Life's beauty

Sometimes life can be pretty tough. Things change, people leave, things don't work out the way they should. I am sure everyone gets into such situations from time to time. I have been there, too. When I was a kid I kept asking myself why so many persons I love, had to leave me? All my friends went to weddings and christenings, but I had to go to funerals. And I still wonder sometimes, if I bring some kind of misfortune to my loved ones?

This jellyfish looks like our planet Earth and
symbolizes life's beauty.
pic by Steve Jurvetson

Life comes and goes. I have learned that. And it was not only once that I had the wish to live in a perfectly harmonious world. Like shown on TV. I have never had a group of friends who were like my second family and I could share everything with. Or that I met the same guys daily. I only met one friend daily, now it became monthly, and sometimes not even that works out, due to work and that she is already married and has the cutest daughter on earth.

So seeing my friends only a couple of times a year, and that they all don't really know each other coz I met them in different places of my life, I sometimes wish to be back at school. Back to the times when you didn't have to worry bout money, your future or even the next day. You never thought of anything but just lived day after day.

In one of the latest Simpsons episode Homer wanted to live in Lego world, a place where his kids never get old, no one gets hurt and nothing ever changes. And in season 7 finale of The Big Bang Theory Sheldon deals with too much change in his life, too. He runs away, probably like many would love to. But is this the right way to deal with problems? Homer figured out that time with his kids is limited and exactly that makes it special. They will always love him but keep growing too.

Change frightens everyone. We love to do things we got used to, things we know quite well. When it comes to new things, we start analyzing. We wanna figure out the risks, what could happen. And we all feel more comfortable in things that had always been this way. But would it be really good being a kid again, going to school? I would miss many people in my life that I wouldn't have met if I ever stayed that young. Experiences you cannot make. Life is not always easy, as bad as it can be, never close your eyes for the good things too. I am sure there is much in your life that you are proud of. Focus on that. And don't forget:

it is not important what but who you have in your life.  

My current fave German song is about life, its beauty and everything that is still ahead of you and me. Future can be scary, but should not be. If everything stays the same, would this really be a life worth living?

Celebrating the greatest gift

Every year we celebrate the miracle of birth. The greatest gift that we got is life. Being fine, being healthy is something we shouldn’t take for granted. Money can’t buy what is most important. So every year we think of our birth and celebrate life.

Parents do not only celebrate their own birthday, but also the ones of their kids. For them, their kids are like parts of themselves. They gave them life. A mother will never forget the day she gave birth to her child. The first time she heard her screaming, the first time she held her baby in her arms and saw her smiling are very special moments for every mother.

me with the Milton Mickey key chain I sent Jim

The love of a parent lasts forever. It’s a bond that never breaks. Family is what matters the most, what keeps us alive, what makes us stronger and encourage us to continue when life gets tough. Family is love, love is home and home is family. So wherever you find love, someone who really cares about you, keep this person in your heart. Family isn’t only blood related, it’s who truly loves you and who gives you this feeling to be home.

Today is Jim Parsons’ birthday and this year I was thinking of a present that might be his biggest wish - in some way. When I saw him as Sheldon in Big Bang Theory season 6 Christmas episode, when he talked to Santa that he wanted his Grandpa back, I saw Jim talking about his Dad. Last year he mentioned his Dad’s name, who died in a car accident, on “Who do you think you are?”. As a sign that his Dad is still with him, I bought a Mickey key chain and sewed a shirt. So this Milton Mickey should show him, though his eyes can’t see him anymore, his heart still can and his father is still always with him.

Well, sewing is not my strength, actually it’s the first time I ever did this, so I also wrote a poem. I thought of what Jim’s Dad might say to him if he had the chance to.

"Remember Me", the poem I wrote for Jim - click on the pic to enlarge it

 

Birthday is not only our day of birth we celebrate. It’s that we are all together with our families and forever will be. Birthday is the time to share with family, to forget the everyday stress and just enjoy the time and celebrate life.

Happy Birthday, Jim Parsons.

Happy new year!!!

This is my last blog post this year and I wanna wish you all a wonderful and happy new year 2014!!! May it be joyful and successful. When I look back I realize that it wasn't an easy and definitely not the best year of my life. So I really hope for a better 2014!!! But it wasn't that bad and it was another chapter of my life who made me the person I am today.

In 2014 I wanna travel more, earn more money to see the world and meet my friends who don't live pretty close where I live. I also wanna show them more how much they mean to me and how blessed I feel to have them in my life. I spent Christmas with my family, and it was great that my cousin came from Crete to celebrate with us. She, her hubby and their son leaved this morning. Next year I plan to visit them!

I took some time this holidays to think about my life, the things I wanna change but also the things I'm glad they happened. My time at college is almost over, and I hope to finally get some positive feedback and get a chance to work again. I also wanna write more, I have so many stories in my head, so I wanna take more time for me and do what I love so much. I think sometimes it's important to switch the everyday stress off, as hard as it is. Sometimes it could help to only switch off my phone one evening because I really don't like it to be permanent online because I think this can cause stress too. I mean when something really important happens these people can reach me without whatsapp or what ever.

For me the greatest joy is when I see a smile on the faces of the people I love. That is the greatest gift, and as important money these days is, I try to remind me more often next year, that everything that really matters is not a thing and can't be bought.

Do you have new year's resolutions? How was your 2013? I hope you had a great year and find something positive that happened this year, and I wish you a great new year 2014!!! Take care!! xoxo San

Merry Christmas

I know that I haven’t been blogging much lately, but as some of you might know I’ve been pretty busy with college stuff. But anyway I wanted to wish you guys a Merry Christmas!!! I hope you can spend it with your families, with the ones you love and care about the most. Many can’t be home for the holidays, and I always remind me of that. How lucky and blessed I am that I can share these days with my family. Christmas is the time of love, to share it, that is the greatest gift of all: the present is a present. Try to capture that moment, try to inhale the joy and laughter and all the happiness, and whenever you struggle in the following years or your life turns into a bumpy ride, think back to those happy days. They give you the strength to never give up. No matter how hard times might be, Christmas is the time to forget the stress, the sorrows, all trouble and pain. When you are sick, or alone, when you have to work or can’t be with your family for which reason ever, keep in mind that you are never alone. Your family might not be with you physically but mentally they are. The spirit of Christmas is everywhere these days. When Christ was born he brought light, joy and hope to everyone. He brightens up our lives. Remind us that we don’t need much money, don’t need a big villa or a limousine to be happy. Happiness is an attitude. Think positive, laugh a lot, help others, show your love and support and you will receive appreciation and gratitude. And one day these people will come and help you when you need them. 

pic taken from weheartit.com

Maria and Joseph, two poor people, their lives weren’t easy at all. And even when they needed help the most, no one seemed to care. But they found a way. They were blessed and they knew it. They didn’t let anything tear them down, not even on a cold winter’s night when they weren’t able to spend it in a warm house. The warmth came to them and so the light, when Jesus was born. All sorrows were forgotten and their lives were filled with happiness. And that is what Christmas is about. Celebrating the miracle of life, to appreciate everyone you have in your life. Because all of them helped you to become who you are in this very moment.

That is also why I loved the Big Bang Theory Christmas episode this year. The friends celebrating Christmas all together but without Sheldon who doesn’t like Christmas for several reasons. One of them is giving a present of the same amount of money to the person who he receives a gift from. This was also discussed in this year’s Simpsons Christmas episode. For many people Christmas is just about the money. Something I don’t like either. You give something to someone you love and show this to that person. The thought counts. Something that wasn’t that expensive can have a high value to the person you give it to because it’s personal and it comes from you. Like when Sheldon received the napkin in season 2. First it was only a napkin, then he saw it’s signed by Leonard Nimoy and he even whipped his mouth at it - and so a simple napkin meant the world to Sheldon and he couldn’t find the appropriate present for Penny. This season the friends celebrated without Sheldon and that was a gift for him because he doesn’t like it, and they waited to celebrate till he was gone. It meant they thought of him. And they did.

took a screenshot of season 7's Big Bang Theory Christmas
episode while watching it on CBS website

Where would they all have been if Sheldon wasn’t in their lives? Anywhere else but not where they are. I love that thought. When I started this blog almost 2 years ago, I wrote the story of the actual Big Bang Theory by using the characters of the show. And it started with Sheldon. I doubt that any of the writers read my blog, so I love that they might think the same way I do. Sheldon wouldn’t be who and where he is without all of them either. (Though he would never admit that!) 

That his sister Missy was pregnant and gave birth to a son was also something I like. This tiny new person came like out of nowhere (at least for Sheldon’s friends this was big news), born on Christmas and will sure have an impact on Sheldon somehow. I doubt Missy will name him Jesus, but anyway, I love the idea of putting the birth of a son to a Christmas story. Though it might be too obvious and less creative for some guys but it just fits to the holidays and what we celebrate these days. Family comes together, friends come all together. The friends also allowed Stuart to celebrate with them, because no matter how lonely or upset someone might feel to be, on Christmas no one is really alone!!

I hope you have wonderful, peaceful holidays, may they be merry and bright, filled with cheer and joy. No matter where you are, you are not alone, never! There are people out there who love you, who care about you. Some you may not know yet, but once you will come into their lives like the big bang, out of nowhere, expanding in their lives, and they no longer wanna think about their lives without you. Because your family and friends are happy to have you in their lives and they wouldn't be the same without you. Enjoy the miracle: life! 

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!

pic of my Christmas tree

The most precious

What is the most precious that you have? An elder woman once asked me this, and I was thinking about it. She said to me: Some people think they are rich when they have lots of money. Nowadays it's all about the money. People think they are only someone when they have enough of it, but no one ever has enough.

I guess she thought that I say the most precious in my life is something that I bought. And when I asked some of my friends the same question a few days later, most of them said something monetary. Some said their beds, their houses, their cars. And some guys never thought of that before.

When I answered the woman I said: my family. I told her that I'm happy to have them, my parents, my brother, my aunts, my uncles, and cousins, my Grandma. I'm also happy to have such amazing friends in my life.

She looked at me and smiled. I know that everything what really matters can't be bought, can't be replaced. When my computer or car is broken, I can find someone who might fix the problem or I buy a new one. When you lose someone you love, no one can give you this person back. When I grew up, three of my family members passed away and I asked my Mom why my friends can go to weddings and baptizings and I have to go to funerals. Of course she had no answer, but it let me realize that life doesn't last forever.

I looked at this woman who said to me: When you are in my age, you will know what is the most precious. Some have more, and some have less, but it's about the intensity, not the length. You can't buy it, you get in once, you have to spend it wisely, because when it's gone you'll never get it back. Money is important in our lives, and when you have some, you're lucky and can be happy about it. You can buy clothes, food, a house, but you can't buy time. You need time to spend with the ones you love, your family and friends. There is no better way to show someone you love them, than spending time with this person.

Life on the fast lane

When I look back at my childhood I remember having a pen pal living in Eureka, California and an other one living in Scotland. I wrote them letters by hand, not on the computer, and I sent them by mail. It took a while till their letters reached me, but I had something to look forward to. Waiting for an answer, what might be in the letter? What will she tell me? I was excited and when the letter finally arrived, I opened and read it, and reread it. But what happened to that? People send emails and texts, they don't have to wait for an answer that long. Once they sent a message, a few seconds later their phone blinks or makes a sound, and ta-dah there is the reply.

These days everything is fast, you have no time to rest, and no time to waste. We are all busy and we are always a step ahead. Yesterday at college our lecturer told us, that we can only do something well when we are completely present and aware of what we're doing in that very moment. Only when we pay full attention to it, we can reach the best results. But the problem is, as I said, we're mostly a step ahead. He explained it that normally when we sit we should just sit, when we stand we should stand and when we walk we should walk. But how is it really? When we sit we already think about standing and when we stand we already think where to go.

spend some time with your friends and family
picture by D. Sharon Pruitt

Many people don't allow themselves taking some time, they say: we don't have time for this, no time for that, they are all in a hurry all the time. Everything has to be fast. Sending a letter is for many people a waste of time, because till it arrives and till they get the reply, well that all simply needs too much time. So they grab their phones, type just a few words, but don't waste time writing full sentences or even complete words, and click the "send" button. But by doing that, they already think about the next message they have to send, then the meeting with the boss, then the birthday party of their kid. They are always a step ahead.

Working and doing stuff is great, but imagine a world without waiting. Would it be really that great like many guys think? Is it important that everything is that fast? Is waiting really that bad? When you're waiting till a good book will be released, waiting for a new song to come out, waiting for the new episode of your favorite TV show, waiting for the letter or a phone call or meeting your best friend or relatives again who you haven't seen in a while. Isn't it great when you can take time and wait for something to happen? I guess for soon-to-be parents pregnancy is something very special, when they wait for their kid to fulfill their lives. Imagine there would be a app for your phone and you click on it and ta-dah, your baby is there. As much as you want to meet her, see her and hold her in your arms, you also want to wait, because waiting is part of the whole beautiful experience. 

And isn't it the waiting that makes so many things just easier? I just recently read "The Little Prince" and if you haven't you should do it. There is so much truth in it, and in my next posts I will write about them. When the little Prince meets the fox, it told him that it wants to be tamed because only then, when the Prince takes his time to tame the fox, it will be important to the Prince and the Prince will be important to the fox. Otherwise the Prince will just be one of many princes and the fox only one of many foxes - the time we spend with someone makes this someone special to us. But people have no time to meet new people, to get to know new things. They want everything fast, they buy online instead of going to a mall, they buy instant meals instead of cooking for themselves. But they can't just buy friends, because a good, deep and long-lasting friendship needs time, so many people don't really have friends.

Tame an animal and it won't be just an animal, but a friend
pic by D. Sharon Pruitt

It's even more impressive to read the "The Little Prince", because it was written in the 1940s and it's still relevant. People are busy at work, busy all the time, in a hurry, always a step ahead. But you live right here, right now, so take some of your time to rest, to spend it with your family and friends. Get to know new stuff, new people, don't be in a hurry all the time. Have no time for being in a hurry. Take time to be there for the people you love, and when you're with them, don't think about your next appointment or your job. 

And when you know you will meet someone at a special time, then you can wait for that moment to come. And you will extend your happiness while waiting.

Heading Home

It was a long way, not always easy to get there. I felt cold, I felt warmth, I saw the sun, and I saw the moon. I met people, so many. Some of them were dancing, some were singing, some were acting, writing, painting. I met people who smiled, people who cried, people who suffered. It wasn’t always easy, but it was important. I needed it all. Because they are all part of my experience, part of me. What would I be, how would I be, if some things didn’t happen the way they did? What if I wouldn’t have met some people? Would I still be the same person I am right now?

There’s no doubt that I made the right choice, not always in my life, but most of it. There are things I regret, but the really important decisions, well, they weren’t wrong. One of them was starting to write again. I did this all my life, and when I was writing my play “Like A Fairytale” in 2006, I remember my Mom saying: “Do something useful, do the household or help gardening.” My Dad was fine with it, he just let me write, because he knew that I liked it. I still do, and he still knows, and now also my Mom does. So the decision I made, to start this blog one year ago, was good for me. I could write, not only stories, I could write about things that were just going on in my mind. And I could get in touch with new people, people who let me know their opinion, people who inspire me because they also write about interesting stuff.

What and who is in our heart?
picture by Barbara Unterberger

One year ago I wrote about my Granny, and because Easter is not far away anymore I wanna write about her again. I still miss her. She died in the year 2000, 2 days after her birthday. She was very weak on her final days, and she had to leave this world just way too soon. She was caring a lot, she had the greatest heart a person could have, she loved music, she had the melody in her heart. And she was strong. He had cancer, and the doctors gave her only a few months after the diagnosis, but she lived 10 more years. She was a fighter, and she didn’t want anyone to be sorry for her or to treat her differently. She doesn’t want her family, us, to suffer, too. She kept saying that she was okay. She was smiling, she was enjoying every single day of her life.

The day when my Dad told me, he had to go and drive to my Granny, I knew that she passed. I just nodded, tried to distract myself by watching some TV and keeping an eye on my little brother. My Mom told me later a story about her Mom, when she was a little kid and her Dad was in the Second World War, and the whole family just wanted to have him back. One day my Granny as a little girl was setting the dinner table with her brothers and sisters, as they all heard someone coming upstairs. They knew it was him, they were all so happy to see their Dad again. My Granny opened the door, but no one was there. About 2 weeks later they got a letter that he died.

I thought about this story a lot. Why did they all hear him? I think he came home, and everyone could feel him. I remembered how I had the feeling that my Granny was in my room with me, shortly after she died, and when I looked to the corner where I felt she was standing, I couldn’t see anything. I just believe that heaven is not a place high above, it’s when the soul can go home and continue living in the hearts of the people she loved. My Granny’s Dad came back, they all felt it, and my Granny is still with me. As long as I keep her in my heart she will never die completely. I guess she knew that, before she died. She knew the time would come, she knew her time is limited. Back then I thought she must be acting, but now I am sure that she was actually happy. Not because she died that young, but because she lived 10 years with this cancer. She had these 10 years, she had more time than the doctors predicted. She could spend more time with her family, and that’s the most important thing.

Two hearts belong together forever
picture by db Photography - Demi Brooke

We all have a limited time, it’s not always easy, there are not only easy choices to make, but it’s our journey, our path that we are going. It’s on us, if we waste our life, or if we do what we like, what we love, if we spend our time with the ones we love. Yes, I will keep on writing, this blog was good for me and still is. The first year is over, but that’s just the start. And maybe one day, when I have to leave this world, my kids, or my grandchildren can read all these things on this blog, because all the posts will remain forever. And maybe this will help them to realize that they are not alone, and even if someone they loved died, it doesn’t mean she's gone forever, because what really makes us happy, is to come home, to be home. And as long as you don’t forget her, you will feel that she is still with you and never has left you. The really important things can only be seen with your heart.