he dares to be himself.

I'll always be on your side
We need to grow up, to get through life, but we should also keep our childish side. We shouldn't stop playing, we should allow us to do sometimes some childish things, and think less about what others could think about us. You can act, and when someone's not liking you, just say you acted the wrong way, but it's braver to act who you really are. People who don't like you then, aren't worth to be part of your life. Because it's not important how many people like you, it's important that you are liked by the persons you love. And the ones who really love you, like your family and friends, love you the way you are, and not what you try to pretend to be.

Friday, November 30, 2012

First think, then do

You might have heard this week that 'Two and a half men' star Angus T. Jones said some, well, not nice stuff about the show he's on. He said he doesn't want to be there anymore, called it 'filth' and added that he also doesn't want his fans to watch the show anymore. I was very shocked when I heard that because I never thought he would say something like that. The guy who plays Jake Harper always seemed nice and smart to me. I mean I never thought he is like the character he's playing, but well, this was anything else than smart. Who would ever dare to speak so bad about his job? Okay we do complain, not everything is good all the time, but we don't do that on the internet, where everyone can listen.

It's not because we are not that popular like he is, I guess our bosses would find the video if we would make one, put it on youtube and complaing how bad our job and the company is. Probably they would like to talk to us, convince us to apologize and that is what Angus did. But did he really mean it? I mean, what happened that he said such bad stuff? What is true? What does he really think about the show who made him that successful and rich (he earns 350.000 $ per episode)? I mean where would he be without the show? He grew up with it, spent almost 10 years with these guys.

As you all know he was not the first one who caused the show trouble. Charlie Sheen made some videos in which he talked not that nice about the show, too. And now Angus. I keep asking myself how long the show still can exist and if the next will be Jon Cryer complaining about something. When the people who work on there don't believe in the show, and when there is not only one but two persons now, I honestly don't know how long the show still can go on. They have to give 100 %, they have to love and enjoy what they do and appreciate that maybe without the show they wouldn't be that successful.

no one wants to hear a complaint - but what can be done that no one dares to complain? (pic taken from bedandbreakfastworld)
I would never talk bad about my job, at least not on the internet. I've heard of many guys who lost their jobs because their bosses found them on Facebook and read what they wrote about the company. They made a screenshot and had a proof, the employee had no chance to deny it. So you don't have to be a celebrity and think no one will ever find you on the internet because it is that huge and you are just a single person. Everyone can be easily found, and on Facebook is much easier.

Do you watch 'Two and a half men' and what do you think does Angus really think about the show? Has someone convinced him to complain, or has someone convinced him to apologize? And do you think the show will last that much longer or could this 10th season already be the last one? Have you ever said anything bad about your job on the internet, and had it any consequences, or have you thought about it?

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Live every single moment

I wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving. I hope you can enjoy that day with your family and friends. It wasn't that long ago that I wrote about so many things in our lives we take for granted and don't really appreciate that we are lucky to have them. The most precious things in life can't be paid with any money. I would be nothing without my family and friends, who always support me, who are always there for me. I am really deeply grateful for having them in my life.

Another thing we often don't really appreciate is time. That we have this time to spend, that we have the chance to live - these things are unique, these things are special. We often complain about the things we don't have, instead of being thankful for what we have. So many things we only recognize when we lost them. In my mind, that's very sad. Life offers so much to be grateful for. That we have this life, that we can live, that we are healthy, that we have a family and friends who take care of us, that we have a home which is not about the building but, like the heart, about the people who are in there, that we can breathe, that we can smell, hear and listen, taste and the only sense we can't live without: touch.

We can feel, people can touch us, not only by actually touching us. Some touch our heart, make us cry, make us laugh. I thank every person who stepped into my life: at school, at work, at college, on blogger or twitter. It's great to get in touch with all of you. I wouldn't be the person who I am right now, if anything would have happened differently. Sometimes we meet people, and one day we figure out their real truth. That can hurt, that can upset, but in the end we realize that this made us stronger. Also the bad times we have to go through are part of our personality, part of the person we are right now.

I do think that not only people we meet in person can change and inspire us. Also people from TV, singers, actors, writers, maybe also politicians, or any other person we once heard about can do that. When they do or say something that maybe reminds us of our own, or when they just do something really kind, generous or something you wish to do but never dared. What ever it is, all of these guys can change us and are part of our life. We take our time to spend being interested in them, in their work. Spending time with someone is the greatest gift we can give. Time never comes back, and so every little moment. Maybe you think that a little moment means nothing compared to your entire life, but aren't all these little moments our life?

picture taken from hhdwallpapes

So thank you for taking your time to read this. Thanks for visiting my blog. Have a very happy Thanksgiving!!

What are you thankful for? How do you spend your Thanksgiving?

Sunday, November 18, 2012


This blog post is a part of the I follow my heart project 

 “The spirit of a man will sustain him in sickness, but who can bear a broken spirit?” 

Kids should be kids. They should play with their friends, have fun and living a good life with their family. A family that protects them, takes care of them and gives them love. But unfortunately not every kid is blessed with that. So many children lost their parents way too early and so they need others to help them. Like OperationSAFE, that is run by volunteers and short-term teams.
picture taken from the OperationSAFE-website
So many bad things happen every single day. You receive a bad message from your doctor, someone of your family suffers or someone you loved had died. It is hard for us to go through this, to understand why such a bad thing had happened to us. But imagine you would still be a child. Wouldn’t it be so much worse? Children understand such a disaster even less than an adult. Why did this happen to them? Why had their parents left them? Left them all alone? They keep asking themselves such questions and they will never forget what happened to them.

Maybe they also think they have done something wrong, and that’s the punishment. But of course that is not true. When an earthquake or another natural disaster caused the death of their parents and they have to live in an orphanage, they might not feel loved. These kids are loved but not by the ones they love: their own parents. They miss them, miss the safety they gave them. So when a kid gets affected by such a horrible disaster, they suffer much more than a grown-up, and so they need special help. OperationSAFE takes care of these children. They teach them the five important principles to emotional recovery and survival.

After such a disaster had happened and the kids know that they won’t see their parents again, they feel left alone. So the first thing for them is to realize that they are not. There are still people who love them and take care of them, because everyone is important. Life is a gift, and everyone is worth living his or her life. So they should make new friends and talk to them, it’s not about to give up but to look forward. Believe in yourself and follow your heart. Stay courageous and strong. You’ll realize that you are loved.

Stories, crafts, songs and games help these kids to regain hope. They make friends, communicate with each other, and try to forget. They won’t forget, but together they can get through it all a bit better and easier. OperationSAFE does a great job in my mind, that’s why I wanted to write about their work. I think it’s really impressive and a great thing. Children should be allowed to have a good childhood, they should not suffer, they should not have to go through such pain and think life is only about that. They should firstly see the beautiful sides of life. So when something so horrible happened to them, they need help of others to realize that they are not alone, that they are loved and life goes on. Everyone working for OperationSAFE shows us, that life really has very good, kind and generous sides, too.

For more on OperationSAFE go to


This is a new poem I wrote lately. Would love to read your comments about it. What does home mean to you?

Long time I was walking,
walking on a bumpy road.
Seeking for that place,
the place everyone’s talking about.
The place where I feel safe.
Where I feel at home.

I went by bus, by plane,
to saw places all over the world.
I travelled a lot,
because no one told me where that place is.
But where do people go to,
when they say they go home?

What is home?
And where is home?
Some say it’s where you grew up.
Some say it’s where your family lives.
Some say it’s just where you feel happy.

I want to feel happy,
and so I started walking.
Because I want to be happy,
I want to have a family, my family.
Some say that I’ll know it when I am home.
One day my searching was over.
When I met this guy,
and he showed it to me.
Home is not a place where you can go to,
it’s not under water, not in the sky,
it’s not a building.

You can go wherever you want,
and your home will be with you.
When you once found it,
and you are accepted,
that’s when you are at home.

Because home is where you feel happy,
where you feel safe.
And where can it be better
than in the heart of the one you love?

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Veneration of the deceased

Have you ever thought about burning your money? Your iPad or even your car? Well, in China people do that. They buy all these stuff to burm them. You don't believe that? You think they are crazy because who would buy something to burn it afterwards? And who would even burn money?

iPad and iPod mode of paper, picture taken from
Well, all that stuff is made of paper. The Chinese buy things for their beloved ones who recently passed away. They buy what they think the deceased would need in their afterlife. So they go to special stores and buy there cars, chairs, any kind of devices, whatever they like, but all made of paper, and burn it all at the funeral. The Chinese believe that otherwise the ghosts of the deceased would come to them in their dreams and ask for stuff to enjoy their afterlife.

I think though it's a bit sad to burn this awesome and really well-made things, which look totally real. I also think that it's a nice touch and a good thing. I mean, the Chinese think that life still continues in some way and want to help their beloved ones who left this world to enjoy their afterlife. But in my mind it's more for the bereaved people. I guess this helps them to believe that the deceased are still happy and have everything they need.

What do you think about that way to honor the deceased?

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Night of lights

The nights get darker and colder. Soon Christmas will come again. Can you imagine that? Already Christmas? Don’t get me wrong, it’s my fave time of the year. Not only because of the presents that I get, okay they are not bad, but I mostly enjoy the time with my family. This year my cousin from Crete will come again with her son and hubby. I don’t see them very often, so I am even more happy to see them. Christmas shows me that everyone of my family is healthy and we are all together, and what can be more important?

As a kid I loved the presents the most, but the older I became, the more I realized that there are things much more important that what someone bought me. The most precious things in life can’t be bought and can’t be replaced, can’t be fixed. Life is unique. And so is your health. And time. So when you sit together with your family, the ones you love, you can forget all your stress you had at work and everything bad that happened in the last year. You simply have time, time to spend with those who you appreciate the most. That moment is unique, that moment can’t be replaced.

The time before Christmas is also very important. Like St. Martin’s day. I don’t know if you know that story about a monk named Martin who cut his cloak in half to share it with a beggar to protect him from dying because of a snow storm and the incredibly coldness. In that night Martin dreamed about Jesus, who appeared to him as the beggar wearing the other half of his cloak and said to the angels:  "Here is Martin, the Roman soldier who is not baptised; he has clothed me."

In Germany the kids celebrate that night of the 11th November every year. They walk through that cold night in groups, carrying their self-created paper lanterns, which they made at home or in school, to light up the night. In the lanterns are mostly real candles, not only to bring light but also warmth to the people who need it.

I remember walking with my lantern back when I was a kid. Though it was cold, I loved it. It is something really good and shows how important it is to share something that can’t be bought. It means so much more and it brings the spirit of Christmas. Giving. To see the ones who really need help, and help them, at least by thinking of them. I mean everyone of us could be such a person who needs help, right? By seeing and realizing that, you appreciate even more the time you are able to spend with your family, healthy and together. And it doesn’t have to be Christmas to do that.

Kids walking with their lanterns (pic taken from wikipedia)

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Living in a hologram?

In the Halloween episode of the Big Bang Theory, Leonard showed Penny the hologram of a pencil and told her that the string theory ‘thinks’ that we all live in a hologram, or at least, this can be possible. It reminded me a bit of what I wrote about the 5th season and what it meant to me. ‘This is not what it looks like’ (you find and can read the story when you click on the tab 'My work'). That was the main sentence of the 5th season of the show, and I still love to think about that. I mean, who says what anything looks like?

For those who have read ‘What are you really looking for?’, you might remember that the girl who just appeared, changed the way the guys saw the set, but nothing had really changed. It was some sort of hologram that I thought of, so when I saw that scene I was thinking about exactly that. When you have read a physics book, then you know that what we see isn’t actually there like that. It’s like the computer, which needs only 0 and 1, but what we see and what it is able to show us, is much more than the two numbers.

Same it is in real life. There are only atoms, no form, no colors, nothing. This is all our imagination. You say I’m kidding? No, read a physics book, it’s in there. The way atoms react with each other gives everything its forms and they way the sun reflects on them causes the colors we see. That was a very easy explanation, the truth is a bit more complicated. But when I first read about that, I was really impressed.
I mean that our eyes see things, and our brain turns it upside down to create a senseful picture, that’s what probably all of us know from Biology. But our eyes see no pictures, it’s like the 0 and 1 in the computer. Our brain creates the picture out of the data given by the eyes. So what something looks like is depending on what our brain let us see. With that knowledge I had the idea that when someone would figure out the ‘atom-code’, so the actual atom composition of each body, they could figure out which atoms are needed to change the way the brain creates its picture and you see something totally different instead of what is really there.

Maybe we do live in a hologram, maybe what we see isn’t the reality. It’s just our imagination, but not like in a dream life that we can simply change the way we see it. So often we only see what we wanna see, that’s no question. But maybe the one who once 'programmed' us, wanted us to see it like we see it. I mean if we would live in a world in which we were only able to see atoms, wouldn't this be very weird? 
Maybe there’s so much unexplored, so much that we yet not know, that we’re not aware of.

Sunday, November 4, 2012

Pilot of Artists of Life

Here it is: the pilot of my first self-created sitcom called Artists of Life. I really hope you guys will like it and have fun reading it.

Please write me what you think of the story, the characters, what you like and what not, e.g. which scene was funny or maybe one you didn't understand. I'm gonna write some more episodes and I wanna improve it, so, also when you find any mistake, please don't hesitate to write me. Thanks.

I once asked on Twitter how to name the two main characters. And so goes some special and big THANKS to Cliff who gave Brent his name and Briony who named Gary. I hope you like 'your' characters ;)

So here is the link to the PDF. You can read it online or download it for free on your computer or any other device. But please don't change and/or distribute it in any way. If you wanna publish it or parts of it, please write me first. Thanks.

Last but not least some background info: In the scene in which Gary and Brent sit at the kitchen table, talking about Gary's plan how to solve their problem paying the rent, Brent says:

'15³ people? If that's your sensation magnitude, I might should relate it to your stimulus intensity.'
He refers to the Stevens' power law which is about the relation of real change and the felt change. Imagine you hold a glass of water. When someone puts a few drops in, you don't feel that the glass is heavier but actually it is. So a drop makes the glass already heavier but until you feel that's heavier you need a few milliliters of water. So in that scene he isn't sure if Gary's plan will work, and wanna relate the huge success that Gary expects with what will actually happen.

It's really interesting, so if you wanna know more about the Stevens' power law click here or on the wikipedia site.

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Happy Halloween

I wish you all a Happy Halloween today!!! No matter what you're gonna do tonight, have fun to scare the evil ghosts ;)
Because of Halloween I wrote a lil story and poem, looked for some recipes, pictures and found a short horror movie which I really like and already tweeted a few days ago.

Arrival of the Ghosts _______________________________

It’s dark, it’s cold, it’s one of those nights, it’s coming back once again. Like every year. When the ghosts come to the people on earth, to take them on a ride, showcase them the dark sides. When the ghosts become alive, everything changes. Spider webs and pumpkins everywhere you look. Pure silence surrounds the once so crowded place. A scream can be heard out there. You are alone, in the dark. Walking along the road, not being allowed to see anything. Except darkness. Some neon lights show up, you hear screams, more screams. Lightnings. Thunderstorms. Creepy voices started to mumble. You go on walking, slowly and carefully, sneak around. You turn around. What was that? Was that a light? Is there another person? Rustling. There in the bush. Is it a bush? You can’t be sure. Your eyes don’t work here. They lie to you. So, who knows what is true? What is actually there? You stay, can’t move anymore. You want to see light, you don’t want to be alone anymore. Another lightning, another scream. Then you feel someone coming towards you. More people are coming towards you, they touch you everywhere. As much as you try, you can’t get rid of them. And then, in the blink of an eye, the light goes on and you realize you’re on a Halloween party. Surrounded by your friends. That was the trick, and now comes the treat.

Fear _______________________________

You fear the fear,
that’s what you can hear,
it’s coming near,
closer to your ear,
do you fear?
Put on the special gear,
look at someone’s rear,
who’s there to fear?
Is he really that near?
Can you hear
with your ear?
What is it that you fear?

Recipes - please click to enlarge ______________________________

recipes taken from

Suckablood _______________________________

Watch the well made short horror movie by Bloody Cuts

Impressive Bodypainting _______________________________

So I hope that I put you in the mood for Halloween with all that stuff - if you haven't been before anyway. 

Happy Scary Halloween!!!

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Raise your voice

You have a voice, so why not use it? You can say what you think, share your opinion with everyone. You take it for granted that you have a voice, but not everyone has one. So why not use it? Do you think that nothing will change when you say something? That your voice won’t count? Isn’t important? That these people do what they want anyway? But what if everyone would think like that? Would it be better if there wouldn’t be an election, only because no one goes voting?

What if no one would vote, no one would raise his or her voice? Isn’t it a great thing that you can vote? That you have the possibility to do that? Be part of your country, decide who should be allowed to decide. For your country, the country you live in. There are many people who live there and it’s not easy to do something that everyone agrees with. It’s not easy to find always the right solution.

It’s easy to promise things, promise to change everything that didn’t go well. There are lots of things to do, some might have worked and some might have not. But will Mitt Romney be better? Can he really do that? Or should we give Barack Obama four more years, to do even more?

It’s completely on you who you vote for. And maybe Sandy will change it a bit these days what you think of the President and the Governor. You might have seen the three debates, you saw what they talked about, what they said and promised. You have to inform yourself, think about with whom you agree more. Think what is best for your country. Think who has the better strategy, the better plans, the better ideas, and think if it's possible that they can realize what they promise. Because you do not just live there, you have the opportunity to co-determine and in my mind, you should do that.

So when you don’t like something, say it or nothing will ever be changed. If you’re happy the way it is, then say it or others will change it. Be part of it. Raise your voice. Not everything can work well, not everything can be something that everyone likes. Do something for your country, because you are part of it and so you should be interested in it, that it can be there for you and help you with your interests. So you can feel even more at home.

if you haven't seen the Third Presidential Debate on Foreign Policy

Monday, October 29, 2012

Sand Fantasy

"You are not alone. You've got a friend, who will help you through your pains and sorrow and will always be at your side..."
-Ilana Yahav

What do you think of when you hear or read the word 'painting'? Probably you think about a paper and pencils, or any other sort of colors. But there's a way to draw something without any colors, but with sand. When I firstly saw the videos of Ilana Yahav I was pretty amazed. This is real art. She creates such wonderful pictures. And I guess there are not many guys out there who use sand to do something like that. Here is one of her videos that I found on youtube.

For more on Ilana Yahav click on her website 

What do you think of it? Have you also found some art on youtube that you really liked? Please comment and share your fave videos!


I guess it was time again to write another poem. Please write me what you think of it. Thanks.

I know you are somewhere out there
I feel you every day.
I feel your presence,
I feel you next to me, even though I know you aren’t here.
Not with me, not in person.
Mentally you are here, close
Every day we get closer, the connection.
What hold us together?
We are meant to find each other.
One day.
I am awaiting this day.
I know it will come.
I know it will come soon.
That I can not just feel you, that I can touch you.
That I see you not only with my heart
I wanna see you with my eyes, wanna hold you in my arms.
Embrace you tight.
I wanna smell you, I wanna hold you and wanna be held.
I need you, because I love you.
I haven’t met you, but I am waiting.
Because I know my waiting will soon be over.
I am waiting for this day to come, I am waiting for you.
My fate.

Thursday, October 25, 2012

My first own sitcom: Artists of Life

Today the day has come: I’ll finally introduce you to the story and the characters of my first own sitcom called: Artists of Life.
the main characters of Artists of Life: Haley, Gary and Brent (left to right)
It’s about an actor, Gary, and his boyfriend Brent, a writer, who live together in an apartment in New York. In the pilot it starts that they are in trouble to pay their rent, but they don’t wanna give it and their dreams up. The two came to New York to work on their careers, and they still believe that they can do it. While Brent is still writing on his first book, and also writes sometimes for an economical magazine, Gary wants to play a pilot in a new play, and hopes he’ll pass the audition. And because they still believe that they will be successful one day, Gary has the idea to play a casting director, preparing himself for his own audition, and for finding the perfect new room mate who should have a regular income. But when it doesn’t work out the way they want to, they go shopping to find the perfect outfit for Gary's audition, and that's when they firstly meet Haley. A sweet, young girl, who broke up with her boyfriend recently, and wants to move out of their apartment.

It’s about the three of them, all very different, but all believers, all fighters. They all love family and that’s what brings them together.

I called it Artists of life, because life is an art. It’s not always easy to get through some situations, but we’ll get over them sooner or later with the help of our family and friends. People who are always there for us, and believe in us, sometimes even more than we believe in ourselves. These guys will hopefully cheer you up when you feel upset, and maybe show you how important family is, that different people can be stronger when they work together, and a weakness can become a strenght.

The pilot will be released on Sunday, November 4th. You’ll be able to read it on my blog, and download it as PDF, or download it directly on your Kindle, or any other e-book reader by clicking on my Movellas site. The download will be for free of course.

I’m already brainstorming on some further episodes, which will be released in a regular period after the pilot. Just like the sitcoms you know from TV, but instead of watching you can read about 20 pages per episode. I really hope you’ll like it, and if so, I’ll continue to write it. 

Please tell me what you think of the story, if you have an idea for an episode you can also write me (but then please use the contact form on the ‘Contact me’ tab, thanks). 

As you might have already seen, I made a new tab with some more on Artists of Life.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

The Big Bang Theory

For those who think the Big Bang Theory is 'only' a sitcom and haven't heard of the actual big bang yet. I tried to explain it by using the characters of the show. Hope you guys like it. Would love to read your comments.

the Big Bang Theory - picture from Wikipedia

Sheldon: First there was darkness and cold. Seemed to be nothing. But nothing is nothing. Only one smart genius is needed to prove that. Someone who thinks a lot about everything in the world, in the universe. Everything that contains this world, everything that is in there, existing. Because there is so much more than meets the eye. So much we’re not aware of. And so this one genius looks closer and finds something in the nothing. The one who thinks he’s the center of everything, the beginning. Who doesn’t need anybody else, but everybody need him, to exist, to survive. He feels like the base, the core. And he starts to show it. To show his smartness, to prove that he sees more, that he sees everything more precisely. He shows us something in the nothing. Zoom. Look closer. Can you see them? Can you see the tiny little strings? The tinier the better. Everything is in the detail. You have to remember that. Never forget what happened once.

Leonard: But it’s not only a theorist needed to let this continue. It’s not only about seeing something, and understand it. It’s also about doing. Giving the power, proving that another genius is needed, too. One who doesn’t think that much. One who just does it. He wants to get out from where he feels trapped. He wants to explore the world. He wants to do experiments, tries out new things. Even though the first genius feels comfortable the way everything is, and that everyone has his own spot in the world, the second genius knows there is more out there. And he has to force his friend to realize life is not only about thinking, and same procedures. Sometimes you have to get out of your comfort zone, to maybe find another, a better place to be. And so he raises a power, bringing the tiny strings together to a big mass. They contract. Getting bigger and brighter, and then in a sudden, they fly away. As fast as a flash, the two geniusses start to move.

Raj: They meet stars which were formed by the explosion. Some had turned to smaller and some to larger masses, the strings are clutching, and the nothing fills with even more something. Better to see for everyone. The stars were moving, but some are getting slower now. One loses his speed for a reason, but he doesn’t want to stand still. He loves to pause, to hold on, and enjoy the beauty of what is in front of him. The colors, the forms, everything. He feels like dreaming, but he wants to feel alive. He wants to meet other stars, he knows they are out there. But he can’t move. He can’t go, he needs help. As beautiful as everything around him is, he feels upset. Deep inside he misses something so badly. And when his dude comes up, and they meet other stars, he starts dreaming again. The beauty of life, one day it will come to him. One day he’ll find the brightest star, and forming a sun.

Howard: No, he’s not a rocket scientist. But he loves the space, he loves the speed. He rushes through the universe, and everything is interesting to see. The stars, the planets. Everything that is out there. And he loves to meet them all, get to know them better. Some he might only see, but can’t get that far, so he starts fantasizing. He’s maybe not the smartest, but he is looking for every chance to meet new stars. He wants to show that even he is someone special and he needs stars to prove it. So he’s like a rocket, flying through space, taking his slow friend with him. He helps him to meet other stars, and explores more and more. But one day he comes too close to the orbit. He’s attracted, can’t go anywhere else. His journey is over, the rocket has landed.

Bernadette: Though she’s not big, she’s powerful. She knows what she wants and when she wants it. She’s smart, and that’s how she got him. He’s powerless. She has to take care of him from this moment on. He felt safe in his home, his rocket. But now, he has to finally move out. He lives with her now, the rocket is gone, the reality is shown and their future ahead. Something small can expand into something big. The small ones can have the largest power. She stopped him to move any further. He’s with her, starting a new life. Tiny little creatures crawling on the earth. Coming out to see the light. Like a waitress, she serves them life, gives them love, as she has lots of love to give. Nice and endearing, but rude to everyone who wants to stop her in any way.

Amy: The tiny lives develop. They become bigger, and so their brains. It’s once again all about thinking. Thinking more closely, looking more presicely. The strings are now in the brain, forming synapses to help remembering. Remembering traditions, procedures, to remember where you belong to, where your spot in life is. The brain is needed for every being. The better the brain works, the easier the living organism can survive. The brain is a mystery like the universe. So much no one knows about it, so much no one is aware of. But one genius will find the solutions. She’s another genius who thinks as much as the first, but wants to develop, wants to see more than what’s just in her mind. She feels to be in between the tiny creatures, and what she wants to become. But she prefers what she sees as her future. And so the development continues.

Penny: Everyone of these geniuses are parts of her life. Like an actress she can play everyone. It’s on her which character she choose to play in her life. But she can do them all. She knows them very well. Every new day is another chance to 'serve', to showcase someone else, like a waitress, to the audience, the people who surround her. Like the waitress who serves life, she shows varieties of life to the people. That they can see there’s so much more out there, things we can’t make out with our eyes. The life we now know and have, needed time, needed development. Smart geniuses, all very different, are part of us right now. That girl in the end is what the brainiac wants to become, and the reason for the second genius that he forced his friend to move. Just that he can find his spot in life.

Friday, October 19, 2012

Can dreams come true?

Dream no small dreams for they have no power to move the hearts of men. 

Today I post a very spontaneous blog entry about my dream I had last night. Have you ever dreamed about your future? Normally I have dreams, or better said I can remember my dreams, when I have lots of stuff in my mind, but tonight I dreamed about my life in about 4 years. I met my former class mates, and also some of my current fellow students. We were in a train, talking, and remembering the past, our time together at school or college. It was pretty fun and I loved to see them again.
In the next scene of my dream we were all sitting in a bar, and we watched something like a movie about our school days. I don't remember that we have ever done such a video, but anyway, it reminded me in my dream how much time had passed since we did our exams. In real life it was five years ago, but in my dreams in was nine years already. I heard myself saying to one of my class mates: "We should do our next school reunion next year, because then it will be 10 years. 10 years already, can you imagine? Time is passing by so quickly."
He agreed with me, and though I don't know who exactly he was, in my dream I knew everyone. And then there was the next scene, the one I liked the most. It was me with my son. He was about two years old, and I felt that I am totally happy. I still remember his blue eyes and blonde hair. He was very tall for his age, and I couldn't stop to cuddle him. Then I wanted to switch on the TV, but the remote didn't work. After I realized I pressed the wrong button, it finally worked. I wanted to see something else than what appeared on the screen but my boy distracted me with his smile and when I watched back to the screen I saw a pink dressed Penny standing next to Leonard in a suit, both were talking and looked a bit confused. Then I realized I switched on CBS, and it was the last scene of a Big Bang Theory episode. Then the next show started and Jim appeared on the screen doing some sort of news in a funny way, just like Seth Meyers on SNL. Jim wore a tux and sat behind a desk. Before I woke up, I said something to my little boy that really touched me. I don't wanna write what it was, only when my dream will come true. That's the reason why I thought I should write this down. I can come back to this post in 4 years and maybe, maybe it happened, maybe it came true. I hope so!

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. 

All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them. 

Have you ever had a dream about your future? And did it come true? Do you dream often and do you think that dreams are important? Can they show us the truth, or do they only showcase us what we want but doesn't know yet? Is it only our imagination, our 'dream life'?
I think that dreams are important and show us much of our personality and can help us finding the right solutions. I dream a lot, but mostly I dream about the here and now. I also dreamed a couple of times from the past, but not very often. Sometimes I even have really strange dreams, that could never happen like that. But I keep saying that the story has to be like that, to let me see the deeper meaning, that I think about it and use the things in my dream as metaphors. But I've never dreamed of my future before, one that could actually happen. Me with a boy is something that I can't really imagine right now, and I am excited in some way if my life will be like that in about 4 years.

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