There can be only one

sure it's beautiful, but do we really need this to be happy?
picture by Sarah Ackerman

What are the most important things in your life? The things you can’t live without? What makes you really happy? Have you ever thought about these questions? I am sure you have. I often ask myself that, mostly when I spend the day at a shopping mall. There are the kids who say: “Mommy, I want that.” or “Daddy, can you buy me that?” Some of the parents roll their eyes, saying they already bought their kids a new toy, or they have something similar, or they don’t have much money anymore to buy it. But kids are kids, the way they look at their parents – yes, they know how to get what they want. Teenagers aren’t differently, they go shopping with their friends, but after they asked their parents for money. They want the new smartphone, or an iPod, new clothes, or whatever. And adults? Well, women never have enough shoes, these two words simply don’t fit together. Men want a jersey, sports stuff, or tools like a drill to prove that they can do everything on their own. But do they need all that stuff? Who is the kid here to tell us what we should buy, what we 'wanna' have?

For many people Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory seems to be from a parallel universe. He just likes different things, doesn’t seem to be very interested in others. Mostly it’s like he doesn’t care what others think about him. But it does make him upset, like when he taught some students physics and afterwards he read their tweets about his lecture and he didn’t read nice stuff. He is as normal as we all are, but his interests are differently. He focuses on brainwork, and to distract himself he enjoys playing video games. But he doesn’t care about shoes or how he is dressed, like in that episode in which Penny fell in the shower and broke her arm and Sheldon had to pick her something to wear. And in this year’s Valentine’s Day episode he gave his assistant Alex 1,000 $ to find Amy a present that she likes. But in the end, he gave her a paper. A single paper that told Amy she is from now on the person to call if Sheldon has an emergency. The money was wasted on things not that important. The real gift, well, can’t be bought and therefore is much more worth. And it never loses it.

We spend lots of our time in front of the TV, we watch the news, we watch our favorite shows, sitcoms, movies. And it shows us a world, a world that’s supposed to be our world. But is this reality the real reality? There are many people out there who suffer because they don’t have much to eat or drink or are very sick. But do we compare ourselves to them? No, we watch the Hollywood glamour, and wish to have such a life. A life in the spotlight, a life without any money problems. Are these the greatest worries we could have these days? Why do we need so much money? Because we see these people and we want that big house, we want these expensive gowns, and we want all these super cool gadgets. The question is: do we need them? Do we really want them or do we only want these things because others have them?

do we always need the newest fashion to be happy?
picture by Bert Kaufmann

Do we already live in our self-constructed world, in our own TV world? Does it affect us that much, that it shows us a reality that is not real and we wanna do everything to make this real and forget the real reality? And wouldn’t that make us a bit like Sheldon, who doesn’t seem to be interested in the real world, but instead thinks he can do everything on his own and prefers to live on the starship Enterprise? Sometimes we all wanna go to another place, to escape from our everyday life. The TV helps us to distract. But it gets better and better, and some can’t distinguish TV world from real world anymore. But that is its intense. Like a kid looking into their Mommy’s eyes: “I want that. Buy me that.” And what does Mommy? She buys her kid what he wants, and is happy that he is happy.

But isn’t it the sparkle in our kid’s eyes that makes us happy? It’s not about the money we spent. When I go to the mall I mostly love to spend time with my friends. When we were at school we saw each other almost every day, but things have changed. I have realized that time is the most precious thing we have, so I just enjoy the time. It doesn’t matter what I buy, or if I buy anything at all. The TV is our starship Enterprise, our escape. But like Sheldon we can’t stay there forever, we have to come back to the real world. Don’t get trapped, don’t let TV manipulate you, show you some commercials and stuff, trying to convince you, that you need this for being happy. If you really wanna be happy, spend time with the ones you love, because no money can ever bring you back the time.

The grown-up simulation

Kids want to become an adult as quickly as possible. But what when they are one? When they reach a point in life and want to be a kid again? Having such an easy-going life, a huge fantasy in which everything can happen. What a peaceful world. They don't have responsibility for anything, they just live and every single day is a new adventure. Children play the whole day, they get a register and play bank teller. And the next day they are a doctor. Kids can be whatever they want, whenever they want it. Isn't that great? And their parents protect them no matter what they do.

It's great to be a kid, but so often we want the opposite of what we have, of what we are. So a kid wants to have more rights, makes her own decisions, and doesn't want to hear stuff like "this is a grown-up talk, go playing". I heard that when I was a kid, mostly when we visited my grandma once a week. So my mom wanted to talk to her mom, which I can understand now, but back then... Well, when you are a kid, you have to be the number 1. You want your family to go where you want to go, you want to talk with them about your favorite topics and play with them when and what you want. But one day you'll realize, life is not only about you.

When I started to watch The Big Bang Theory about 1 1/2 years ago, and saw some videos on youtube afterwards, I could not understand why so many guys like Sheldon. He seemed to me the weirdest person of them all. But after I saw Jim doing interviews, I started to like him and so I kept focusing on Sheldon. I still see Jim in him, and so I like him now too, but I think people like Sheldon for what he is. Just himself. He is like a kid, who loves to play and who loves to be the number 1. And to be honest: who doesn't like that?

The thing is when we get older, we try to fit in, like to a group of people. We want to be liked by others, and because they are not our parents of who we can be sure that they like is no matter what we do, say or how we look like, we start acting. But sometimes when we act too much, we can lose ourselves in it. And this is when we stop being who we really are. The best thing of being a kid is, being simply yourself. They do not care that much what others think about them, because they know one thing certainly, and that is the only thing that really matters: my parents will love me.

Acting the whole time can be exhausting. It's a hard job, but we want to fit into the society, and so we go out, every single day, not playing, but acting. Life is a play, the stage is everywhere we go and we are the protagonists of our own play, doing our best that the audience, the people around us, like what they see. That they want to get in touch with us, maybe even work with us. We want to be loved, and think the more people love us the better. You can see that on Twitter or Facebook. When kids grow older and become teenagers they mostly think they are only great when the have thousands of followers or friends. But is that amount important? Does this mean I am not likeable only because I don't have as many followers as Lady Gaga?

Even Sheldon is growing up now, realizing that a relationship is between two people, and both are important. Life is not about one person. We all need each other. We can't expect people to like us, when we don't show that these guys are important to us, too. We want to be their number 1, and they want to be our number 1, it's all about give and take. And isn't it great to take care of someone you love? No matter how far his relationship will go, he will always stay Sheldon. A man who loves to play, to might do some stuff of which some other guy might say it's odd. But who cares? The people who are important will like him anyway, for just the way he is. That he dares to be himself.

I'll always be on your side

We need to grow up, to get through life, but we should also keep our childish side. We shouldn't stop playing, we should allow us to do sometimes some childish things, and think less about what others could think about us. You can act, and when someone's not liking you, just say you acted the wrong way, but it's braver to act who you really are. People who don't like you then, aren't worth to be part of your life. Because it's not important how many people like you, it's important that you are liked by the persons you love. And the ones who really love you, like your family and friends, love you the way you are, and not what you try to pretend to be.