Wednesday, July 25, 2012

What makes a good parent?

Last Saturday I celebrated my 24th birthday. And it was the first time I spent it with Ella, the cute little daughter of my best friend. Of course I have already seen her before, but on my last birthday, my friend Krissy was still pregnant. I was shopping with her not just once, to buy all the baby stuff. It's simply amazing that the little girl will already turn 1 year next month. Time is really rushing by. I never felt like that when I was a child - back then a year seemed to be endless.

kids need to be loved....

Ella was wished, but later. My friend wanted to go to college first and after that she wanted to have a baby. She felt too young and not really ready, but after she figured out she was pregnant, she knew that she wanted the child. I read so many discussions about when a life actually starts and for me an unborn baby is already alive, because he or she lives. And when you feel your baby moving in you, it is already a part of you that you don't wanna miss anymore. I think it doesn't depend on someone's age to get the fear doing something wrong. I think when you feel too young or say you first need to earn enough money to allow your child the best possible childhood, you are already caring, and that makes a good parent.

I heard so many people who said that they could never raise an adopted kid or have a foster child. Because they wouldn't feel connected to them. One friend of my mom also said, that she doesn't know about the parents and so doesn't know what the child will once be like. But seriously, do you know that about your own child? And isn't it the education, the way you raise your child, the way he or she becomes? I think DNA is just a base. It's like the stage in a theater and the education is the play.

...and wanna show their love
My aunt has three foster children and she loves them all like they would be her own kids. The parents of two of the kids, who are actual brother and sister, don't care about their kids. They haven't given them much food, so they were totally scraggy and are still much smaller than they are supposed to be. My aunt gave this kids a new chance to live. When they were asked if they wanna go back to their parents they said no. These days they don't even wanna have contact like telephone calls or writing  letters. I guess that is really sad, and why shouldn't there be a person who help these innocent kids? Don't they have a right to live?

I have often asked myself what actually makes a good parent? A good parent takes care of his or her child, gives him or her a place to live and share his or her love. Love is what keeps us alive. If a mom doesn't feel ready and think she couldn't raise the baby and give it a good childhood - whatever the reason for that would be - and so she gives away her baby, I think that makes a good mom. Better than keeping the baby and let him or her suffer by not giving them anything to eat and drink. Someone who has the chance to raise a baby, and give this given-away baby a new chance to live and a new home, isn't that a good mom, too?

I also think that gay people can be good parents. It might be a little bit strange for most people, because it's simply not that common yet, but as long as they are caring. Why not? After I have seen Neil Patrick Harris on Kelly Ripa last month I believe that he and David are good fathers. They really love their twins and spending time with them. They can't have their own children, and I know that there are lots of couples, not only gay couples, who can't have own kids either, so an adoption is the only possible way for them to raise a baby.

DNA is not the only connection. The biggest connection is love. Everyone has love to give. And wouldn't it be a good feeling if you would know you helped a person? This little girl or boy wouldn't be able to live without you, or not that well? Wouldn't it be as you would have given this person a life? What makes a good parent for you?


Tina Fariss Barbour said...

Sanny, I love your statement "DNA is not the only connection. The biggest connection is love." I agree. A good parent has love for the child and shows it by spending time with her, teaching her, protecting her, supporting her and helping her grow into a good adult.

Alisha said...

The way I see it? No child deserves to be left alone on this earth to fend for itself. EVERY child deserves to have someone who will comfort them, provide for them, teach them respect and responsibility, and most importantly, love. My parents divorced when I was 3 and I've never really known how it feels to have real parents.

That said, I don't care who it is. If they make a good parent and they teach their children the difference between right from wrong, then they're okay in my book.

Great post, Sanny!

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