Be brave, be yourself

Last week the former German soccer player Thomas Hitzlsperger had his coming out. He waited until his soccer career was over, because he was told to do so. This leaves me with the question, why some people still treat gays differently, most of all when it comes to sports men. I am sure there are football or soccer or basketball player out there, who were told to keep their mouth shut about the truth. Because there are fans who think these sports are "manly" and so there is no room for gays. But what gives them this impression? There are many men out there who have a completely normal life, and are definitely not less manly than straight guys. I guess these prejudices are caused by people who overdress, who love dresses, and lots of jewelry and sparkling pink stuff. There are a few of these man out there who just love that style. It's not wrong, it's just how they express themselves and show who they are. But exactly this might cause what most people think of gays: they are all like that, sparkling and girly.

Love will guide us.
pic by Kasia

When Hitzlsperger revealed last week that he is gay, lots of people couldn't believe it. They said that he always seemed like a "real man". Ouch! Luckily there were also lots of supportive guys out there, who said it's a good thing that he finally came out. Some even said it's brave. I wonder, why do gays even have to come out? Why can't they just live a normal life, everyone can see their partner and is okay with it. I mean, straight guys don't have to come out, so when gays have to, there it already starts that they are treated differently. This also leads that some even fake a relationship or even marriage with a woman (these women get paid for that!), because the men are afraid someone might figure it out, that they actually love men and that they might lose their job because of that.

I like that lots has changed in the past years and for some people, like actors, it mostly doesn't affect their career at all when they reveal being homosexual. Their fans love them for who they are. And I also like people who dare to be themselves. We live in a society where we learned how to fit in. We all wanna be individuals; but are we? We learned what is "normal", which just says what's average. So average is the definition of normality - at least for most people. We grew up, we were told how to behave. And who hasn't heard her parents not only once saying "Behave yourself", back when she was a kid?
And do you know one fairytale in which a man falls in love with another man? No, it's always about the Princess and her Prince. At school we try even harder to fit in a group, we don't wanna be left out. So we learn how to fit in even better. That is the main problem. We learn to do what other, mostly older people tell us to do, without questioning. The older people sure have more experience and therefore know what they say, but maybe a young person can come to a better solution because she is not stuck in the rut. She has a fresh, new point of view, and maybe that can help too.

Older people can be right, but so can young people. I think if someone really wanna be a free, independent and individual person, she has to be interested, not only in herself but also in others. Try to understand them, try to think how they think, and try to find a solution that everyone can be who (s)he is without being afraid.

Love has no limits, no one can live without love!
pic by D. Sharon Pruitt 

This whole story and discussion about Thomas Hitzlsperger lets me think of running a campaign and naming it "Be brave, be yourself". Most of all when it comes to sports, it's still a big deal. I read that even friends told Hitzlsperger to not come out during his career. They were afraid, and I guess so are many sports men and their friends, that the fans start to hate them, don't support them anymore. So what can be done, that even there gay men will be accepted and treated equally? That is what I wanna reach with this campaign and I'm happy for everyone joining the team, giving information or ideas to let this work.

I was actually shocked when I heard a man telling his story. He grew up in Latin America and there, back in the 80s, the people thought it's better to have a criminal than a gay son, so he could not even tell his own parents. Because not only the gays were treated differently but also the entire family. I am glad that these times have changed and like I said many people accept it - that's the way it should be. Well I don't know how it is in Latin America now and I know there are still countries that have a long way till they finally understand that love has no limits. Love is what keeps us alive, as long as we have love in our lives, we are actually living!

I hope that one day, everyone will respect others. We don't wanna be left out, because of who we are. No one wants someone else to tell them how or who to love. "Be brave, be yourself". You have to learn how to be yourself, and not how others to like you. Life is not about who fits in the best, it's the one who dares to be who (s)he is!!!

The real crime - and the truth about love

I will probably never get some people, because they really seem to live under a rock. They see things I simply have no words for. Then I wonder: do they really live in the same time as I do? I mean they have the same chances as we have, they are not poor, that can't be the reason why they act how they do it. And I don't want to say that everyone who lives in that country is like that. I guess there are also people who live in the 21st century. It's also nothing against the country itself, I mean I have never been there so far, but my mom's cousin lived there for some years and liked it there. And I have met people coming from that country who are nice and friendly and proved me that not everyone is like that.

don't be in denial - picture taken from freedomsphoenix

I mean it's maybe the same with the Iraq or Iran. I guess not all people there want to fight, to make war. I believe that there also live nice people, who simply wanna live and maybe even suffer from the people who give the whole world such a bad picture of their country. No one can say, he is from there or like this or that, so I can't like him or her. I would never say I can't like anybody because of his religion or citizenship or anything else. And in my mind, no one can do that.

So my question to these guys is: what is actual crime? What is your definition of that? Is a person who has another point of view on something already an evil person? Is it wrong when someone likes other things, prefers something else? Of course not - in my mind is this the only right answer. People are equal, no matter what they like, how they look like or how they behave. As long as they don't harm anyone in any way, it all should be okay. Everyone should be treaten equally. I mean, wouldn't it be boring if everyone would be exactly the same? Like from the same line production?

'Oh this human being is from the XYZ-series from the year 2012. They all look the same, have the same abilities and features.'

So why should it be a crime to accept and respect a person for who he or she is? I guess we have all developed in the past years. No one wants to live with stereotypes, because not two persons are 100% the same. Everyone is unique in his or her own way. And we should respect that. So why should it be a crime to talk about love? Is there only one definition of it, the one that these guys created? I'd like to ask them, if they think love is between a man and a woman and anything else is not real, is even 'evil'?
So let's go back to the beginning of this post: do they live under a rock? Probably they sit there, in their own, self-created world. And they see things, and everyone has to see it the same way and they can't understand why everyone should disagree with them.

But no one can be judged for what, and who he/she is. No one has the right to do that. That's why I don't judge these guys, just ask them what makes they think like that. Everyone wants to be free and being free in every decision also includes love. To not allow people to talk about all parts of love, is discrimination - and there is the real 'crime' hidden. People need to be free, free to talk about what they feel and free about to love. So when someone says that the people of a country should accept and respect the gays, how can someone say that's a crime? As I wrote above, I think not everyone in this country is like this, but to the people who are, is my question: isn't there real crime out there? In which century do you live? Probably still in the stone age, just under a heavy rock.

Independent liberty

Today is the 4th of July - Independence Day. This is a big day for all the Americans on which they celebrate their independence. This let me think about the word itself. What does it mean to be free? Am I free? I mean not only Americans want to gain independent. We all want to be free. But are we actually?

A lot of things have changed in the past years, decades and centuries. And I have to admit that I am very grateful that I live these days than some years ago. Not just that women are not only housewives anymore, that they are also allowed now to do almost as much as men do. There are still some differences, e.g. in the payment, but most of all the two genders are equal.

I also like that people can be who they are. I mean in the Bible we can read that every person is the same and should be respected by the way he or she is and so do also respect others. This was long time ago a big problem and I guess for some guys it still is. If someone is a bit different or not like the average, people judge them for being not normal. Like some days ago when I have seen these Oreo pictures - thanks to Chris Whiting who tweeted that - and the comments of some people about it. Some really wrote just silly stuff which reminds me of how life would like have been some years ago. But in my mind we are civilized now, and I can’t imagine why some people still make such a big deal of something like that.

Every person is free to choose who they love. Of course it’s crazy to think about marrying a manga figure (manga = japanese comic book). I actually read an article on the internet about that some months ago. A grown up Japanese man wanted to marry his favorite manga character. That’s really overdone. But as long as you love another human being - I think it doesn’t matter how old he/she is (of course not an adult and a child, but I guess you know what I mean) or what gender he/she is - everything's fine. Love is so much more. Everyone should be free to choose and free to love.

Freedom gives us the opportunity to live the way we want to. Why should we change our life just because we don’t get accepted by other people? Every person lives only once and this life shouldn’t be wasted. Freedom means for me to do the things you like as long as you don’t harm others. Dare to be yourself. Live your life and not the life others want you to have or live because no one knows you better than you do.

What is freedom for you? Do you feel free? How do you celebrate the Fourth of July?


If you're interested, here is the site about the Oreo's: http://www.tickld.com/t/16149

Life's a play

After months on the run, every city becomes a blur. Every disguise takes you one step away from your true self. Finally, you forget who you are. But you never forget who you’re after. And so it begins. 

This was the start of a commercial series, made for Hilary Duff’s clothing line FEMME for DKNY Jeans. This was about three years ago, but I watched it again yesterday, and I still like it. It is a story, something extraordinary. You see this, and the last thing you think about is: this is a commercial, isn’t it? On the website Hilary wrote that with the different characters she played in the seven parts of this mini-series (the vid on my blog is only the first part, the others can be found on youtube), she wanted to showcase the versatility of every woman (Femme is the french word for woman).

It’s a chase. In the last part we saw two cops, who wanted to chase her all the time. In the end, they are really close to her, but did they get her? Well, just watch it and see.

I also like the fact, that we all sometimes feel like being on the run. That someone wants to chase us, but we don’t wanna let that happen. So we change our clothes, try to make an illusion, that no one can find us, no one can unravel our mystery. We wanna stay a mystery, because we wanna be interesting. But the more we disguise, the more we try to hide and pretend to be someone else, we lose ourselves. Life is a play. No curtain falls, but lots of guys are in the audience watching us. Everytime and everywhere. We are the protagonist of our own play. No rehearsals.

Of course it makes fun to be someone else, but only sometimes. When I watched the German musical ‘Linie 1’ in 2008, which is by the way one of the most successful and most performed German theater plays which was also enacted in cities like New York, Paris, Amsterdam, Kalkutta, London and Paris, I still remember one line of it:

Everyone is an actor, but only a very few know that.

It’s on you to think about that. I only wanna add that we don’t have to showcase everything to everyone. Acting is a good thing, but when we are too good and forget who we are, it’s really bad. Everyone has so many different sides and everyone should explore and change and stay curious, but also always find back to himself or herself. That at least you know who you really are.

PS: If you wanna know more about ‘Linie 1’ or Hilary’s clothing line, just write me.

Seeking in the box

I am a person, I wanna live, give me air to breathe, I need it. Let me outta the box.

My last blog entry was about the acceptance of everyone, that everyone is unique and special in his or her own way. The audio project I was working on this week was about goths, so I gave them as an example of a group of people who are part of our life but still aren't accepted or even tolerated by so many people. I also considered to mention the gay guys, because it's the same. We do now have a change and I really like that Barack Obama is now in favor of gay marriage. I mean why shouldn't they be allowed to marry? In which century do we live, that we still have to treat them differently? Who cares which gender is preferred?

It's like box-thinking. We see someone and we want to know everything, that we can put him or her into a box, and we won't stop, until we have what we want. But do we wanna live in a box? You can't put all goths, all gay guys into one box, as well as you can't put all blonde girls into one. I guess that this is the reason why everyone now is talking about Jim Parsons and the interview he gave to Patrick Healy of The New York Times. This interview was also published on Wednesday, the same day I wrote my blog entry. I see this as kinda sign, so I come back to my last post.
If you read the whole interview of Jim, you know he said so much more things, really interesting things like about the work at theatre. But what do we read all over the internet? All articles about that interview, are about only one thing. Google it if you don't know, but I guess you do.

So why on earth is THAT the most important thing? Back to my question: in which century do we live? Seriously? Is this really worth to be a 'news', beside the fact that as the word says itself, it should be new? Why are the most people so much interested in other's private life? We don't want someone else talking and writing about our private life - okay some might want that, but in my mind these are the guys who have to talent, no passion except for themselves.

Being an actor, or a singer is as normal as any other job. I appreciate a lot what these guys do, share their talent with the world. Without music, movies, tv shows, we would have less to talk about and life would be very boring. We need them as well as we need plumber, teacher, architects. They might not be known by so many people like an actor or singer, so the chance that many persons are interestend in him or her are less, but also they will talk. Only not in that wide range. But as the internet is open to everyone, imagine your co-worker heard that you talked to a friend that you are in love and wanna make him or her a gift. The next day a foreigner comes to you, giving you an advice for the gift, and an other guy tells you he can't imagine what you like on her/him. How would you feel? What would you think about it? Later you found out, that your co-worker wrote this about you and put it on the internet.

Do you think this is far-fetched? Do you really think that only because someone works in the public, he or she has to share everything with total strangers? Certainly not. If he doesn't want to, he doesn't have to and we should respect that. Also all the actors and singers out there aren't different persons, they are no superheroes. They do their job as we do our job. Let's stop digging, let's stop seeking in the box, let's stop putting everyone into a box.

Here you can read the interview with Jim Parsons http://www.nytimes.com/2012/05/27/theater/jim-parsons-prepares-for-his-lead-role-in-harvey.html?pagewanted=all