Celebrating the greatest gift

Every year we celebrate the miracle of birth. The greatest gift that we got is life. Being fine, being healthy is something we shouldn’t take for granted. Money can’t buy what is most important. So every year we think of our birth and celebrate life.

Parents do not only celebrate their own birthday, but also the ones of their kids. For them, their kids are like parts of themselves. They gave them life. A mother will never forget the day she gave birth to her child. The first time she heard her screaming, the first time she held her baby in her arms and saw her smiling are very special moments for every mother.

me with the Milton Mickey key chain I sent Jim

The love of a parent lasts forever. It’s a bond that never breaks. Family is what matters the most, what keeps us alive, what makes us stronger and encourage us to continue when life gets tough. Family is love, love is home and home is family. So wherever you find love, someone who really cares about you, keep this person in your heart. Family isn’t only blood related, it’s who truly loves you and who gives you this feeling to be home.

Today is Jim Parsons’ birthday and this year I was thinking of a present that might be his biggest wish - in some way. When I saw him as Sheldon in Big Bang Theory season 6 Christmas episode, when he talked to Santa that he wanted his Grandpa back, I saw Jim talking about his Dad. Last year he mentioned his Dad’s name, who died in a car accident, on “Who do you think you are?”. As a sign that his Dad is still with him, I bought a Mickey key chain and sewed a shirt. So this Milton Mickey should show him, though his eyes can’t see him anymore, his heart still can and his father is still always with him.

Well, sewing is not my strength, actually it’s the first time I ever did this, so I also wrote a poem. I thought of what Jim’s Dad might say to him if he had the chance to.

"Remember Me", the poem I wrote for Jim - click on the pic to enlarge it

 

Birthday is not only our day of birth we celebrate. It’s that we are all together with our families and forever will be. Birthday is the time to share with family, to forget the everyday stress and just enjoy the time and celebrate life.

Happy Birthday, Jim Parsons.

The mistreated wish of all

What has everyone in common? The wish for freedom, the wish to be treated equally, the wish to be herself or himself. But why do some guys still think they can decide how everyone has to live? Today I read in the newspaper about Uganda and that gay people were treated like criminals there. They have to go to jail when two men or two women kiss in the public and openly say they love the same sex. When people know someone who is gay, he or she has to tell the government or even this person can go to jail. When I read that I was thinking: what the heck is wrong with such people? Why do they think true love is a crime?

Love is not a crime

pic by Lisa Spreckelmeyer

About 100 years ago, and way before, people married just for having a family. Love was not what really mattered. But these days we know that no one can survive without love in her life. It does matter. Love has many sides, you do not only love the one you wanna kiss all the time and have intercourse with. It’s also how much you love your friends, your parents, your kids.

Only the one who has love in her life, has a real life. 

Who am I to tell someone else how to love? You can’t force anyone to love anybody particularly. You can’t. Love is something that no one can describe, but only feel. There is no right or wrong. People who say God made Adam and Eve and not two Eve’s or two Adam’s, well, to those I say, that God made different people. Everyone is unique, everyone is special in her own way. Everyone is an individual. And how would it be if some gays would go to such guys, who think that a man can only love a woman and vice versa, and tell them: you are a man, so you have to love another man or you will go to jail! What would these people say, if they were treated that way?

There is so much hate in this world. And also so much crime. When I read the newspaper, when I watch TV. I don’t wanna be in the Ukraine right now. Why are people fighting? Why do some guys want to control everything and everyone? Why are some people harming other people?
The wish of everyone is to live peacefully together, but Utopia is just an utopian dream. Because everyone wants it, but so many don’t allow this to happen. There are people who have a vision, and they want others to follow their rules, to do what they want. But when other guys try to tell these so called „leaders“ what to do, they have to suffer for only trying to be against or just questioning them. 

In what poor and cruel world do we live? As much as I enjoyed watching the Oscar’s, I also thought of some homeless kids, who have no parents and have to steal food to survive day after day. And there in Hollywood you see so much glam, so much money, such a perfect world. Utopia does exist, it’s called Hollywood. It’s not that I think all these people don’t deserve this, they worked hard and everyone who won, everyone who was nominated deserved this, but these people have so much money, too much they can actually spend on stuff they really need. And on the other side of the world, too many people have to starve. They have nothing. So where is the „everyone is equal“ that you can read about in the Bible? 

People who work hard should earn money, so for sure. But when someone earns $ 50 million every year or even more, what can one single person do with so much money? Why needs Bill Gates $ 76 billion? For what? One single person? 

Some people beg to survive, and other people don't know
how to spend all their money.
pic by Alex Proimos

There is so much that I don’t get in our world. The life we have is a gift, it’s unique, it can’t be replaced, there is no restart button. So, the dream of everyone is Utopia, is to be a part of Hollywood, the perfect world. But nothing is perfect. Perfection isn’t real. But everyone can do her best, so we all can move a bit closer to perfection. Accept everyone for who he or she is. Don’t try to force her to believe and do what you do. You don’t want others to force you to live their lives, do you? When no one gets hurt, (and it doesn’t count that a man feels hurt when he sees two men are kissing, only when he tries to start a war, with words or weapons, THAT will really hurt people!), love is just that: love. Special, and the most beautiful thing in the world everyone should accept and appreciate.

Sometimes I wonder what would happen if Ellen DeGeneres would be the next President of the United States. That would cause some kind of a revolution. Maybe one that is needed for some guys to understand that women have the power, too, not only men, and that nobody should be judged for who she is and how she loves. Everyone deserves equal chances to show what they are capable of, no matter which sex, religion or where they come from.

Allow yourself the freedom to be who you are!

This song called "Utopia" by Within Temptation is already 5 years old, but the first time I heard it was just a few weeks ago and since then I love it. The lyrics are so true.

Merry Christmas

I know that I haven’t been blogging much lately, but as some of you might know I’ve been pretty busy with college stuff. But anyway I wanted to wish you guys a Merry Christmas!!! I hope you can spend it with your families, with the ones you love and care about the most. Many can’t be home for the holidays, and I always remind me of that. How lucky and blessed I am that I can share these days with my family. Christmas is the time of love, to share it, that is the greatest gift of all: the present is a present. Try to capture that moment, try to inhale the joy and laughter and all the happiness, and whenever you struggle in the following years or your life turns into a bumpy ride, think back to those happy days. They give you the strength to never give up. No matter how hard times might be, Christmas is the time to forget the stress, the sorrows, all trouble and pain. When you are sick, or alone, when you have to work or can’t be with your family for which reason ever, keep in mind that you are never alone. Your family might not be with you physically but mentally they are. The spirit of Christmas is everywhere these days. When Christ was born he brought light, joy and hope to everyone. He brightens up our lives. Remind us that we don’t need much money, don’t need a big villa or a limousine to be happy. Happiness is an attitude. Think positive, laugh a lot, help others, show your love and support and you will receive appreciation and gratitude. And one day these people will come and help you when you need them. 

pic taken from weheartit.com

Maria and Joseph, two poor people, their lives weren’t easy at all. And even when they needed help the most, no one seemed to care. But they found a way. They were blessed and they knew it. They didn’t let anything tear them down, not even on a cold winter’s night when they weren’t able to spend it in a warm house. The warmth came to them and so the light, when Jesus was born. All sorrows were forgotten and their lives were filled with happiness. And that is what Christmas is about. Celebrating the miracle of life, to appreciate everyone you have in your life. Because all of them helped you to become who you are in this very moment.

That is also why I loved the Big Bang Theory Christmas episode this year. The friends celebrating Christmas all together but without Sheldon who doesn’t like Christmas for several reasons. One of them is giving a present of the same amount of money to the person who he receives a gift from. This was also discussed in this year’s Simpsons Christmas episode. For many people Christmas is just about the money. Something I don’t like either. You give something to someone you love and show this to that person. The thought counts. Something that wasn’t that expensive can have a high value to the person you give it to because it’s personal and it comes from you. Like when Sheldon received the napkin in season 2. First it was only a napkin, then he saw it’s signed by Leonard Nimoy and he even whipped his mouth at it - and so a simple napkin meant the world to Sheldon and he couldn’t find the appropriate present for Penny. This season the friends celebrated without Sheldon and that was a gift for him because he doesn’t like it, and they waited to celebrate till he was gone. It meant they thought of him. And they did.

took a screenshot of season 7's Big Bang Theory Christmas
episode while watching it on CBS website

Where would they all have been if Sheldon wasn’t in their lives? Anywhere else but not where they are. I love that thought. When I started this blog almost 2 years ago, I wrote the story of the actual Big Bang Theory by using the characters of the show. And it started with Sheldon. I doubt that any of the writers read my blog, so I love that they might think the same way I do. Sheldon wouldn’t be who and where he is without all of them either. (Though he would never admit that!) 

That his sister Missy was pregnant and gave birth to a son was also something I like. This tiny new person came like out of nowhere (at least for Sheldon’s friends this was big news), born on Christmas and will sure have an impact on Sheldon somehow. I doubt Missy will name him Jesus, but anyway, I love the idea of putting the birth of a son to a Christmas story. Though it might be too obvious and less creative for some guys but it just fits to the holidays and what we celebrate these days. Family comes together, friends come all together. The friends also allowed Stuart to celebrate with them, because no matter how lonely or upset someone might feel to be, on Christmas no one is really alone!!

I hope you have wonderful, peaceful holidays, may they be merry and bright, filled with cheer and joy. No matter where you are, you are not alone, never! There are people out there who love you, who care about you. Some you may not know yet, but once you will come into their lives like the big bang, out of nowhere, expanding in their lives, and they no longer wanna think about their lives without you. Because your family and friends are happy to have you in their lives and they wouldn't be the same without you. Enjoy the miracle: life! 

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!

pic of my Christmas tree

Way to happiness

What happened? What am I doing here? I open my eyes, but it's like they are still closed. I can't see anything. Am I blind? Is it dark? I start thinking. What is the last thing I remember? How do I come here? Where am I? I can only feel the floor, it feels like stones, ice cold. I try to get up, try to get on my feet. I have to get out of here. I touch the wall and I start to walk. I want to leave the darkness, I want to see. I want to hear something, I want to feel something that is not cold. I walk, and I think of my goal.

I walk and walk and walk. I am exhausted, I can barely breathe. Where am I? How do I get out of here? I finally wanna see again. I wanna hear something. I wanna feel something that is not lifeless and cold. Having that wish is what keeps me walking. I won't give up. It's my dream. A simple one. I don't wish for a pot of gold or the crap most people are looking for these days. Who cares about fame? Someone can be successful today, and a beggar tomorrow. Money means nothing. It might be not as cold as these stones on here, but as lifeless. Not many guys understand what's really important. I am looking for that. I look for happiness.

I have a dream. Yes, I dare to still have a dream. Mostly live their lives the way they were taught to. But who wants to live a life of someone else? When I'll be a Grandma one day, I will tell my kids about my life, what I have done, and not what others told me to do. No, I don't know where I am, I only know where I want to be. Out of the dark. I wanna see the light. My life has to have a sense. Where is it? Where can I find it? I keep walking. I don't know if it's the right direction, but it feels right in that moment. A voice within is telling me keep going.

The Eiffel Tower in Paris is for many people a symbol of love
picture by D. Sharon Pruitt

And then, suddenly it happens. What is this? It's beautiful. I feel like an insect flying to something sparkling. The first thing I can see. I am not blind. It gets brighter and I feel something. A tingling in my stomach. I get excited. The closer I go, the brighter and warmer it becomes. I do not only see again, I also feel again. I know the goal is near, I am almost there. The long walk, the cold, the darkness, it's all over. I don't know what's gonna happen, I can't describe what I see but it's the most beautiful I've ever seen.

I see colors, all the colors of the rainbow. It is warm, I can feel it on my skin. The dark and grey fade away. I can hear birds singing, I can hear the trees rustinling in the wind. I can see the blue sky, I feel the sun rays embracing my whole body. I reached my goal. Some might have stopped, lost their faith on their ways, but I had a dream. And now I found what I was looking for. The place where I am safe. I found you.

I look at you, and you look at me. Smiling happily. You just stand there, don't say a word. But you don't need to. Words are a bad way to use for communication, it often leads to misunderstandings. You are like my mirror, when I look at you I see me, only clearer and brighter and happier. You are the other half of me, you let me see, hear, and most important feel. I feel free, I feel safe, I feel me. I finally arrived. I am at home in this beautiful place, your heart.


It was Justin Timberlake's song "Mirrors" that inspired me writing this short story. It's a beautiful song about finding love, the one and only we are all looking for. The one person that understands you without words, that shows you the beauty of life that you was unable to see before. Love is what keeps us alive, and statistics say people who live in a happy relationship live longer and get less sick. I guess when I keep walking I'm gonna find this beautiful place, home, one day. I do believe in true love and the power that it has and gives you. 

Do you believe in true love? Have you found your true love? What is love for you? Do you think you just feel when the right person is next to you?

Living on the pink side

Every girl loves pink. Is it a stereotype or really true? When a woman gives birth to a baby girl most of the presents and congratulation cards are in pink. The girl gets pink dresses, skirts, ribbons, plush toys and so on. Girls live in a pink room, sleep in a pink bed. Okay, not all of them, and luckily I had a white room without any pink when I was a kid. But why is pink the girl color? Why is the first thing we think of when we hear the word pink little girl's stuff? Okay some might think of the singer, but for the most I guess it's girl's stuff.

The meaning of the color pink is unconditional love and nurturing.

There are so many colors which are all neither male nor female, except light blue for boys and pink for girls. When you go to a toy store and look for girl's stuff, you get a pink shock: everywhere you look it's all pink. Mostly Barbie dolls. But why do girls love Barbie? Almost every little girl plays with that doll. I was one of them who couldn't have enough. And girls do not only want the dolls; they also want the dresses, cars, houses, horses. Barbie has everything, a beautiful, perfect life in a pink girl's bubble.

Is pink a typical girl color?
picture by tanakawho

What would a girl do if she could be one of Barbie's friends and live with her on the pink side? Such a dream can come true in the Dreamhouse which is permanently in Sunrise, Florida, but also touring through Europe. This week Barbie Dreamhouse opened in German capital Berlin and will remain until August 25. But not everyone loves this pink dream. Some protested against the house, against Barbie. According to them the doll is the reason why many girl's don't like their bodies and have an unhealthy beauty obsession. 

“Fewer and fewer girls feel comfortable in their own skin, with eating disorders having increased drastically because of figures like Barbie,” Stevie Schmiedel from the “Pink Stinks” Initiative said as quoted by SAPA.

But is it only that doll that let girls think they only have to look good to become popular and special? Is it only that doll that shows them to be extra thin? I doubt that. It's also the whole Hollywood life shown on TV that gives the impression of size 0 is a good thing. Celebrities have to look just perfect, but even they only look 'perfect' thanks to Photoshop. So is it really the doll which created the picture of a little girl who likes everything pink? Can it be blamed for the whole thing? Why do girls admire Barbie? Because of her look? Because of everything is pink?

Back in the 1920s pink was a male color due to its close associations with red. Until the 1940s blue was seen more dainty and so the girls color. But then it changed. Since then the color pink represents compassion, nurturing and love. It relates to unconditional love and understanding, and the giving and receiving of nurturing.

Do you think pink is a girl color or is it mostly because of Barbie? Do girls really like that color or did they just get used to it because their parents gave them many pink stuff and so even later they feel more comfortable with everything pink? And do girls really wanna look like Barbie? Does she represent all the typical girl stereotypes?

Video from Barbie Life in a Dreamhouse

Sources: 

Full definition of the color pink: http://www.empower-yourself-with-color-psychology.com/color-pink.html

More on the Barbie Dreamhouse: http://barbiedreamhouse.com/

Watch a video of the Barbie Dreamhouse in Sunrise, Fla: http://www.wsvn.com/news/articles/local/21010592065957/barbie-dreamhouse-experience-opens-at-sawgrass/#ixzz2TBQrELqO

Love is war

picture by Barbara Unterberger

Yes, you read the headline right: Love is war. You maybe think: What? Seriously? Think I might be kidding or lying. I guess so, because you know that love is the opposite of war. And I am pretty sure that was your first thought, so you think I have to be wrong. Well, I'm gonna prove you that we both are right.

Remember the time when you were head over heels in love and you fought for someone or someone has fought for you? Back then you did everything to impress that person, that he or she will pay attention on you. You did everything that he liked you, that he would be able to fall in love with you.

Fight is something that we know from war, and certainly we hate war, so we hate fighting. But fighting for what or who we love, that is something different. Because it is a fight in which no one will get hurt – oh wait, what if you figure out in the end, that he doesn’t like you at all, he is not interested, or has already a partner? Well, then someone is hurt: you. I don't want anyone to go through such a situation. But sometimes you have to, to find out the truth. 

It can also be possible that two guys fall in love with the same person, and the two of them fight for the one love. Certainly one will be hurt in the end. Someone will suffer. And it can become bad, really bad. When two girls fight for one guy – it can become ugly. No one wants to be involved in such a war.

A war is bad, it is hard, it is horrible, anything but good. Fighting against someone is simply wrong, but fighting for someone, for the one you love, fighting for your passion or your dream to come true, that's a good fight. And that one is always worth fighting for, no matter if you fail or succeed. And if it's not working the first time, keep fighting, don't give up and one day you will be successful.

Yes, love can be a war, too. It’s not just the opposite.

The grown-up simulation

Kids want to become an adult as quickly as possible. But what when they are one? When they reach a point in life and want to be a kid again? Having such an easy-going life, a huge fantasy in which everything can happen. What a peaceful world. They don't have responsibility for anything, they just live and every single day is a new adventure. Children play the whole day, they get a register and play bank teller. And the next day they are a doctor. Kids can be whatever they want, whenever they want it. Isn't that great? And their parents protect them no matter what they do.

It's great to be a kid, but so often we want the opposite of what we have, of what we are. So a kid wants to have more rights, makes her own decisions, and doesn't want to hear stuff like "this is a grown-up talk, go playing". I heard that when I was a kid, mostly when we visited my grandma once a week. So my mom wanted to talk to her mom, which I can understand now, but back then... Well, when you are a kid, you have to be the number 1. You want your family to go where you want to go, you want to talk with them about your favorite topics and play with them when and what you want. But one day you'll realize, life is not only about you.

When I started to watch The Big Bang Theory about 1 1/2 years ago, and saw some videos on youtube afterwards, I could not understand why so many guys like Sheldon. He seemed to me the weirdest person of them all. But after I saw Jim doing interviews, I started to like him and so I kept focusing on Sheldon. I still see Jim in him, and so I like him now too, but I think people like Sheldon for what he is. Just himself. He is like a kid, who loves to play and who loves to be the number 1. And to be honest: who doesn't like that?

The thing is when we get older, we try to fit in, like to a group of people. We want to be liked by others, and because they are not our parents of who we can be sure that they like is no matter what we do, say or how we look like, we start acting. But sometimes when we act too much, we can lose ourselves in it. And this is when we stop being who we really are. The best thing of being a kid is, being simply yourself. They do not care that much what others think about them, because they know one thing certainly, and that is the only thing that really matters: my parents will love me.

Acting the whole time can be exhausting. It's a hard job, but we want to fit into the society, and so we go out, every single day, not playing, but acting. Life is a play, the stage is everywhere we go and we are the protagonists of our own play, doing our best that the audience, the people around us, like what they see. That they want to get in touch with us, maybe even work with us. We want to be loved, and think the more people love us the better. You can see that on Twitter or Facebook. When kids grow older and become teenagers they mostly think they are only great when the have thousands of followers or friends. But is that amount important? Does this mean I am not likeable only because I don't have as many followers as Lady Gaga?

Even Sheldon is growing up now, realizing that a relationship is between two people, and both are important. Life is not about one person. We all need each other. We can't expect people to like us, when we don't show that these guys are important to us, too. We want to be their number 1, and they want to be our number 1, it's all about give and take. And isn't it great to take care of someone you love? No matter how far his relationship will go, he will always stay Sheldon. A man who loves to play, to might do some stuff of which some other guy might say it's odd. But who cares? The people who are important will like him anyway, for just the way he is. That he dares to be himself.

I'll always be on your side

We need to grow up, to get through life, but we should also keep our childish side. We shouldn't stop playing, we should allow us to do sometimes some childish things, and think less about what others could think about us. You can act, and when someone's not liking you, just say you acted the wrong way, but it's braver to act who you really are. People who don't like you then, aren't worth to be part of your life. Because it's not important how many people like you, it's important that you are liked by the persons you love. And the ones who really love you, like your family and friends, love you the way you are, and not what you try to pretend to be.

Night of lights

The nights get darker and colder. Soon Christmas will come again. Can you imagine that? Already Christmas? Don’t get me wrong, it’s my fave time of the year. Not only because of the presents that I get, okay they are not bad, but I mostly enjoy the time with my family. This year my cousin from Crete will come again with her son and hubby. I don’t see them very often, so I am even more happy to see them. Christmas shows me that everyone of my family is healthy and we are all together, and what can be more important?

As a kid I loved the presents the most, but the older I became, the more I realized that there are things much more important that what someone bought me. The most precious things in life can’t be bought and can’t be replaced, can’t be fixed. Life is unique. And so is your health. And time. So when you sit together with your family, the ones you love, you can forget all your stress you had at work and everything bad that happened in the last year. You simply have time, time to spend with those who you appreciate the most. That moment is unique, that moment can’t be replaced.

The time before Christmas is also very important. Like St. Martin’s day. I don’t know if you know that story about a monk named Martin who cut his cloak in half to share it with a beggar to protect him from dying because of a snow storm and the incredibly coldness. In that night Martin dreamed about Jesus, who appeared to him as the beggar wearing the other half of his cloak and said to the angels:  "Here is Martin, the Roman soldier who is not baptised; he has clothed me."

In Germany the kids celebrate that night of the 11th November every year. They walk through that cold night in groups, carrying their self-created paper lanterns, which they made at home or in school, to light up the night. In the lanterns are mostly real candles, not only to bring light but also warmth to the people who need it.

I remember walking with my lantern back when I was a kid. Though it was cold, I loved it. It is something really good and shows how important it is to share something that can’t be bought. It means so much more and it brings the spirit of Christmas. Giving. To see the ones who really need help, and help them, at least by thinking of them. I mean everyone of us could be such a person who needs help, right? By seeing and realizing that, you appreciate even more the time you are able to spend with your family, healthy and together. And it doesn’t have to be Christmas to do that.

Kids walking with their lanterns (pic taken from wikipedia)

Fate

I guess it was time again to write another poem. Please write me what you think of it. Thanks.

I know you are somewhere out there
I feel you every day.
I feel your presence,
I feel you next to me, even though I know you aren’t here.
Not with me, not in person.
Mentally you are here, close
Every day we get closer, the connection.
What hold us together?
Fate.
We are meant to find each other.
One day.
I am awaiting this day.
I know it will come.
I know it will come soon.
That I can not just feel you, that I can touch you.
That I see you not only with my heart
I wanna see you with my eyes, wanna hold you in my arms.
Embrace you tight.
I wanna smell you, I wanna hold you and wanna be held.
I need you, because I love you.
I haven’t met you, but I am waiting.
Because I know my waiting will soon be over.
I am waiting for this day to come, I am waiting for you.
My fate.

The real crime - and the truth about love

I will probably never get some people, because they really seem to live under a rock. They see things I simply have no words for. Then I wonder: do they really live in the same time as I do? I mean they have the same chances as we have, they are not poor, that can't be the reason why they act how they do it. And I don't want to say that everyone who lives in that country is like that. I guess there are also people who live in the 21st century. It's also nothing against the country itself, I mean I have never been there so far, but my mom's cousin lived there for some years and liked it there. And I have met people coming from that country who are nice and friendly and proved me that not everyone is like that.

don't be in denial - picture taken from freedomsphoenix

I mean it's maybe the same with the Iraq or Iran. I guess not all people there want to fight, to make war. I believe that there also live nice people, who simply wanna live and maybe even suffer from the people who give the whole world such a bad picture of their country. No one can say, he is from there or like this or that, so I can't like him or her. I would never say I can't like anybody because of his religion or citizenship or anything else. And in my mind, no one can do that.

So my question to these guys is: what is actual crime? What is your definition of that? Is a person who has another point of view on something already an evil person? Is it wrong when someone likes other things, prefers something else? Of course not - in my mind is this the only right answer. People are equal, no matter what they like, how they look like or how they behave. As long as they don't harm anyone in any way, it all should be okay. Everyone should be treaten equally. I mean, wouldn't it be boring if everyone would be exactly the same? Like from the same line production?

'Oh this human being is from the XYZ-series from the year 2012. They all look the same, have the same abilities and features.'

So why should it be a crime to accept and respect a person for who he or she is? I guess we have all developed in the past years. No one wants to live with stereotypes, because not two persons are 100% the same. Everyone is unique in his or her own way. And we should respect that. So why should it be a crime to talk about love? Is there only one definition of it, the one that these guys created? I'd like to ask them, if they think love is between a man and a woman and anything else is not real, is even 'evil'?
So let's go back to the beginning of this post: do they live under a rock? Probably they sit there, in their own, self-created world. And they see things, and everyone has to see it the same way and they can't understand why everyone should disagree with them.

But no one can be judged for what, and who he/she is. No one has the right to do that. That's why I don't judge these guys, just ask them what makes they think like that. Everyone wants to be free and being free in every decision also includes love. To not allow people to talk about all parts of love, is discrimination - and there is the real 'crime' hidden. People need to be free, free to talk about what they feel and free about to love. So when someone says that the people of a country should accept and respect the gays, how can someone say that's a crime? As I wrote above, I think not everyone in this country is like this, but to the people who are, is my question: isn't there real crime out there? In which century do you live? Probably still in the stone age, just under a heavy rock.

Another big BANG

Time is going by so fast, it’s amazing that I already write my 100th blog post today. What a blast! I’m doing this since March this year, and I like it all more and more. Mostly I like the people who come and read what’s on my mind. It’s great that you take your precious time for reading my lines, and some of you also leave a comment. I love to read them, I read them all. I also go to other blogs, and it’s wonderful to ‘meet’ so many nice guys, to know more about them and their life.

Writing means a lot to me. I loved it already as a kid to write down so many things. I love to be creative, to think about a topic and how to write about it. I love to think, sometimes I maybe think too much. I know that it’s often better to simply do somethings, and I also tell myself, that without trying I will never know if it would work. Then I ask myself what would be worse: failing or never trying? What are the things we regret in the end? The ones we did, or the ones we did not even try?

I’m glad that I didn’t think too much about starting this blog. It’s my second, actually, the first one was in German like most of the stuff that I wrote before I started this. As writing always helped me, that blog was like a fresh start to me. I started to write it all in English, the language that had fascinated me all the time. For a reason that I can’t really describe. But I liked it, I loved reading books or watching Conan O’Brien when I was about 13 years old. He was the only late night talker I could watch on TV, now it’s Jimmy Fallon. Luckily I have internet now ;)

I love the American comedy, it’s so much fun, not like most of the German comedy. I don’t know that much funny German stuff, only two parodies: one of Star Trek (I was at the original set of that movie, and during a set tour we could replay parts of the movie, which was my first time in front of a movie camera, which is a very good memory and I still have the DVD and totally enjoyed it) and one of Winnetou. We do have some good shows and at least one good late night talker called Stefan Raab, who also writes and produces great music, but in my mind we can’t be compared to the US.

Anyway, I love Germany, and I love the place where I come from and grew up. But I also feel connected to the Americans, maybe because I have relatives there, and in Canada as well, and that’s why I started that blog. I had the chance to write and hoped that anyone would read it. I can improve my English, my writing. I don’t know yet where I’ll go after college, if I’ll spend some time in the States, or if I’ll stay in Germany. The future is a surprise, it would be lame if we could predict exactly everything, wouldn’t it?

I’d like to thank you, you who come to my blog. You are the reason why I still love to do that. That blog was the right decision, though I also struggled a lot. But I needed it, because I missed the English as much as the writing, while I was working for some years in an office after school. It helped me to end the darkest time I went through. I really don’t wanna go back to that time, in which I didn’t saw a future or a reason to live. But now I am back on track. This blog was like a big bang, the second after Jim made me see who I am, what I wanna do, what I missed. After 100 blog entries, I feel that another big bang has to come. Another thing I am working on. As people helped me, I try to give something back, try to help others. It’s a new project I thought of for a while, and I can’t do this on my own.

You can have a look here or by clicking on the tab above -> Charity project I follow my heart. Please spread the word, please write a comment, share your opinion on it, or if you have any ideas to improve it. Have you met such a person who just came into your life, and changed it that you are glad and happy that he or she did that? It don't have to be a person you met in real life, maybe also someone you saw a TV or anywhere else, that let you think about something and see it differently. That this person has inspired you in some way? If so, please tell me about it. Let us show that we love and appreciate the work of someone else. Let me create a big bang for others, too. Thanks.

Two worlds

What is the most important thing in our life? Right: love. Nothing is more important than love because love made and makes us. There is not only one definition for love, one sentence can’t put in words what exactly it is. And that’s good. Because love is not just about a man and a woman, love is also the friendship between two people, the love for our parents, our kids. Even hate is some sort of love.

Everything started with love, our life started with love. The more love we receive, the more we can give and the happier we are. Love is free, like we are. We can choose who we love, what we love to wear, to eat, to drink, to see, to listen to. Love is what makes us, what surrounds us. We can show other people that we love them, and that’s what makes us stronger. Together we can reach so much more than on our own. We shouldn’t fight against each other, we need each other and we all have to know, that life is a precious gift that can be over way too soon and most when we least expect it. But when we live together, our weakness can become a strength, two people can do more things than a single person.

Besides love we also need freedom. Freedom for being ourselves. We don’t want to act, pretend to be someone else, we shouldn’t have to lie because we are afraid people wouldn’t like us the way we are. We want to be loved, we want to be expected, but we don’t wanna hide. We want to live the way we love to. No one should be judged about what or who they love or how they’re dressed. We should not lie, that’s in the Bible. But wouldn’t it be a lived lie, if we change the way we are, only that we get accepted?

When two worlds collide, that’s the start of a song by Amy MacDonald. These two worlds can be a mother and her child, a man and a woman, two men or women who love each other, brothers and sisters. They show their love, they change their life, become part of each other’s. The people who are close to us, the people we meet in life, these are the people who inspire us, who let us grow and makes us the persons we are right now.

And I believe that, when one day the time will come, and I have to close my eyes forever, that I won’t be completely gone. As long as the people I know and love, will keep on thinking about me. Because love is life. Love can’t be described with words. It has the power to survive everything. Because love has the freedom to be immortal and infinite.

Anxiety of Misfortune

This is my new short story. I hope you'll like it ;)

Deep inside she felt it. Knew it was wrong. But she couldn't do anything about it. She couldn't change the fact. She knew that she had to do it. She wanted it more than anything else. For such a long time. She couldn't exactly remember when this started, when and how it began. But she was sure that she didn't want to go back. She didn't want to lose her memory. Because it changed her in a way she couldn't describe. She didn't have the words, she couldn't tell anyone about it. No one would ever believe her. They might say that she's living a dream, that she tried to convince herself that this is real. It's only her imagination. But was it really like that? Was this only in her mind? Something she just created in her head? No, this could not be possible. No doubt. This had to be the reality. It couldn't be explained any differently. She hadn't started this. It was not her fault that it all happened like this. It wasn't her intention that this man came into her life. She had never seen him before, not even heard his name. How would she have known that it once would be like this? She couldn't predict the future. This couldn't be her fault. No way. Why did people try to convince her that it's just her imagination that let her see the things like that? Even when they're different? What is real and what's a stupid lie? She had to figure out the truth. What is hidden behind? Could she find it? Was there a possible, logical way to find out? She tried to remember the beginning of all this. Of the things that occurred to her in the last year. She had to find out if it was some sort of dream. Had the people really tried to tell her she believes in a lie or was that only her imagination? She couldn't say that, not yet.

I don't want this blog post to be very long, that's why I made a whole site for the whole story. So if you wanna go on reading, please click here....

Save you

Everytime I listen to the song 'Save you' by Kelly Clarkson, I have this short movie in my mind, like a music video. I don't know if she really means what I see in it. It's really touching, I like that song. Maybe I will tape the vid one day, but for now I thought I write at least some lines about it. I dedicate this to everyone who once lost a loved person. I had lost so many family members in a short period of time. First died my grandpa, then my two grandmas. My friends went to weddings and I to funerals. I hated that time. Especially when you are a kid, you can't understand why. I still can't, and I still miss them. But I believe that true love can even survive death, because love is immortal.


When I heard that song again yesterday, the vid came back into my mind. It's about a girl who is mortally ill, but she doesn't want to tell her boyfriend because she doesn't want him to suffer and to be sad. But he cares about her because he loves her so much, and so he figured it out. And this is like a letter, the things she wanna say to her love:

Save you

I wish I could save you. I wish I could stay, but you know that I can’t. I never wanted to leave you. And I want you to know, I will never leave you completely. I will always follow you, no matter where you go. I didn’t want to tell you that I have to go, because I never wanted to hurt you. But since you figured it out, I feel something has changed.

I wish I could save you, honey. I wish I could take all the pain away from you. I don’t wanna see you suffering, I don’t wanna see your tears. I need you to smile. I wish I could tell you, it’s gonna be alright. I wish I could ease your pain. But I know that I can’t. I will forever be with you, forever by your side.

Please stop crying, honey, I don’t wanna cry. I want you to smile, I want you to go on for me. I hope you’ll never forget me, as I will never forget you. You’ve been the greatest and best, that ever happened to me. You made me alive. Please understand, that I have to leave. I would love to stay, so please just never forget me.

I will go on living inside of you. Stop crying, smile for me. Just one last time. I wish I could save you, I wish I could say that it’s gonna be alright. I wish I could ease your pain. I love to see your smile, I love to see you being happy. I still love you and forever will.

Don't wanna sing another love song

What are the most songs about? Right: love. The most people sing about love, finding love, the love of their life. Like nothing else is more important than that. Love is all around, we all wanted to be loved. I agree with that but sometimes we have to realize that our life has not only love to offer.

When I watch the news I see war. Fighting people, guys shooting others, doing bad things to other people. I see guys committing arson, stealing, guys who hold others hostage or rape them. Where does all these cruelty come from? Why do so many people hate others, what went wrong with these guys? Maybe they never had a good social life, they always lived on their own or they were treated very badly or just no one took ever notice of them. I don’t know what it brings them to do such evil things.

Some guys are quite normal and no one would have ever considered that he or she would do such a cruelty. Okay we have to say, that mostly men or boys want to show their power over others and wants to start a fight, but I would never say that girls or women can’t have the same level of cruelty. And even if it’s not about the crime that happens every day all over the world, it’s also the sickness and poverty of so many people like in Africa. Why do we have so much and they still live like 100 years ago? They don’t have electricity, no warm water or even water at all, not even a toilet. We can’t imagine life without all these things and we complain everyday about our 'bad' life.

We don’t need a villa with a swimming pool, golden faucets and stuff like that. We only see the people who have that, so we believe we should have that, too. But when we see the people who really suffer, we don’t care. Is that the right behavior? We convince ourselves not to know about these things, we see bad things all the time in the news. What we wanna see is the glamour and beauty of life. And so we sing another love song.

The mission of finding

As we all know from the physics lesson there always have to be action and reaction. Otherwise nothing works. So it must exist a second part for everyone. Guys are looking for the right person in their life, they spend lots of time in finding him or her. They are searching all the time, keeping their eyes wide open. But when do you know that you have found the right person? Can you ever be sure about that? Can it be, that you first love someone and then, after some years, love someone else, or do you think if you found the actual right one, you can and will always love him or her for the rest of your life?

Maybe you would say you are changing and so the people around us. For a period of time one can be the right companion, but when you were drifting too far apart, someone else can be the right one. Or you say the right one chances with you, so he or she will always be the perfect fit. Whatever you think about it, it’s true. You have to be happy, every person deserves that. So even if you meet someone new and think you pretend that you can never fall in love with this person because you are in a happy relationship is wrong. If this person can make you happier even if you would have never considered that before and even if you knew that it would maybe hurt too many people, you should do what is right for you. Caring is the true sign that you really love someone. But if love hurts, it’s not the right thing to do. Then you have to find another solution. And then you are back: finding.

The biggest question is: what are you looking for? What do you expect to find? True love? Are you looking for love? When do you know you are in love with someone, and it’s not only a crush? Is there a 'checklist' to be sure? I honestly don’t think that some people look for the wrong thing.
We all know that we can survive even without our heart working. It is not a real life but it is possible. So if we give our heart away we have to be sure that we get another one in return, that we still can really live. If we won’t get it, we are suffering all the time. That is not a real life anymore and we have to find a way to get at least our heart back that we will have the chance to give it to someone who deserves it. So is action and reaction, giving your heart and receiving another in return. Only this is working and that is what we all should be looking for. Then you know, it’s real and love. When you are still living, after you gave your heart someone else.