Friday, March 30, 2012

My theory about likability

We met and meet so many guys in our lives and most of all it depends on a very few seconds if we really like someone or not. But what are the main points why we think we like someone? Does it depend on how he or she is dressed, talks, the way of movement, the gestures? What is it actually? And why do we sometimes need more time to like someone? And can we like a guy who is totally different than the other kinds we usually like?

We mostly like guys who are happy, friendly, nice, enjoy their lives, having aims in life and have personality. Happy people are always more wanted than depressive ones. We want someone who looks like being someone special because in our life it is mostly about what something looks like. The eyes are the greatest liars, they can be manipulated so easily, but we mostly believe in them.

Imagine you see someone and you don’t know what people like about him. That’s what I asked myself after I saw Sheldon the first time. I thought, that he is probably the most awkward guy in the world and then I saw videos on youtube on which people go crazy when they saw Jim. I honestly don’t know if they would know a 'real' Sheldon personally, if they would react about him the same way. I guess he would drive them as crazy as Leonard, Howard, Raj and Penny.
So why do they love him? Do they love him because of Jim? Or do they love Jim because of Sheldon?

My first thought was that Sheldon is a grown-up man but in his mind he’s more a child. So I pondered over that maybe they feel like they want to protect him from this cold, cruel and dark world outside, because he always believes in the good in people which is not that bad, but sometimes you have to ask questions to yourself and you have to be aware. In this world happens so much in only a second - it’s better not to think about it.
My second thought then was that this maybe could be for mothers but not for men, other boys or girls. I guess all these guys like him because he is who he is. He doesn’t change for anybody and that’s appreciated. We all have to fit into a world. We want that people around us only see the good things about us, we want to be liked by everyone. When we were a child we were who we are because we knew no matter what we do, the most important persons in our live will love us anyway: our parents. But the older we become, the more we learn to act. We learn to behave, we learn that sometimes we need to lie when we don’t wanna hurt someone or just for our self-protection. We want to be perfect. We could see this best on Desperate Housewives and mostly on Bree who pretends to be Mrs Perfect but when you look close, she’s is the most desperate and non-perfection of all.

We are actors in our live but we were never asked if we wanted to act. Some couldn’t handle it and got lost in their own acting. They pretended too much and lost their selves. People want to be like Sheldon, they want to be their selves and not caring too much what all the others think about. Why don’t we stop acting, stop pretending to be perfect? Why do we always want to fit into something? The people who really like us, like us the way we are and not what we pretend to be.

Thursday, March 29, 2012

'A' mystery

The guys of you watching Pretty Little Liars now know finally who is ‘A’. She was there all the time, following the girls, not on twitter. That is the only way of following someone that would no one drive crazy. She was there and though no one thought about her. The girls considered so many other guys and probably you, too. I have to say, that I mostly thought about Melissa, I never had Jenna in my mind because I thought this would be too obvious. But I never thought about Mona. She was just too close with Hanna and I could not understand why she would do such a thing to her best friend.

Of course she had a reason doing that. Not that much liked her at school, she was mostly like a freak. No one saw her, but all saw Alison. That was hard for her to handle but has should this be a reason for killing someone? The guys saw Alison but was that only in their minds? And did Mona also kill Maya? What did Mona really know about Jason? Does she know that he is Spencer’s brother? Does she also know about the Jenna thing? Why was she following all the guys? Really only because Alison and the girls took Hanna, her best friend? Did she really feel betrayed in some way? And if Dr Sullivan just vanished and later reappeared, is it possible that the body who was found wasn’t really Alison’s and she is still alive, having an eye on the girls? But then why wouldn’t she tell them about everything she knows?
It’s all a whole mystery, so many questions are still in my head, even if I now know who ‘A’ is.

But it also let me think about what jealousy (leaving the fact out here what Mrs Sullivan explained about Mona’s having a real, serious problem, too) can make some guys to do. Alison treated Mona really badly and surely she didn’t deserve that, no one does. But Hanna was still a friend of Mona so why killing Alison? Or treat all these guys, including Hanna, more bad than Mona was ever treated? Did she think that’s the only way for justice, revenge? But that won’t make her better than Ali. Revenge is never the right solution. It will start a circle, you treat me badly, I treat you badly. It will never end, but the smarter one has to stop. You can’t forget things but you have to forgive. Talking is always the best. If you feel you were treated wrong, go to these guys and talk and don’t do the same to them. Show them that you are better than that, and smarter.

I don’t know if that was really the main reason. As we saw in the last scene there was another guy and maybe he or she had brought her round to do that. Said that she had to do it and because she was weak or still is, she did it. People do things when they want something so much and someone is offering exactly this to them. So maybe this person told her, how she can have the power, being in the spotlight. Everyone will see and talk about her. She will be the No 1 and that is what she wanted.

But is this the best? Being No 1? When everyone knows and talks about you? And like that people now talk about Mona? What do you think is that other person? Is he or she involved? And can you understand Mona, why she did it? What is your opinion about that all and about jealousy? 

Please leave a comment and let me know.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

The Tower of Babel

You know that story from the Bible, don’t you? People who wanted to go to God and therefore they built a tower to reach him and because he didn’t want that, he gave them all different languages that they can’t talk to each other anymore and with no communication they can’t go on building the tower.

Nowadays we know how important it is to have language skills. The more languages you can talk the better are your chances to find someone to communicate with. It is important in your job as well as in your social life. We need languages everywhere and everyday. Talk is not just for girls, the boys do it less but they do it.

The main language is English, though more people speak Chinese what not so many guys may know, but it is more difficult to learn, very difficult. English is not so much. We see it more often and everywhere, not only in the USA, Great Britain, Ireland, Australia or New Zealand. Everywhere we go people understand and talk in English. Most computer programs run in English, the Internet, so many guys all over the world watch their favorite TV shows in English, because most good movies and TV shows come from the United States. We listen to English music, read English books and magazines. And we mostly, when we live outside an English speaking country, we use it while spending holidays abroad.

English is important to learn, to know. But also other languages, e.g. Spanish, French or German become more and more popular. They are more difficult to learn, but the more you know the more are you ask when you apply for a good job. You have to negotiate with people all over the world, the global market is important and the more languages you speak, well, the more people you can talk to. And that is necessary nowadays.

So tell me, do you speak any foreign languages? Are you interesting in learning one and if so, which one? I speak English, German and French. I started learning Spanish and also think about learning Greek because my cousin lives there with her family.  I like to talk to people and use my skills so I can test what I still know. With the internet I get the chance to talk to so many guys all over the world which is the best practice not to forget what you’ve once learned.

The perfect day

We girls love to think about romantic stuff and one most important in our lifetime will be, of course, our wedding. We think about it as the one special day on which everything is perfect. Some wanna have the greatest church, with lots of candles and red roses. Others prefer to marry at a beautiful beach down a bay where they can sit and watch the sun going down. Whatever you wish it like to be, you have the perfect picture of it right in front of you.

But why do we think so much about it and the men not? Why do we want it to be very big and having extraordinary wishes like pink dyed poodles, what Renee on Desperate Housewives told Bree she wants to have for her wedding? Why do we want stuff like that?

Well, I guess some of us also believe in the prince coming to us riding on a horse, looking better than anyone else, with the perfect body and a charming smile. He just comes into your life, gives you a red rose, whispering you the sweetest words in your ear you’ve ever heard, you feel your knees getting weak and so he carries you onto his horse and bring you into his beautiful palace.
And even we know that this will definitely not happen, most of us believe it like that. When they found the right man, and got a romantic proposal, they have nothing else than 'planning the perfect day' in their mind. Do I want doves? Which church? How to decorate it? How many roses? Do I want a horse-drawn carriage? And most important: the dress. A beautiful white dress. With flowers on it or not? What kind of bag? What jewelry? Which hair accessories? Where do you go afterwards for dinner?

So many questions will cross your mind. But don’t you think that you forget about the main thing? The really important one? The reason for your marriage? Why do people marry? They say “yes” to each other in good and bad times. They want to be there for each other whatever will happen. The reason for a wedding is love. Isn’t this the main and most important thing? Why do people care so much about everything to be big and glamorous? Why is a dress and a place so important when the only ‘thing’ really important is that the two persons who want to tie the knot are present? You look for everything but you don’t really care if anything is missing as long as the man you love is there. Honestly, when I think about my wedding, I don’t care that much about all the material things, as long as I know ‘he’ will be there, I know that everything will be perfect.

Monday, March 26, 2012

What's worse: failing or never trying?

Have you ever thought about to do something? Something that could possibly change your life? But you never tried it? You probably thought about failure so you didn’t dare it to try? And afterwards you were angry about yourself for not trying?

Why do you sometimes wish so badly to do something and you know deep inside that you want to do it, but you are afraid? You know what you have right now, you are enjoying this and you know it works. So why change it? Why change something in your life when everything is perfect the way it is? Why do we feel sometimes like we need a change? Well, we all want constancy, and not. We know that we can’t do one single thing forever, for the rest of our life. Because life has so much more to offer, and we don’t want to say that we haven’t really lived and didn’t try everything we wanted to, when we know it’s over and we have to go.

Imagine you get the amount of 86,400 every single day. How would you spend it? You know that you can’t save it but you get the same amount every single day. You wouldn’t waste it, would you? You would say: oh I could buy this and that, travel around, visiting new countries, I wouldn’t have any worries, I would quit my job, enjoy my life, do what I want. The fact is, that we get this amount every single day but how do we use it? Doing nothing? Doing always the same things we don’t really want? Don’t try to do anything new or different because we don’t dare? We are wasting so much of it but in the end we only regret the things we don’t do. When we feel to change something, then don’t hesitate too long, just try. If you fail, you can say, at least I tried and now know I don’t want or like it as I thought I do. But you will never know if you haven’t given a try.

I know it’s hard to bring yourself to do something. But it is always worth trying. Nothing lasts forever. Grab your chance, think about it and when you come to the conclusion that you really want this, go for it. Try it and do the best you can. And if you think you can’t do it now, never forget it and try when you are ready. But never stop dreaming because our dreams animate us to try, to think about something else. It encourages us, let us see new possibilities and gives us opportunities.

86,400 is the amount of seconds every day has, don’t waste them.

Take nothing for granted

In one of the last episodes of Desperate Housewives we learnt that nothing in this life will be here forever. We mostly recognize someone or something and how special it was, when it’s gone. But why can’t we appreciate things when they are in our life? Why do we always want to have something we can’t have?

Certainly life is not easy. Some people come and go, and we want constancy. So when we reach the point to let someone into our life, we never think about when he or she won’t be with us anymore. When time passes by and some aren’t asked if they want to go, they just have to. Sometimes it is an accident, sometimes a disease and sometimes a crime. We can’t predict the future, we can’t see what will come and when it will come. So we think not to think about it will give us time. Time is all we have, we think we still have enough, but we all also know how fast it can rush. We see it how fast our children grow, when we first get grey hair or losing it, we see it when there are not enough candles fitting on the cake, and when people around us leave.

No, life is not easy. But it all shows that we are growing, that we are changing from minute to minute, second to second. We look the same because we see ourselves everyday but in the inside we know we are changing and so everything around is. It’s not bad, it would be bad if everything would standing still. Even if we pretend to want that. But wouldn’t it be also boring if nothing would happen? If we had nothing to tell? No, of course not. The world is turning, and so do we. If we want or not. That’s fact, that’s life. And therefore we don’t know what will happen next. But what we can do is to take the things we have, appreciate them and take them not for granted. It’s a gift being surrounded by the people we like, our family and friends. They help us going through life, they are on our side. We don’t want to loose them, so we don’t think about what would be if anything bad would happen to them. We want to protect them, being there for them in every moment of their life. We don’t want them to suffer or to see us suffer because that again would cause a circle.

We saw not just on Desperate Housewives, how soon a loved one can be gone and how hard it is to handle. He or she then only lives in our memory. That is heaven for me. When you leave the world as human being but still be alive in the persons you loved, that gives you some kind of immortality. People who always did bad thing to other people have no one who think about them, when they passed away - and that is hell for me. So if you have people who love you, nothing really bad can happen to you. We don’t want to think about it, and everyone sees it differently but I enjoy every single minute of my life. Doing the things I want to, with the people I want to. Nothing is for granted, not even life. It’s the greatest gift we have, let us appreciate it.

Everything started with a big BANG

First there were only little strings, tiny, very small. We wouldn’t be able to see these. (Sheldon).
Then there was a force, pulling them together and push them far away with an immense power (Leonard).
They are moving into all directions until they found their place to be, forming something completely new. (Raj)
Some smaller reactions which came out of the explosion seem to pass them very fast, wanna find a place in between, looking how everything looks like. (Howard)
Going down on one single planet, it starts small there again. Tiny little lives crawling on the ground. (Bernadette)
They started to develop. When their brain increases, varieties of life were formed. (Amy)
About 14 billion years after it all began, so much had happened and changed. Life is still small compared to the huge size of everything, but had grown to what we now know best. (Penny)

You all probably know now what I am talking about: the Big Bang Theory and the Big Bang Theory. I actually don’t know why the show is really named like that, never heard or read it anywhere. But this is what I found out the longer I thought about it. And it fits perfectly. Do you still remember the pilot? When Sheldon and Leonard wanted to start new lives? You think they didn’t but actually they did. When they came home and saw Penny, she was their big bang. She turned their lives upside down, she was expanding more and more and soon they can’t imagine how life was like before she was there. And vice versa. Penny would probably never considered that or convinced herself to be true, but the boys were her big bang. She got another point of view on things she never thought before. They were expanding in her life and I don’t know if she could live or imagine her life without them anymore.

That’s what the show makes to almost all of us: it came like in a fraction of a second into our lives, expanding there more and more and still, and we can’t remember how our life was like without it. I read so much about the show, and I saw how it became more and more successful and I thought about it.  It is not just well played, also the writing is incredible which is, because i also love to write, more on my focus. It’s actually funny, really funny. I do never laugh so much while watching any other other show. Maybe it is also because the show is made for the audience. Having a real audience let the producers and writers see directly if a scene was funny or not. And if not they can change it till it airs on TV. I guess that’s another big point about it.

I don’t wanna go any further right now, because I know that there was already written so much about it. I just found my truth behind it and I like that fact, at least for me because I don’t really know if it’s like that, that everyone can cause a big bang in someone else’s life. Sometimes we have to let new people in to change our life, to expand, to give us another point of view on things we never thought about before, and we can also be this person to others.

So go out and create, be a BIG BANG.

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